Talk:Turkoman (ethnonym)/GA5

GA Review

Passed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:52, 6 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 21:09, 22 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

Prose

Lede

I feel like the several different languages stated would be better as a note as it's very long. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:18, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
, is a term that was widely used during the Middle Ages for the people of Oghuz Turkic origin. - put this the other way around. A lede sentence needs to get across what something is above all else, so the time it was used is secondary. Saying that this "was a term for the people of... that was widely used during the Middle Ages" is a good way to explain easier to the causal reader (such as myself). Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:18, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
such as "Bayat", "Bayandur", "Afshar", "Kayi", and others - you don't need to say "such as" and also "and others", both mean the same thing. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:18, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Why is the article at "Turkomen" when the rest of the lede talks about "Turkmen"? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:18, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Thanks for your timely suggestions. Regarding your last point, "Turkomen" and "Turkmen" are simply two variants of the same ethnonym. However, I would still keep the "Turkmen" variant instead of the "Turkoman" one for the rest of the article, because the latter has not been used as much as the "Turkmen" one since the second half of the last century as can be seen in Google Ngram Viewer (1). Moreover, these two variants, along with "Turcoman" and "Turkomen", have been used interchangeably since the emergence of the term (which is also discussed in the article) and my guess is - leaving this one as it is should not be a big deal. Please, tell me what you think?

- - My only argument is if the article should live at Turkmen instead, and move the disambig page. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:15, 4 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

General

Turkomania of the Ottoman Empire, as shown on the German map - presumably "a" German map? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:26, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Turkic-Persian derivation is now viewed as incorrect.^{[according to whom?]}
Central Asia.[7][8][9][10] - WP:CITEKILL Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:26, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
11th century - never start a sentence with a number. Reorder to avoid. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:26, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Turkomans settled in Islamic countries and showed great character. So much so that they rule most of these lands, becoming kings and sultans .... Those who live in deserts and steppes and lead a nomadic lifestyle in summer and winter, they are the strongest of people and the most persistent in battle and war. - not sure why this needs to be written out in full, could easily be summarised. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:26, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
.[21][22][23][24] The - CITEKILL, happens a few more times in the article. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:26, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
term "Turkmen" was gradually supplanted by the term "Ottomans". - who said this and where's the source? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:26, 27 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Waiting for further remarks. Regards, Visioncurve^{Timendi causa est nescire} 13:49, 4 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

What makes an era notable - List of notable Turkmen (Oghuz) dynasties? There's no citations. I'd rather we discussed them or put them in a navbox, not just listed.Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:20, 4 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]
bol- "to be(come)" - why is this bolded? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:21, 4 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, thanks. That's a good idea, frankly. Newly designed Turkoman Navbox is on its way, coming out soon. Visioncurve^{Timendi causa est nescire}

Review meta comments

I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:09, 22 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.