Talk:Tropical Storm Yun-yeung/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: OhHaiMark (talk · contribs) 16:35, 7 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 22:31, 30 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I thought I'd review this, since I have a few GAN's open.

First thing, make sure you have all units in metric and imperial, so km/h and mph in this case, not knots, which is used more by the scientific community.
How did the deaths happen?
Where did Yun-yeung make landfall?
Can you link low-pressure area and UTC?
Minor quibble, but did PAGASA really "upgrade", or did it designate the tropical depression?
You didn't go much into the storm's movement or development. The archives has advisories - check out the prognostic reports from JTWC. That will help you go into more detail about why the storm moved and developed the way it did.
On what basis was the estimated peak intensity?
The Impact section has a lot of "would..." verbiage. When you're describing a typhoon, you can say "the typhoon caused", not "the typhoon would cause".
What exact rainfall records were broken, and from when?
The numbering is a bit odd in the impact section when you spell it out. It should be "10,000 households", "32 flights"
I think you mention the train part in two different sections. You mention "Some train lines were impacted in the Kanto region" as well as "Additionally, rides in the Tokaido Line, Uchibo Line and Gaibo Line were temporarily suspended.". Can you put the train stuff together?
A minor quibble, but you don't write about any actual damage, so I'm left wondering how there was over $10 million in damage. Was that the flood in Shinjuku Station? I would expect roof damage, or maybe crop damage, or some kind of damage, and the article doesn't get into quite enough detail.

So that's my review. Please let me know if you have any questions, @OhHaiMark:. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:31, 30 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've fixed most of the issues you pointed out. Is there anything else I need to do? OhHaiMark (talk) 14:41, 4 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Couple small things @OhHaiMark:

The units should be metric first, since Japan was the most affected country. Also, convert "15 meters"
Be sure to specify that the JMA designated it as a depression on the 4th.
On what basis was the estimated peak intensity? Dvorak technique, or direct measurements perhaps?
What happened to the 32 flights? It's not there anymore.
The only time you mention flooding is with the Shinjuku Station. Was there flooding anywhere else?

The article is getting better, but a few more issues here. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:04, 4 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've now fixed those issues! OhHaiMark (talk) 03:26, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I'm re-reading the article now. Here's a few glaring things that are still standing out.

There's no mention of the movement, or why the storm moved the way that it did.
You mentioned the wind shear being a deterrent, as well as "Despite that, conditions were still favorable for the system to intensify" - without saying what allowed it to still intensify
"It began tracking westward instead of north-westward, rapidly weakening due to the increasing shear." - did it really turn to the west?
The JMA best track has dissipation on September 8. I'm not sure where you have the storm lasting until the 9th.
Are there any more examples of flooding? You have 77 buildings and a train station getting flooded. Surely, some businesses, freeways, schools, or other facilities got flooded.
Here is a website showing more information (in Japanese). It has an exact number of the houses damaged, including how many were destroyed.
Given that there were over 100 landslides, did any of them do anything notable, like blocking roads or rail lines?
Have you searched Google for the storm's name in Japanese? The reason I ask is that the article is on the short side, but I do believe there's room for expansion.

♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 07:15, 8 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've now addressed most of these issues, however, it seems like the landslides didn't do much. OhHaiMark (talk) 16:22, 15 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

PS: I now this isn't related to the review, but I'm currently thinking of rewriting the 1980 Pacific typhoon season. However, I'm not sure if systems designated by the JTWC, PAGASA, or JMA should be prioritized. Normally, I'd go with the latter, but as TCWCs didn't even exist at that time, I'm not sure. OhHaiMark (talk) 16:37, 15 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Are you sure? You have that the storm moved northwestward, but the map doesn't suggest that was the case. That was an issue I mentioned that you haven't fixed. Also, the infobox still has the dissipation date as the 9th. Why is that? In the future, could you reply to each comment, so I know how you have addressed each comment? Further...

"Despite that, due to the system's diffluent outflow" - this needs to be explained better, since it's the only apparent reason the storm intensified. What is diffluent? What is outflow? Which system?

And I'm not sure where you're getting that the landslides didn't do much. A landslide destroyed a road. That's the sort of impact I was looking for, but wasn't seeing in the article. As it stands, there's barely enough information in the article for it to justify even existing, since the impact section is on the short side. I'll ask again if you've done some Google searching in Japanese? There's probably enough other information out there on the storm's effects to justify keeping the article. I can even help you if you need, I just need to point out something that is missing. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:43, 15 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Do these issues make sense OhHaiMark (talk · contribs)? There's probably enough information out there to add in if you use more Japanese sources. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:54, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The article is almost there, but were you able to take care of these last few issues, OhHaiMark (talk · contribs)? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:17, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately I had to fail the GAN due to too much time passing, and not enough progress on the core issues. Some further issues for the future:

"Due to a binary interaction with the remnants of Kirogi, Yun-yeung began to slow down and track slightly south" - the track map never had the storm going southward

Inconsistent with the dates. The Met history starts with September 4th, then "a day later", and then JMA stating that a storm formed, but the infobox has the formation on the 4th.

"Tracking northwestward due to the influence of a subtropical ridge" - it moved northeastward

The JTWC and JMA peak were around the same time, but are listed in separate paragraphs.

Honestly, it was mostly the addition of these errors, and the lack of Japanese sources, why I failed the article, and I believe it wouldn't take much work to get this to a GA, OhHaiMark (talk · contribs). ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 06:46, 31 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I posted a question to the talk page; could someone add the relevant info the article? Feel like I often see explanations for storm names in articles 104.232.119.107 (talk) 23:10, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]