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Talk:Tropical Storm Eliakim/GA1

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LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 17:15, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]


This article is pretty well-written. However, I did find a handful of minor issues. LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 17:15, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • Severe Tropical Storm Eliakim was a tropical cyclone that affected Madagascar and killed 21 people. I would add that this happened in 2018.
  • in the year to impact Madagascar, Doesn't really say which year this was (even though that can be deduced by reading through the article).
  • with MFR designating it as Change "MFR" to "the MFR". Unless an acronym can be read as a name, it should have "the" written before it. There are a total of 18 instances of this in the article that need to be corrected, including a total of 4 in the lead.
    •  Not done for now, for me my rule of thumb for abbreviations is if the full acronym sounds wrong with "the" before it, it should also not have "the" before it when it's abbreviated. For example, "the JTWC" and "the Joint Typhoon Warning Center" both sound right, but "the MLG" and "the Major League Gaming" doesn't.
  • at 07:00 UTC Link "UTC" to Coordinated Universal Time.
  • Eliakim re-intensified into a severe tropical storm on 19 March before being downgraded back into a moderate tropical storm 6 hours later. Add a comma after "19 March".
    •  Not done "before" is here to show that "Eliakim re-intensified into a severe tropical storm on 19 March" happened before "being downgraded back into a moderate tropical storm 6 hours later", adding the comma could give the impression that the second part of the sentence happened before the first part, which contradicts the content of the second part. Akbermamps 04:29, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Eliakim caused 21 fatalities in Madagascar, affecting another 60,000 and displacing 19,439 people. Change "affecting" to "affected" and "displacing" to "displaced", for consistency. Also add a comma after "60,000".
  • estimated to be at 10 billion Malagasy ariary (US$3.21 million). Change "to be at" to "to cost".
Meteorological history
  • Convection was disorganized, and conditions were marginally favorable due to a beneficial upper-level environment and strong wind shear at 25–30 knots (45–55 km/h; 30–35 mph), Add a comma after "marginally favorable".
  • By 11 March, MFR further upgraded Same issue outlined earlier in the lead. Change "MFR" to "the MFR", for each instance in which the acronym is used. There are 12 instances of this in the MH section.
  • the JTWC upgraded the system's development potential within the next day to medium as wind shear decreased to 15–20 knots (30–35 km/h; 15–25 mph). Add a comma after "medium".
    •  Not done adding a comma would unnecessarily break up the sentence and change the meaning of the sentence from "the JTWC upgrading the system's development potential with wind shear decreasing to X" to "the JTWC upgrading the system's development potential because wind shear decreased to X". Akbermamps 04:29, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • At 18:00 UTC as convective activity increased, Add a comma after "18:00 UTC".
  • the JTWC followed Change "followed" to "followed suit".
    •  Not done not comfortable with using idioms, just changed the sentence to "On 15 March at 00:00 UTC, the JTWC also upgraded Eliakim to a tropical storm".
  • MFR upgraded Eliakim to a severe tropical storm as its center was surrounded by strong convection, Change "MFR" to "The MFR". Also add a comma after "severe tropical storm".
    • Both  Not done see above; adding a comma would unnecessarily break up the sentence and change the meaning of the sentence from "MFR upgrading it with strong convection surrounding the center at the same time" to "MFR upgrading it because the center was surrounded by convection". Akbermamps 04:29, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Eliakim passed over the Antongil Bay before moving slightly to the north after it moved back inland. Add a comma after "Antongil Bay".
  • It slowly organized over the next day as its convective structure began to improve, however, its interaction with land still hindered convective intensification. Change "It" to "The system". Also, change the comma before "however" to a semi-colon; this is a comma-splice error.
  • and 6 hours later on 20 March at 00:00 UTC, MFR downgraded Eliakim to a moderate tropical storm. Add a comma after "later". Also change "MFR" to "the MFR".
  • and at 06:00 UTC, MFR assessed that Eliakim transitioned into a post-tropical depression as advanced scatterometer data showed an elongated circulation and rainfall ceased on the storm's northern side. Change "MFR" to "the MFR". Also add a comma after "post-tropical depression".
    •  Partly done added comma since the ASCAT pass was the main reason why MFR downgraded Eliakim to a post-tropical cyclone, did not add "the" for reason stated above. Akbermamps 04:29, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • On 22 March at 12:00 UTC, MFR assessed that it had transitioned into an extratropical cyclone, and 6 hours later at 18:00 UTC, MFR stopped tracking the system. Change each instance of "MFR" to "the MFR". Also, add a comma after "later".
Preparations and impact
  • On 15 March, Météo Madagascar issued a red alert for areas in the central-eastern and northern parts of Madagascar due to heavy rains and strong winds, Add a comma after "northern parts of Madagascar".
    •  Not done reading it out loud with the comma included feels wrong and broken up, also Grammarly apparently flags it as "Punctuation in compound/complex sentences". Akbermamps 04:29, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Red alerts were also issued by the agency for the northern and east-central parts of Madagascar due to heavy rains and strong winds. Add a comma after "Madagascar".
  • By 13:00 UTC (16:00 EAT), Link "EAT" to East Africa Time.
  • a red alert was issued for the region of Vatovavy-Fitovinany due to heavy rains accompanied by occasional gale-force winds, Add a comma after "Vatovavy-Fitovinany".
  • and Vakinankaratra as Eliakim moved away from the country. Add a comma after "Vakinankaratra".
    •  Not done adding comma feels wrong, just split up the sentence and moved "as Eliakim moved away from the country" to the beginning of the second sentence. Akbermamps 04:29, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • 15 roads were damaged along with 27 health facilities, Add a comma after "damaged".
  • Rehabilitation works were estimated to reach 10 billion malagasy ariary (US$3.21 million). Add "in cost" after "(US$3.21 million)".
  • An orange alert was issued by MFR Change "MFR" to "the MFR".
  • Several areas recorded gusts of above 100 kilometers per hour (62 mph), Remove "of".
  • and Hauts de Ste-Rose 228.8 millimeters (9.01 in) of rainfall within 3 hours. Add "recording" after "Hauts de Ste-Rose".
  • In Mayotte, 67.2 millimeters (2.65 in) of rainfall was recorded in Mzouazia, 37.2 millimeters (1.46 in) in Pamandzi, 23 millimeters (0.91 in) in Dembeni, and 21.5 millimeters (0.85 in) in Coconi within 6 hours. Add a comma after "Coconi".
Copyvio check
  • I ran the article through Earwig's Copyvio Detection Tool. The highest match found was 5.7%, and I didn't see anything that looked like a copyright violation.
Source review

Final

[edit]
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    I am going to ✓ Pass this article. Congratulations on your first GA! LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 11:07, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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