Talk:Travis Tritt/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cavie78 (talk) 00:26, 1 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi TenPoundHammer, I've had a read through the article and, while I think you have done a reasonable job, I'm afraid I'm going to have to fail this time. I hope this isn't too disheartening and that you are able to address the concerns I've left below and ultimately gain GA status, but I think there's simply too much to do at the minute to justify placing on hold. Best wishes Cavie78 (talk) 19:50, 2 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): (MoS):
Lots of problems with the prose are detailed below. The lead needs rewriting to sum up the main points of the article.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): (citations to reliable sources): (OR):
Sources look good, no original research.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): (focused):
The main body of the article discusses releases, chart positions and little else beyond the ocassional very brief mention of a tour or TV appearence. Some unnecessary information appears in the article - every single release is discussed with chart positions where a summary of the performance of singles for a particular album might be better.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
No coverage of any negative press Tritt may have received.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): (appropriate use with suitable captions):
I'm slightly concerned that the image used is actually a screenshot rather than a free image (see below)
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Major problems

The lead needs a rewrite so that it adequately summarises the complete content of the article per WP:LEAD.
You talk about "the charts" throughout the article but it is never clear which charts you are refering to - US charts? A specific Billboard chart?
The vast majority of the 'Musical career' section is simply a list of releases, chart positions and awards Tritt has won with occasional very brief mentions of tours and TV appearences. See FAs such as Elliott Smith, Kate Bush and Bob Dylan and/or GAs such as Bert Jansch and Noel Gallagher for the kind of additional information that should appear here.
Lots of unnecessary detail. This isn't a discography - you don't need to cover every single release and chart position.
You have occasional snippets of reviews which seem to give undue weight to particular reviewers/publications. If you are going to talk about reception to Tritt's work you should give an overview of opinion (but remember this is an article about Tritt not specific albums)
There is no discussion of any criticism Tritt may have received.
The 'Personal life' section only discusses his marriages and the names of his children - is there really nothing else? Any charity work? Any interests outside music? Any controversies? What about his apparent Christian faith which is hinted at in the article?
As a word of warning for future reviewers - the photo of Tritt that is used looks suspicously like a screenshot from a concert film despite the claims on the file page that is was taken by a Wikipedia editor.
There are numerous problems with the prose. I've listed as many as I could below but I'd suggest running the article by the Guild of Copy Editors once you've addressed my specific concerns.

Lead

"...and a greatest hits package for the label between then and 1999." "between then" sounds awkward, would suggest rephrasing the sentence to "...and a greatest hits package, before leaving the label in 1999.
"...on Columbia Records Nashville..." The body of the article states "Columbia Records" and, according to the Wiki article on the label Columbia Nashville wasn't formed until 2007 by which time Tritt had signed with Category 5 Records.
"Seven of his albums (counting the Greatest Hits) are certified platinum or higher by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA); the highest-certified is 1991's It's All About to Change, which is certified triple-platinum." The word "certified" appears three times in quick succession here - would suggest changing. Is it necessary to say "counting the Greatest Hits"? "counting" isn't very encyclopaedic, should be "including" or similar.
"...the Hot Country Songs charts" You should state that this is a chart in the United States.
"He has received two Grammy Awards, both awards..." "awards" appears twice here - should be rephrased.

Early life

Could you add more dates? The only years specified are 1963 and 1987.
"He first took interest in singing after his church's Sunday school choir performed "Everything Is Beautiful." -> He first took an interest in singing after his church's Sunday school choir performed the song "Everything Is Beautiful."
"He received his first guitar..." This sounds a bit odd - presumably his parents bought him it?
"...and later got invited to play for other classrooms in his school." Should be "and was later invited" Is classrooms the right word? Do you means classes? It sounds like he was sent to empty rooms!
"...and he learned more songs from his uncle..." -> "and he learned to play more songs from his uncle" assuming this is what you mean.
"He worked at an air conditioning company while playing in clubs, but gave up the air conditioning job at the suggestion of one of his bandmates." No need to say "air conditioning" twice. Why did his bandmates suggest he left? So he could concentrate on the band? What band are you talking about, the bluegrass band?
You need to say something about Tritt deciding to try to make a career out of music. The article goes from him winning a talent contest at school, to him playing some club gigs then, all of a sudden, to his parents worrying about him and him recording a demo for Warner.
Link demo album to Demo (music)
How did Tritt meet Danny Davenport? Why was Davenport interested in working with him?
"The two worked together for the next several years..." -> The two worked together for ~~the next~~ several years
"At first, Kragen was "not interested in taking an entry-level act," but he decided to sign on as Tritt's manager after Kragen's wife convinced him." This sounds odd, would suggest changing to something like "At first Kragen stated that he was "not interested in taking an entry-level act", but, after his wife convinced him, eventually decided to sign on as Tritt's manager."
The best section in the article - probably worth remembering when you're looking at 'Musical career'

1989 – 1991: Country Club

"...meaning that he was signed to record six songs, and three of them would be released as singles." -> "meaning that he was signed to record six songs, three of which would be released as singles."
"According to the contract, he would not be signed on for a full album unless one of the three singles became a hit." You then go on to say that his first single was a hit and talk about and album - you should probably rewrite this bit of the section to make it clearer that the success of "Country Club" resulted in Tritt getting an album deal.
"Second single "Help Me Hold On" became his first number one single in 1990. The album's third and fifth singles, "I'm Gonna Be Somebody" and "Drift Off to Dream," respectively peaked at numbers two and three on the Hot Country Singles & Tracks charts, and number one on the Canadian RPM country charts; "I'm Gonna Be Somebody" also went to number one on the U.S. country singles charts published by Radio & Records. "Put Some Drive in Your Country," which was released fourth, peaked at 28 on Hot Country Songs." This is very confusing - why don't you talk about the songs in the order they were released?

1991 – 1992: It's All About to Change

"The album went on to become his best-selling, with a triple-platinum certification from the RIAA for shipments of three million copies." -> "The album, which was certified triple-platinum by the RIAA for shipments of three million copies, became Tritt's best sellnig record."
Not as bad as the previous section but I still think you should discuss the singles in the order they were release.
""Nothing Short of Dying" was the fourth single, with a peak at number four on Billboard..." -> ""Nothing Short of Dying", the album's fourth single, peaked at number four on the Billboard chart..."
"This song was inspired by a youth pastor..." Which song? "Bible Belt" or "Nothing Short of Dying"?
"Stuart offered "The Whiskey Ain't Workin' Anymore"..." You need to be more explicit about the fact that Stuart wrote the song.
"at the CMA awards show" What year?
"...they recorded it as a duet through Gregg Brown's suggestion." -> "...they recorded it as a duet after a suggestion from Gregg Brown." Who is Gregg Brown?
"Tritt and Stuart charted a second duet..." -> "Tritt and Stuart released a second duet, "This One's Gonna Hurt You (For a Long, Long Time)," which went to number seven on the [chart name]"
"This song won..." -> "The song won..."

1992 – 1993: T-R-O-U-B-L-E and A Travis Tritt Christmas

"Tritt and Stuart began a "No Hats Tour" in 1992." Where did the pair tour? The US? You should say that they started a tour which was titled the "No Hats Tour" - your version sounds like they started a tour where they didn't wear hats.
"...a song written by Kostas" -> "...a song written by country music songwriter Kostas"
"followed too closely the formula of It's All About to Change" -> "followed the formula of It's All About to Change too closely"
"Nash gave the album a similar criticism..." Who is Nash? Should be "[Nash] agreed but..."
"which won all artists involved the next year's CMA Vocal Event of the Year award" -> "which won all artists involved the CMA Event of the Year award at the 1994 CMA Music Awards"

1994 – 1995: Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof and Greatest Hits

"...Tritt requested that the band, which was on hiatus at the time, appear in it." You should say the Eagles here for clarity.
"His fourth album..." -> "Tritt's fourth album..."
Again the section is confusing because the singles aren't presented in the order they were released.
"It included two co-writes..." It? The album?
"comparing "Foolish Pride" favorably to "Anymore"" What is "Anymore"?

1996 – 1997: The Restless Kind

"Tritt and Stuart charted a third duet" -> "Tritt and Marty Stuart released a third duet"

1998 – 1999: No More Looking over My Shoulder

"By year's end..." -> "By the end of the year..."
Why did Tritt leave Warner?

2002 – 2005: Strong Enough and My Honky Tonk History

Why did Tritt leave Columbia?

2007 – 2010: The Storm and beyond

Why does the section end in 2010?
What has Tritt been doing since 2008?

Acting career

Why has Tritt worked as an actor?
Why was he involved in these films in particular?
"Tritt's first acting roles that would lead to feature-film work was a role..." -> "Tritt's first acting role was..."
"In September 2010, filming began on a movie called Fishers of Men, a Christian film in which Tritt will star." Tritt has strong enough religious beliefs to appear in a Christian film but this is the only mention of his faith in the whole article other than the 'Early life' section which states that he attended church as a boy.

Musical styles

"...despite their low peaks..." -> "...despite their low placings on the [name of charts]..."