Talk:Tropical Storm Candy/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 17:47, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, GeorgeC. I will be reviewing this article very shortly. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 17:47, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Gradually strengthened occurred, with the depression becoming Tropical Storm Cindy on the following day." -- Needs parallelism. "Gradually strengthening occurred" does not make sense.

Changed to "Gradual strengthening occurred"--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"The storm reached its peak intensity of 70 miles per hour (110 km/h) later that day and made landfall Port Aransas, Texas on June 23." - Make sure both units are abbreviated or completely typed out, but not one without the other.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Cindy weakened into a tropical depression after only hours after moving inland." - No need for the first instance of "after".

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

" However, it persisted for a few days, until the storm became extratropical over Michigan on June 26." --> "However, the system remained a designated cyclone until June 26, at which time it completed extratropical transition over the state of Michigan." or something of the sort.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Due to rainfall from a previous weather system, the ground was already saturated throughout Texas." - Which storm system?

A trough--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"As a result, Cindy caused flood damage, due to precipitation exceeding 11 inches (280 mm) in some areas." - This sentence is marginally counterproductive to the first. Initially you mention that the rains from a previous system led to flooding, but then you state that the 11 inches of rainfall caused it. I suggest a small reword.

Better?--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Minor damage to crops, roads, and bridges was reported in the eastern portions of the state." - After rewording the two sentences above, connect this one to the second with a semicolon.

Better?--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Storm surge along the coast of Texas caused "cuts" on Padre Island" - What do you mean?

I think "cuts" are like "Isabel Inlet".--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Overall, Cindy caused $2.7 million in damage and no fatalities." - Just say "the system" or something similar because you state the storm's name in the previous sentence.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Between mid- to late-June, satellite imagery indicated above normal amounts of shower and thunderstorm activity over the southwestern Gulf of Mexico." - Only use the dash for mid-June, it's not needed for late June. Also, is there a set standard for the amount of shower and thunderstorm activity the Gulf should have? If so, link me! I was unaware!

Fixed the mid/late June part. However, I can't do anything regarding the second part. First of all, the source simply says "above normal cloudiness" a.k.a. "showers and thunderstorms". Second, the "standards" have probably changed since then, as this storm was almost 45 years ago now.--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"By June 22, the system developed into a tropical depression just off the coast of Mexico in the Bay of Campeche." - I really hate to be so detailed with this review...but, do you know how they knew it was a tropical depression? Still satellite or land/buoy observations?

I don't know, there is simply a mention about a tropical depression developing. Maybe it was satellite imagery? What do you think?--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"The depression, which initially had an elongated structure,[2] moved north to north-northwestward at about 23 mph (37 km/h)" - I will shoot you for using "at about". Not really, but try "at roughly".

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

" On June 22, three separate and distinct circulation centers were found in weather radar images from Brownsville, Texas." - Were found? Were they lost or something? How about "were noted".

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Later that afternoon, a United States Navy reconnaissance aircraft investigated the depression and recorded sustained winds of 50 miles per hour (80 km/h) and a minimum barometric pressure of 1,001 mbar (29.6 inHg)." - Same as my second bullet about the units.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"While moving across the Midwestern United States, the storm began to lost tropical characteristics due to the presence of cold air." - Lose, not lost.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Storm surge was highest in San Antonio and Corpus Christi Bays at 4 feet (1.2 m) and was 2 to 3 feet (0.61 to 0.91 m) along the rest of the Texas coast." - Comma after Christi Bays and after (1.2m).

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"However, damage from the storm surge was confined to the formation of "cuts" along Padre Island and to coastal oil refinery equipment" - Again, cuts? Wuzzat?

See above--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Prior to the formation of Candy, a trough had brought eight to ten days of rainfall throughout Texas which helped the heavy rainfall from Candy cause damage to crops, roads, and bridges throughout eastern Texas." - Nonstop rain? Cause to produce.

Fixed; also cut out one use of the word "Candy".--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Impact from wind was mostly minor. However, the 740 feet (230 m) public fishing pier in Port O'Connor was severely damaged due to winds of 65 mph (100 km/h)." - Combine.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Ten towboats and barges, as well as several other small vessels received minor impacts at Hopper's Landing on San Antonio Bay" - Comma after vessels.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Outside of Texas, 2 to 4 inches (51 to 100 mm) of rain was reported in Oklahoma, Arkansas, Missouri, and Illinois." - Be sure to state isolated locations only, not the entire states.

Can't mention specific locations since most of it was in swaths, but I will include the portion of the states, like northern Illinois.--12george1 (talk) 19:09, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Precipitation in Michigan exceeded 6 inches (150 mm) in some areas,[6] potentially contributing to the ongoing flooding event in Ann Arbor" - Why is it only a potential contribution? If there were flooding problems ongoing, and Candy produced heavy rainfall in the state, then it undoubtedly hurt the situation.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Five additional tornadoes which were associated with the extratropical remnants of Candy were reported on June 25 in eastern Ohio" - Comma after "tornadoes", comma after "Candy".

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"That tornado "nearly demolished a school in Morning Star, Arkansas." - The quote goes on forever?!

"This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on my friend..."--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Candy made 1968 only one of four years to have three named storms in June, the others being 1886, 1936, and 1959." - "with" after the comma.

Fixed--12george1 (talk) 19:04, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

You know I don't like to fail reviews, so the article is on hold for a while until these issues are addressed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 18:09, 3 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]