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Talk:Tropical Storm Debra (1978)/GA1

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Reviewer:Juliancolton (talk) 15:18, 19 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

HFan, nice work on this. I think it has potential to be listed as a GA in the extremely near future, but there are things I'd like to see improved on in the meantime. Things I see from the get-go:

  • The lead is very brief, and does not summarize the whole article in my opinion.
  • Tropical Depression Four remained a depression until August 26, when it was upgraded to tropical storm status, and was named as Tropical Storm Debra. - This is extremely clunky wording, as is the following...
  • As Debra approached the coast it reached peak intensity, with winds of 60 mph (95 km/h).
  • Several tornadoes were spawned as the storm moved ashore. - try to avoid "were" when you know the cause of the action; for example, this could be "The storm spawned several tornadoes, etc."
  • You don't need to link dissipation.

Overall, I think the writing needs a lot of work, and the above examples are from the lead alone. Let me know when you've gone through the entire page and I'll reevaluate. For now it's on-hold for around a week to allow these issues to be addressed. Juliancolton (talk) 15:18, 19 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]