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GA Review

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 22:15, 22 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:15, 22 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The image is appropriately tagged. Earwig shows no issues.

  • What makes the following reliable sources? I'm not saying they're definitely unreliable, just that we need evidence of what makes them reliable.
    • "National Discourse on Carnival Arts" (FN 11)?
    • angelacobbinah.wordpress.com -- seems to be a blog
    • lwbooks.co.uk/staying-power -- also a blog; this is a reliable publisher but I would question whether their blog is a reliable source for the historical details you're using it for
  • 'Several historians of British socialist movements have described Carter as "one of the Communist Party of Great Britain's (CPGB) most important black members" from the mid-1950s until 1991.' This is oddly phrased. I don't doubt the quote, but as written it sounds like we're saying several different historians have all used the exact same words to describe Carter. Or did you phrase it this way because the source has three authors?
  • "from his arrival to Britain in 1954": "arrival in Britain" sounds more natural to me than "arrival to Britain".
  • "Sometime during his childhood, he met a girl called Corinne, whom he married later in life." This is unsourced.
  • "At the age of 14, Carter left school and began working as a mess boy on a merchant ship, during which he travelled to New Orleans where he witnessed the brutality of segregation." I think this needs rephrasing. As written, "during which" refers to the merchant ship. Perhaps something like "At the age of 14, Carter left school and began working as a mess boy on a merchant ship, and during this time he travelled to New Orleans where he witnessed the brutality of segregation."
  • "The CPGB was able to gain close contacts with Caribbean communists such as Carter through its support of the Caribbean Labour Congress (CLC), an organisation described by the Labour Party and TUC as a "communist front".[10] The British branch of the CLC was founded in 1948 with the help of CPGB activists, who allowed the CLC to print their newspaper, Caribbean News, free of charge." This paragraph confuses me. We've just said that Carter joined the CPGB within days of arriving in the UK, so how did the CLC play a role in his case? And if it didn't, why are we mentioning it?
  • Link Claudia Jones on first mention, rather than later in the article. Similarly for Corinne Skinner Carter.
  • "where she was greeted by Carter and his wife Corinne (then fiancé)": suggest "where she was greeted by Carter and his fiancé (and later wife) Corinne".
  • "was imprisoned for her communist beliefs and her support for Black African-American civil rights": the article on Jones is more specific about particular essays she wrote that led to her imprisonment. Support for civil rights would certainly have been a red flag back in the 1950s, but I don't think we can use a generality like that here -- if it's relevant we should say what she did. Or perhaps bypass the issue by saying she was convicted under the Smith Act, with a link?
  • "She quickly became very close with the couple, with Corinne Skinner-Carter regularly doing Jone's hair": can we avoid using Corinne's married name until after we say she's married? If the dates here are uncertain, just swapping the order of the sentences could work.
  • "but did not want to take part in Britain's colonial wars": this is certainly how Carter would have described them, but might not be considered neutral phrasing now. How about phrasing this so the description is clearly his, if the source will support that?
  • "In the aftermath of the 1959 racist murder of Kelso Cochrane". From what I read in our article on Kelso Cochrane's murder, it was never actually proved that it was racist, though it inflamed racial tensions. Can we make this something like "In the aftermath of the Notting Hill race riots, and the 1959 murder of Kelso Cochrane by white youths, which inflamed racial tensions"?
  • "However, during his time in Guiana, the political situation became unstable, and a combination of both police repression and violence perpetrated by the People's National Congress and their attempts to destabilise the country." Not grammatical; not sure what you meant to say here. And why is this relevant? Is this why he left Guyana?
  • 'He worked with Jean Coussins to co-create Shattering Illusions: West Indians in British Politics (1986), "a social and political commentary on the interface between Caribbean migrants and British society and politics from the Post War period up until the early 1980s."' Is this an article, a book, a documentary? A bit of Googling reveals it's a book, but that should be clearer to the reader. Do you have access to the book? It might be a very useful source for the article.
  • "After the Communist Party of Great Britain dissolved in 1991, Carter joined the Labour Party and ran as a council candidate for the Labour in Islington." Unsourced. Was he successful?

Spotchecks. Footnote numbers refer to this version.

  • FN 4 cites "He worked on another government educational reform white paper called the Swann Report, which he played a central role in creating as a researcher. For his work on the Swann Report, Carter was recommended to receive from the Queen the Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE/OBE) by the educational authority, however, Carter rejected the award. He rejected the award for several reasons, citing that Britain was no longer an Empire, that he was a communist, and that the Prime Minister did not value his work." The source doesn't mention the Swann Report as far as I can see, and the phrasing for his reasons for rejecting the MBE is a bit too close to the original (see WP:PARAPHRASE). You might just quote the line from this article instead: he rejected it because he was a "dyed-in-the-wool communist".
  • FN 5 cites "which were at the time happening in Malaya, Kenya, Ireland, Oman, and Cyprus. To help him avoid national service, leading British communist Palme Dutt arranged for Carter to instead travel to the Soviet Union and attend events in socialist countries." I don't have access to this source; can you quote the relevant lines?
  • FN 1 cites "This event was the precursor to the Notting Hill Carnival, which would become the second-largest annual carnival in the world. Carter supported the Notting Hill Carnival for the remainder of his life, and also served as a Trustee of the Notting Hill Carnival Trust." I don't see anything in the source about it being the second-largest. The source has "Trevor has supported the Notting Hill Carnival ever since then and served as a Trustee of the Notting Hill Carnival Trust." Again this is too close to the original phrasing.
  • FN 13 cites "Carter, along with many other veteran Caribbean communist activists, admired Claudia for her understanding of racial and class issues." Verified.
  • FN 5 cites "Hearing about Carter's work in the field of anti-colonial activism, the first Premier of British Guiana and current chief minister of Guyana, Cheddi Jagan, personally invited him to come to his country to help perform educational work." Can you quote the source for this?
  • FN 6 cites "Soon after arriving in Britain, Carter lived for several years with fellow Caribbean communist activist Billy Strachan, alongside Strachan's family." Can you quote the source here too?

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:38, 23 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The History Wizard of Cambridge, are you still planning to work on this? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:33, 30 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Dear Mike,
I apologise for the late reply. I've gone through your feedback and I will dedicate my entire night to addressing all the points you have brought up. I am extremely grateful for your help. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 18:53, 30 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
No hurry! So long as I know you're working on it that's fine. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 19:04, 30 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]


Dear Mike Christie, I've finished the latest changes for the Trevor Carter wiki in response to the feedback you have given. Below are some responded to your questions.

Source reliability

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  • "National Discourse on Carnival Arts" was written by Ansel Wong, whose wiki page shows a lengthy and impressive record in the study of Black-British history, and was recently appointed the chair of London's Black Cultural Archives.
  • angelacobbinah.wordpress.com, I am on the fence. I will remove it just to be safe.
  • lwbooks.co.uk/staying-power, is a blog but does belong to an academic publisher with a focus on British history.
    This is used to source "a group of black activists who were charged with inciting a riot, only to all be acquitted". I think it should be easy to find other sources for this -- the blog itself cites a book we could use, but I can probably find newspaper accounts that we could use instead if you don't have that book. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:10, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
To expedite things I have removed this blog article as a source and replaced it with an article by The Guardian which provides a short history of the Mangrove Nine. I have also ordered a copy of the book Shattering Illusions which the blog source cited. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 23:53, 2 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Sentences in the article body

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  • 'Several historians of British socialist movements have described Carter as "one of the Communist Party of Great Britain's (CPGB) most important black members" from the mid-1950s until 1991.' This is oddly phrased. I don't doubt the quote, but as written it sounds like we're saying several different historians have all used the exact same words to describe Carter. Or did you phrase it this way because the source has three authors?
    Yes, the reason I phrased it this way was because the book has three authors. The book doesn't make any distinction between which author wrote which sections, so I assume all authors gave their approval for this. I won't object if other editors want to remove this.
    How about making it "Carter has been described as ..."? That bypasses the awkward phrasing. And this is only in the lead; everything in the lead has to be in the body too, per WP:LEAD, so can you add this to the body at an appropriate place? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:30, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    I changed this to fit with your suggestion. It now says "Carter has been described as" instead of "Several historians of British socialist movements have described Carter as".The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 00:00, 3 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    That looks fine. We do need to mention this in the body, too, per WP:LEAD. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:42, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Done. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 23:36, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "from his arrival to Britain in 1954": "arrival in Britain" sounds more natural to me than "arrival to Britain".
    Agreed and changed.
  • "Sometime during his childhood, he met a girl called Corinne, whom he married later in life." This is unsourced.
    Citation added.
  • "At the age of 14, Carter left school and began working as a mess boy on a merchant ship, during which he travelled to New Orleans where he witnessed the brutality of segregation." I think this needs rephrasing. As written, "during which" refers to the merchant ship. Perhaps something like "At the age of 14, Carter left school and began working as a mess boy on a merchant ship, and during this time he travelled to New Orleans where he witnessed the brutality of segregation."
    Changed to the sentence that you suggested.
  • "The CPGB was able to gain close contacts with Caribbean communists such as Carter through its support of the Caribbean Labour Congress (CLC), an organisation described by the Labour Party and TUC as a "communist front".[10] The British branch of the CLC was founded in 1948 with the help of CPGB activists, who allowed the CLC to print their newspaper, Caribbean News, free of charge." This paragraph confuses me. We've just said that Carter joined the CPGB within days of arriving in the UK, so how did the CLC play a role in his case? And if it didn't, why are we mentioning it?
    I slightly reworded this sentence, but in short the CLC had contacts throughout the Caribbean, contacts which were then shared with the CPGB for recruitment of Caribbean activists. The CLC is physically active in the Caribbean whereas the CPGB to my knowledge was not. I believe the source says that Trevor was in contact with the CLC who then forwarded him to the CPGB. This was probably confusing to read because the CLC is not mentioned in the part of the wiki where Trevor's arrival to Britain is mentioned.
  • Link Claudia Jones on first mention, rather than later in the article. Similarly for Corinne Skinner Carter.
    Agreed and edited.
  • "where she was greeted by Carter and his wife Corinne (then fiancé)": suggest "where she was greeted by Carter and his fiancé (and later wife) Corinne".
    Agreed and changed to your suggestion.
  • "was imprisoned for her communist beliefs and her support for Black African-American civil rights": the article on Jones is more specific about particular essays she wrote that led to her imprisonment. Support for civil rights would certainly have been a red flag back in the 1950s, but I don't think we can use a generality like that here -- if it's relevant we should say what she did. Or perhaps bypass the issue by saying she was convicted under the Smith Act, with a link?
    I'm not 100% sure how to tackle this but I added a mention of the Smith Act and link to the wiki page. As for her communist and black civil rights activism, these two issues are so deeply intertwined in Claudia's actions that I don't see a way to seperate them.
    Yes, I didn't mean to imply those could be treated as independent. After reading some more background I'm going to strike this, but I'll just note that apparently her first imprisonment was under the McCarran Act, so you might want to remove the mention of the Smith Act since she was imprisoned twice, according to our article on her. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:30, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "She quickly became very close with the couple, with Corinne Skinner-Carter regularly doing Jone's hair": can we avoid using Corinne's married name until after we say she's married? If the dates here are uncertain, just swapping the order of the sentences could work.
    To be safe I am just going to remove the the mention of hair and the accompanying citation, which is a blog.
  • "but did not want to take part in Britain's colonial wars": this is certainly how Carter would have described them, but might not be considered neutral phrasing now. How about phrasing this so the description is clearly his, if the source will support that?
    Strongly disagree. The Malayan Emergency, Cyprus Emergency, and Mau Mau rebellion were all wars which national service conscripts were sent to fight in 1956 when Trevor was called for National Service. These were counterinsurgencies to put down anti-colonial rebellions in British colonies. Calling these conflicts colonial wars is appropriate.
    I was mostly concerned that "colonial war" would not currently be considered neutral phrasing, though I agree with you that it's accurate. I checked a couple of right-wing sources and found the phrase used without comment, so it appears the pro-Empire mindset has receded further than I was afraid it had. Struck. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:30, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In the aftermath of the 1959 racist murder of Kelso Cochrane". From what I read in our article on Kelso Cochrane's murder, it was never actually proved that it was racist, though it inflamed racial tensions. Can we make this something like "In the aftermath of the Notting Hill race riots, and the 1959 murder of Kelso Cochrane by white youths, which inflamed racial tensions"?
    Agreed and changed the wording.
  • "However, during his time in Guiana, the political situation became unstable, and a combination of both police repression and violence perpetrated by the People's National Congress and their attempts to destabilise the country." Not grammatical; not sure what you meant to say here. And why is this relevant? Is this why he left Guyana?
    Agreed and deleted superfluous information.
  • 'He worked with Jean Coussins to co-create Shattering Illusions: West Indians in British Politics (1986), "a social and political commentary on the interface between Caribbean migrants and British society and politics from the Post War period up until the early 1980s."' Is this an article, a book, a documentary? A bit of Googling reveals it's a book, but that should be clearer to the reader. Do you have access to the book? It might be a very useful source for the article.
    Changed "co-create" to "co-author" and made clear that this is a book. I will try to get a hold of a physical copy soon so that I can use it for citing more content in this wiki.
  • "After the Communist Party of Great Britain dissolved in 1991, Carter joined the Labour Party and ran as a council candidate for the Labour in Islington." Unsourced. Was he successful?
    Added citation.

Footnotes

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I've been editing the Trevor Carter wiki page while writing this so the footnotes no longer align so I will refer to the footnotes in this version, the one that you reviewed, this version

I have replaced the footnote with another that cites a source on his involvement with the Swann Report and his reasons for rejecting his award recommendation. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 00:07, 3 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN 5 - The full line from the source material reads:
    "In 1956, he was summoned to do his National Service but, not wanting to fight in Britain's colonial wars, he approached Idris Cox explaining this. Cox explained the Party's policy was to join up, so unhappy with this response, he spoke to his cousin, Claudia Jones who suggested he talk to Palme Dutt. The latter, after listening to him, ensured that Trevor Carter was sent abroad to attend events in the Soviet Union and the Socialist countries."
    The last dozen or so words of this are too close to the original phrasing, and this doesn't support the "leading British communist" or the list of countries. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:25, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I switched the wording, removed the word "leading" to describe Palme Dutt, and removed parts of the last sentence so that it does not sound too close to the original phrasing.The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 00:36, 3 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
OK for most of it, but we still do need a citation for the list of countries. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:47, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I removed the list of countries to expedite things. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 23:26, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I have changed the wording whenever Cheddi Jagan is mentioned to sound less personal. I also described Jagan as a "famous left-wing politician" instead of referring to his exact position in government.

Final thankyou It feels so good to strengthen my article like this. I worked so hard to create it and now I feel as though I've been able to strengthen it even further. Thankyou very much for your hard work in helping to build my article on Trevor Carter. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 21:25, 30 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! It's an interesting article. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:46, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to reformat what you've done above a bit -- there are a couple of norms that you're not familiar with as this is your first GA nomination to be reviewed, and rather than try to explain and have you change the format, I'm just going to make the layout change. The main thing is that typically the reviewer is the one who strikes each item, when they're satisfied the issue is fully addressed. That's because sometimes the reviewer and nominator might disagree, and it makes it a lot easier to see what's still outstanding if the reviewer is the one who does the striking. Second, it's most common to do threading in reply to the list of points raised by the reviewer. You can see an example Talk:Pachysentis/GA1. Threading uses the bullets and colons for indenting that I see you're already familiar with; for additional indenting one adds a colon or asterisk to the end of the previous indent.

I'll reformat and unstrike, then go back through and will restrike everything that's fixed (which does look like most things) and will then reread. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:46, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Update: I've responded to everything above. Once the spotcheck issues are addressed I'll reread and see if I can find anything else to comment on. I will also have to do another spotcheck; the article can't be promoted unless the spotcheck comes back clean, and the source has to fully support everything in the text it cites -- you can see that from the sort of things I've highlit in the replies above. You might want to do a quick pass through the article making sure there are no other sentences that are not fully cited -- I'd hate to fail this article, which is close to getting over the line. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:37, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Next steps - new books ordered - providing photographs
Cheers @Mike Christie for reformatting the above sections. I've been an active Wikipedia user for 3 years but have only recently begun exploring options such as GA nominations, peer reviews, and Wikiprojects. I've booked a day trip to the Bodleian Library to view a copy of Trevor Carter's book Shattering Illusions along with a copy of a professional review of this book. If you agree that it may increase my article's quality, I may book a trip to London next week to take a photograph of his memorial bench and release it into the public domain. I'll now get back to work on the above sections.The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 22:33, 2 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The History Wizard of Cambridge, a photo of the bench would be nice to have, but the article can certainly be promoted without it, so you might want to wait till you have some other reason to visit London. You might also try posting a request at WT:LONDON; I don't know how active that project is but there might be someone there who lives near the bench. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:46, 4 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Alright good to know. Shattering Illusions arrives soon but in the meantime, by complete coincidence, I found Trevor had written an entire chapter of a Marxist booklet on education and racism, and a 40 minute long interview for his appearance in a documentary called Paul Robeson: Here I Stand. Once you are satisfied with the Trevor Carter wiki page, I would like to sprinkle in a few academic sources I found on google books.The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 15:10, 4 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Is there any reason not to add the material from the academic sources now? I might as well include that in what I review. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:25, 4 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I thought it would just make it easier to review but I can add them tonight if that's not an issue. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 15:39, 4 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Go ahead -- I'd rather review the article in as complete a form as you think it can be. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:34, 4 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Hey @Mike Christie, I believe I have finished. Just completed the final spelling and grammar check after pumping in some fresh citations of works I found on google books. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 18:29, 4 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I've struck a few things; there are a couple of minor points left. I'll read through again, probably tomorrow, and will do another spotcheck. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:52, 5 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Second spotchecks

[edit]

Footnote numbers now refer to this version.

  • FN 27 cites 'and was described as an "insightful analysis of African-Caribbeans in Britain since the 1950s" by Professor Ellis Cashmore.' Verified.
  • FN 19 cites "Sometime during the 1970s, Carter was involved in the campaign to free the Mangrove Nine". The source indicates Carter worked at the Mangrove Centre, but I don't see evidence that he was part of the campaign.
I must have misread the source. I reworded the body to better reflect what is said in the source. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 15:32, 6 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN 4 cites "During his work for the CPGB and YCL, Carter first travelled to Moscow and then to Cuba where he met Fidel Castro." Verified, but I would avoid saying Moscow was first -- the source doesn't say that; it just lists Moscow first which could be for prose reasons.
Tweaked the wording slightly so that it does not state which country he visited first. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 15:32, 6 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN 23 cites "While not wholeheartedly agreeing with the entirety of the Swann Report, Carter considered the report as constructive." Verified.
  • FN 4 cites "He also gave voluntary assistance to War on Want." Verified; I would suggest changing the wording to "volunteered for" per WP:PARAPHRASE.
I've adopted your suggestion.The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 15:32, 6 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN 28 cites "In 1987 Carter was elected to the central committee of the CPGB at the 40th Congress of the party." Verified.
  • FN 5 cites "Completing his courses, he enrolled at the University of North London (then Polytechnic of North London) in 1968." Verified.

A couple of tweaks needed above. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:27, 6 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I've just changed the suggested tweaks. The History Wizard of Cambridge (talk) 15:32, 6 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
All good. Since there were a couple of minor issues on this spotcheck, I looked at a couple more, and found no issues. Passing; congratulations! Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:44, 6 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
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