Talk:Twin Suns/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 20:11, 22 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:11, 22 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

Add the "use mdy dates" template to fix citations per WP:BADDATE.
The lead should be expanded to two to three paragraphs to summarize the entire article.

Done, I hope it is enough to summarize the article, I did not want to spoil the episode's main twist (which makes up most of the Writing section). Yeeno (talk) 🍁 22:15, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Looks great.

Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 22:24, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

Isn't the word "Holocron", also seen in #Casting, supposed to be capitalized?

Looking at Wookieepedia, it is not capitalized as an in-universe object. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 17:45, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Just asking since Wikipedia and various sources have it capitalized. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 18:58, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I understand the confusion, Wikipedia refers to the real-life database (capitalized), while the fictional in-universe object is not. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 19:05, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"Shortly afterwards" → "Shortly afterward" (American English)
The plot section is under 400 words, so that passes MOS:TVPLOT.

Production

Recite sources at the end of every quote per WP:QUOTE.

Is this needed for the mid sentence quote? If not I only recited the one that preceded a semi-colon. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 18:08, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

No, just for sentences containing quotes. The one with "wretched hive of scum and villainy" needs a recite. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 18:45, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure how to treat this one, since the full line is not referenced in the article, but rather mentioned as the "'scum and villainy' line" (see ref 15); I only included the full line to make it clear to the readers what it refers to. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 19:09, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Well, the phrase would need a citation at the end of the sentence its in. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 19:12, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Yeeno (talk) 🍁 19:18, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"creation the episode" → "creation of the episode"
"Lucasfilm Story Group, who" → "Lucasfilm Story Group, which" (not a person)
"the season 2" doesn't sound right - maybe change it to "the second season"
"one off" → "one-off"
Is the comma after "emotional connection" necessary?
Remove the comma after "controversial" (short sentence).
"the The Phantom Menace" → "The Phantom Menace"
"as at the same age is" is confusing so reword

Dropped the "as" here, sounds better. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 17:52, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"According the Filoni" → "According to Filoni"
Remove the comma after "protecting".
"21 minute" → "21-minute"
Remove the comma after "impressed".
Remove the comma after "contributions to the character".

Promotion and release

"in United Kingdom" → "in the United Kingdom"

Reception

Slash Film → /Film
New York Daily News → New York Daily News
"well received" → "well-received" (both uses)
Add a serial comma after "Kenobi, Maul".
Order the citations after "storyline".
Also make a WP:CITEBUNDLE to avoid WP:OVERCITE.
IGN → IGN
"the The AV Club" → The A.V. Club
This section has a lot of quotes so try paraphrasing and expanding the section per WP:RECEPTION.

Done Yeeno (talk) 🍁 22:36, 29 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

References

#3 is missing its author and date parameters.
Use "cite AV media" for #5.

This is already done. Yeeno (talk) 🍁 18:47, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

#6, #11, #13, #16, #18, #21, #22, #24, #25 are missing authors.
Try wikilinking websites.
#19 and #23 should be "Anderton; Joe" instead of "Joe Anderton"
Remove "- Nerdist" from the title of #21 and change the website name to "Nerdist".
"CINEMABLEND" → "CinemaBlend"
Properly cite #24 and wikilink Mitch Metcalf.
"KEANE, SEAN" → "Keane, Sean"
"nydailynews.com" → New York Daily News
The AV Club → The A.V. Club
ScreenRant → Screen Rant
Sources are archived.

Some Dude From North Carolina: I've implemented all your suggestions. If the reception section still needs work, any advice or assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reviewing this! Yeeno (talk) 🍁 23:10, 29 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Progress

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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