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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 19:10, 5 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]


I will review this. ceranthor 19:10, 5 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Prose
  • "Toussidé is one of the volcanoes that make up the Tibesti Mountains, and in its neighbourhood lie the large Yirrigué caldera and the smaller Trou au Natron and Doon Kidimi craters." - awkward phrasing
  • "Toussidé is the source of a number of lava flows, which have flowed westward away from Toussidé and east into the Yirrigué caldera." - repeating "Toussidé" twice in close proximity
  • "Trou au Natron, the depression southeast of the volcano measures approximately 8 by 6 kilometres (5.0 mi × 3.7 mi) diameter" - should be "in" diameter
  • "Trou au Natron, the depression southeast" - why "the" and not "a" depression?
  • ""Toussidé" translates as "Which killed the local people (Tou) with fire".[5]" - any details on what language?
  • " The Tibesti mountains reach elevations of 3 kilometres (1.9 mi) and are surrounded by the Sahara.[8]" - aren't elevations typically always in feet?
  • Should mention that it's a stratovolcano in the lead
  • "Toussidé is a symmetrical[12] stratovolcano,[7] with 3,265 metres (10,712 ft) height the second highest peak in Tibesti[4] and the highest peak in the western Tibesti mountains.[13] " - "with" is not grammatically correct; "at" might work better but I think the second half needs to be reworded
  • "In the past it was considered to be lower, only 2,500 metres (8,200 ft).[14]" - by whom? and for what reason(s)?
  • "has a white and a black half;[17] " - one of each? Not clear
  • "These flows descended valleys towards the west[19]" - should be descended "into" valleys
  • "including bubbly, glassy and porphyric textures" - any links for these? I know porphyritic definitely has a page
  • "Toussidé itself lies in part within an even larger caldera, the 14 by 13 kilometres (8.7 mi × 8.1 mi)" - need an adj=on parameter
  • "and eruption products from more recent explosion craters,[23] " - any specific names known?
  • "Southeast of Toussidé lies the 8 by 6 kilometres (5.0 mi × 3.7 mi) wide caldera Trou au Natron (also known as Doon[20] or Doon Orei[29]),[4] whose rim" - is "whose" proper here?
  • " 75 metres (246 ft) high Moussosomi," - |adj=on
  • "Another 1,500 metres (4,900 ft) wide and 300 metres (980 ft) deep crater," - |adj=on
  • " it is among the freshest volcanic features in the region." - does this mean newest? Freshest doesn't make much sense IMO
  • "Aside from a lake level drop between 14,900 - 14,600 years before present[35])," - is there supposed to be a parenthetical here?
  • "the lake persisted[36] " - Don't think "persisted" works because it implies agency
  • "and its waters were fresh.[39] " - this doesn't make sense; should just say plainly that it was a freshwater lake and reword
  • "The Tibesti mountains are part of a volcanic province that reaches from Libya into Chad and which in total covers a surface area of about 100,000 square kilometres (39,000 sq mi).[41] " - I'd cut out "which" and "in total" and add a "total" before "surface area" instead
  • "which define a subalkaline/[16]hyperalkaline suite.[21] " - perhaps like to Calc-alkaline magma series?
  • " including the 430,000 ± 110,000 years old Yirrigué ignimbrite." - should be "year old" not "years" plural
  • Prose needs some work overall. These are just from a first pass.
  • Working through duplicate links. Suggest downloading this tool to avoid this in the future.
Got this, mostly.
  • "the depression" because Trou au Natron is mentioned earlier.
  • Holding on the etymology and "why was it considered smaller" questions as I need to re-ask for source access. In general this volcano was just a nightmare to collect sufficient sources for.
  • For such inexact "relative height" data I usually go for kilometres as it visualizes the height more.
  • According to the source, the lava flows descended the slopes along the valleys, not into the valleys; they were pathways not stop points.
  • Regarding the "More recent craters" it's implied but not explicitly stated in the source that Trou au Natron and Doon Kidimi are these craters.
  • I think "whose" is clear that it refers to "Trou au Natron"?
  • No; calc-alkaline is a different magma suite.
  • I see you got the duplicate links.
Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:04, 6 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Got the two sources. There is no information on the language of the volcano's name apparently. Added more context on the height. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:07, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • Earwig's tool checks out.
  • Mostly seem reliable.
  • What makes peaklist reliable?
  • What makes peakbagger reliable? I have avoided it in the past.
  • "Le volcanisme ignimbritique du Tibesti Occidental (Sahara tchadien). Essai d'interprétation dynamique". Bulletin Volcanologique (in French). 26 (1): 268. " - any English translation for this title?
  • "Poli, Emilia (1974). "Vegetationsgrenzen In Vulkangebieten". Tatsachen und Probleme der Grenzen in der Vegetation (in German)." - same as above?
  • "DUCHÉ, Grégoire; PICARD, Marie (2010). "Aperçu sur la Taxonomie, l'Ecologie et la phylogénie du genre Erodium dans le bassin méditerranéen". Tela Botanica (in French): 13. Retrieved 2018-04-13." - same as above; also, why are the last names capitalized?
  • Same with ref 50 - why the all caps?
  • Some of the other sources also need their titles translated into English.
Yanked Peaklist, that's something I usually don't use as source and can't think of a reason why I left it in. Same for Peakbagger. Got the others. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 21:04, 6 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Images
  • Check out.

More comments once these are fixed. ceranthor 18:49, 6 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Ceranthor Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:07, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Running through and copyediting.
  • Still see German sources that have not had their titles translated to English.
  • Will post further prose comments if I have them.

ceranthor 13:28, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

More Prose Notes
  • "including bubbly, glassy and porphyric textures,[14] which are very fresh and free of erosion.[11] The surface of the flows is rough and can be a problem to climbers.[16][19]" - how can they be fresh and rough?
    Fresh in the sense of their surface being pristine rather than degraded by erosion. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 14:54, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Toussidé is located on its western side,[1] " - would restate that "it" refers to the larger crater; replace "its" with "the larger crater's" or something similar
    Done, but this was about Yirrigué. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 14:54, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "whose rim reaches heights of 700–1,000 metres (2,300–3,300 ft), cut into sequences of lavas[21] and older volcanic cones.[28" - the last bit, "cut into..." makes this a bit of a run-on and isn't clear in what it's describing
    Mended. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 14:54, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Cones are also located outside of the Trou au Natron and their eruption products have in part flowed into the crater.[29]" - I'd put a comma before "and their"; ultimately a nitpick though
  • "Fed by meltwater from snow, such a lake persisted for several thousands of years" - "such a" sounds pretentious; maybe replace with "this" lake
  • "Aside from a lake level drop between 14,900 - 14,600 years" - if you keep it as a range, it should be an endash, not a hyphen
​Got this all. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 14:54, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise, prose looks better. ceranthor 13:34, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Great, passing now. ceranthor 14:55, 7 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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