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Talk:Tropical Storm Edouard (2008)/GA1

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 14:48, 16 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "August 3, 2008" - don't think you need 2008 since the year is already established in the first sentence.
  • "However, northerly wind shear halted any further significant intensification" - this implies no strengthening after it became a TS
  • "Shortly thereafter, the storm made landfall near Gilchrist, Texas" - since this is arguably the most important thing Edouard did, you should have a date for this.
  • "Light rains and relatively strong winds left more than 2,000 without electricity and damaged trees and the roofs of mobile homes." - bit of a run-on. Did the light rains really do this?
  • "Storm surge caused coastal flooding in eastern Texas. " - we got this from the opening sentence. Unless, does this relate to the damage in Gilchrist?
  • " while portions of a few major roads, such as Interstate 10 were closed" - add comma after I-10
  • "and left about 3000,000 people " - is that 3 million or 300,000?
  • "Overall, losses from Tropical Storm Edouard " - losses or damage?
  • "As a result, the National Hurricane Center initiated advisories on Tropical Depression Five at 1200 UTC on August 3" - that's not true. Ref #4 says NHC initiated advisories on TD 5 at 2100 UTC that day. The TCR confirms it formed earlier, but that's not how you worded it.
  • "At 0000 UTC on August 4, the National Hurricane Center upgraded the depression to Tropical Storm Edouard" - again, not true. It was at 2200 UTC on August 3 in discussion 2, which you already link!
  • " Later that day, convection briefly decreased around the center, followed by a pre-dawn convective flare up that enveloped its east side, nearly surrounding the center by afternoon as westerly vertical wind shear decreased. " - can you rewrite this? It's a bit jargony, a bit long, and a bit confusing.
  • Why don't you say when the remnant low dissipated?
  • "Dow Chemical shutdown" - shutdown is two words in this instance.
  • Any impact in Mississippi?
  • "Minor flooding from the surge traveled up the Calcasieu River to Lake Charles; water flooded a local yacht club" - I'd combine these with a "where waters flooded" for the end bit.
  • "In the Cameron, Vermilion, and Calcasieu Parishes" - get rid of "the" and make it lowercase "parishes"
  • " though a gust of 62 mph (100 km/h) at Calcasieu Pass" - verb?
  • "More than 2,000 people were left without electricity in Cameron Parish as winds downed trees and power lines. Additionally, at least 1,000 customers lost power in Calcasieu Parish for similar reasons." - if they're similar, can you combine the sentences?
  • "Winds gusted to over 50 mph (80 km/h), peaking at over 70 mph (110 km/h). Furthermore, a wind gust of 71 mph (114 km/h) was reported at Texas Point." - merge, cut redundancies
  • "Due to the high winds, widespread power outages were reported in Jefferson County. Throughout the county, the winds brought down trees and power lines, and damaged hundreds of homes. At the storm's peak, at least 300,000 customers in Southeastern Texas were without power" - feel like these three sentences could be rewritten as two.

That's it for now. Have fun with making the changes. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:48, 16 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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