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Talk:Tropical Storm Podul (2013)/GA1

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Reviewer: Cloudchased (talk · contribs) 20:55, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be taking this one. Looks good :) Cloudchased (talk) 20:55, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Generally, the prose is pretty clear and has few issues, and I don't have any ref nitpicks for once. :p Even so, there's still a few spots that could be clarified:

  • "After crossing the Philippines, the depression intensified into Tropical Storm Podul on November 14." Was it designated at this time or did it intensify into a TS? Or both?
  • "the circulation" → "its circulation"?
  • "Podul killed 42 people in the country and caused 74 injuries." You could compact this slightly into "Podul killed 42 people and injured 74 others in the country" or something along these lines.
  • "On November 9, an area of disorganized convection, or thunderstorms, persisted" – wait, persisted? Then where did they come from? Word choice issues, methinks.
  • Not quite. The JTWC clearly said the convection persisted. They don't say where it came from, but for what it's worth, convection often forms throughout the earth fairly randomly, sometimes simply due to the interaction between warm water and cooler atmosphere. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:39, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "[PAGASA] initiated advisories on Tropical Depression Zoraida, after the system entered the area of responsibility of the agency." → "after the system entered its area of responsibility." Scratch the commas, make it simple to read, please. :P
  • "... although operationally the agency had classified the system two days prior." – er, could you explain what this means?
  • "the convection became less organized" → "its convection became less organized"
  • "declaring that the depression degenerated" → "declaring that the depression had degenerated"?
  • "crossed over Palawan island and into the South China Sea" – if the area beyond Palawan island is the SCS, then the "and" isn't necessitated.
  • "the convection had rapidly increased" → "that convection had rapidly increased"; just an opinion.
  • "but warm water temperatures and moderate outflow were expected to allow intensification." I feel like this part needs more emphasis, as well; maybe add an "even so" to indicate that the conditions were generally favorable despite the wind shear?
  • "10–minute" ... "1–minute" – oi, use a hyphen. Dashes aren't dashing in this place... see the MoS.
  • "the latter agency only estimating tropical depression-force winds" is redundant; merge that part with the JTWC info, please.
  • "For Palau and nearby Yap island, the Guam National Weather Service warned of the potential of heavy rainfall and high surf." Flip this sentence around to start with the GNWS part. ;)
  • "After the extreme damage from Typhoon Haiyan that struck the Philippines" – extreme damage struck the Philippines? Wording, please.
  • "which affected rescue work" – nitpick, but how so?
  • "including 1,400 the resort town" – I think you might have forgotten a word or two here...
  • "canals or dykes" – Use "and"! >:(
  • "The high rainfall increased levels along rivers" – I was on level 25 today but then I lost my last life to the red ghost. Er, what type of levels? Please clarify in the article. :P
  • "record set in 1981" ... "worst in Vietnam since 1999" – by? If it isn't known then I'll let it slide.

Overall, it's very well-written and I don't have any other issues to bring up. Also, kudos for archiving/rescuing those few links. ;) Nice work as usual, Hink! Cloudchased (talk) 21:28, 21 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

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