Talk:Tove Lo/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 03:11, 12 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 03:11, 12 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

I would recommend adding ALT text to the infobox image.
For this sentence (After it disbanded, the artist pursued a career in songwriting and earned a publishing deal with Warner/Chappell Music in 2011.), I would use “Lo” rather than “the artist” as the current wording sounds a little strange to me.
For this part (she became a successful songwriter recording and released her own compositions independently.), please add a comma after “songwriter”.
I have two comments for this sentence (Lo is an alumna of the musical magnet music school Rytmus Musikergymnasiet.). First, you say “musical” and “music school” so it is a little redundant. Second, the article on a magnet school only references the U.S. education system. I would just say “music school” as you have done in the “Early life” section.
I have two comments for these two sentences (In 2014, Lo was signed to Max Martin's Wolf Cousins and offered a recording deal. She signed to Island US and Polydor.). 1) the sentences are rather choppy and I would look for a way to make the flow better and 2) I would avoid having “signed” twice in such close proximity. I
I do not believe that the citations for this sentence (Her third album, Blue Lips, was released in November 2017, peaking at number 138 on the Billboard 200.) are needed as it should be presented and referenced in the body of the article.
I have two comments for this sentence (In addition to her solo work, Lo has co-written a number of songs for other singers including). 1) I would cut “a number of songs” to “songs” to be more concise and 2) I would use “artists” instead of singers” as something about having “songs” and “singers” in the same sentence seems too repetitive to me.

Early life

I could not find any issues with this section.

Career beginnings and collaborations

I think you can paraphrase the "a few years” quote.
For this part (After Tremblebee broke up, Lo's musical focus turned toward pop. She decided to focus on her own tracks), I would avoid using “focus” twice in such close proximity.
For this sentence (Throughout 2013 Max Martin and his fellow Swedish producer Shellback mentored Lo), add a comma after “2013”.

Truth Serum and Queen of the Clouds

For the audio caption, I would clarify why it is included in this section/article. I am not really seeing how it is necessary here.

I would also clarify this point. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 14 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: I stated on the caption that it was Lo's first hit single, but I don't know if that's okay. If not, I will remove it. --Paparazzzi (talk) 02:41, 15 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I have always been advised to keep non-free media use to a minimal. Unless you could include information in the audio caption on how the song represents Lo's sound/musical style during that time period, it does not seem really necessary to me. Hope this makes sense. Aoba47 (talk) 02:45, 15 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: I have removed the sample.--Paparazzzi (talk) 04:39, 15 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (The material spawned three singles; "Out of Mind", the lead single), I am not sure “The material” is the right phrasing in relation to “The EP”. I would just say “It” instead.
I would make the portion in the first paragraph about Queen of the Clouds into its own paragraph.
You use both “U.S.” and “US” in the article. Please be consistent with either one or the other.
For this part (a repackaged version of Queen of the Clouds was released as the "Blueprint Edition”.), unlink “Queen of the Clouds” as you have already linked it in a previous sentence.

Please add ALT text for the image.
For the image caption, remove the period at the end of the sentence as it is not a complete sentence.

Collaborations, Lady Wood and Blue Lips

Please add ALT text for the image.
For the image caption, remove the period at the end of the sentence as it is not a complete sentence.
There is an odd spacing between the references for this sentence (In New Zealand and Sweden it also made the top 30 where it was certified Gold.).
Do you think you should mention Lo’s collaboration with Charli XCX on "Out of My Head”?

Musical style

For the audio caption, I do not believe that “light” needs to be capitalized.
I believe that the audio caption would require a citation with a critic explicitly saying that “Timebomb” is an example of this; otherwise, this may count as original research. I think that it is good to have an audio file here though. Comment: See below
I could not find the source for the “light” part of the (light lyric soprano vocal range) part. I am probably missing it though. And The Reading Eagle source describes Lo as having an alto voice.

Comment: @Aoba47: I'm having problems with this. Renowned For Sound (ref 108) describes her as a Light Lyric Soprano, Austin Chronicle and The National describes her as a soprano, while The Reading Eagle describes her as an Alto. If we stick with the Light Lyric soprano, we can use "Cool Girl" as the audio sample, but if we use the sources where she is described as a Soprano, we can use "Talking Body" as the audio sample. But I might need your opinion here. Maybe we should describe her as a soprano (more sources describing her as such), but I want to know what you think.

I would probably go with soprano if more sources describe her as such, but I would also look at the quality of the sources as well. You could also mention in the prose that some sources call her a soprano while others call her an alto (but that is up to you). I would just make sure that the usage of the audio sample is cited (i.e. having a critic make the comparison that the song is an example of her vocal range). Hope this makes sense. Once this is corrected, I will be more than happy to pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 19:10, 14 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: I stated in the article that she is a soprano, and included the new sample (with the source supporting it). --Paparazzzi (talk) 04:39, 15 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Songwriting

For this part (Lo's debut EP, Truth Serum, documents one of her failed relationships in the order it took place.), the references should be in sequentially order. I would also check the entire article for this. Done

Influences

For this part (Lo grew up idolising Courtney Love, inspired by grunge culture and the polarising lyrics of her music and her band, Hole.), I would revise the final part to (idolising Courtney Love and was inspired by…) as the final part could be read as attached to Love as opposed to Lo.

Personal life and public image

I am not really a fan of the image as you have already used one from the same event in a previous section. How about swapping it out for File:Tove Lo Melt! 2015 01.jpg?
For this part (In an interview with Attitude magazine in January 2017), Attitude should be italicized. *Remove the wikilink in this part (is based on the lyrics of her EP, Truth Serum.).

Discography

Looks good.

Awards and nominations

Unlink Grammis in this part (She has earned four Grammis awards in her).
I would unlink any awards that you have already linked in previous sections. Linking in the table itself is fine.

Tours

Not complaints here. Maybe one day a separate list for Lo’s live performances can be made.

Final comments

Wonderful work with this article. It is a very fascinating read. It definitely inspires me to listen to more of her music. I have only listened to “Habits” (which I love). Once my comments are addressed, I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 00:40, 14 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Thank you so much for the review! I have addressed all of your comments, except for one that is listed above. Regards, and have a nice day! --Paparazzzi (talk) 17:25, 14 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: I have addressed all of your comments now. Thank you so much for your review, now the article looks better! Regards, and have a nice day! --Paparazzzi (talk) 05:36, 15 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Verdict

Wonderful work with the article! I will ✓ Pass this. Have a great rest of your day and/or night! Aoba47 (talk) 19:09, 15 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.