Talk:Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1 + 2/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:46, 8 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

The "n.a."s in the File:Tony Hawk Pro Skater Remaster cover art.png need to be fixed, leaving them as they are is not adequate for fair use.
"by Activision, released " split this massive sentence here.
" and for Nintendo Switch in 2021" -> "later in 2021"
Aim to move those references out of the lead, everything in the lead should be in the main part of the article (expanded too) so can be referenced there.
" since Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (2015). This is noted to be " -> " since Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 (2015) and was "
"fastest selling game" fastest-selling.
"selling 1 million copies within the first two weeks." one million. Any chance of using a different word so we're not repeating "selling" in the same sentence?
None of the people in the infobox are mentioned or referenced in the prose.
"game is a skateboarding video game" -> "game is a ... game" is poor writing.
"The game is a skateboarding video game.." whole para is unreferenced.
- Not done, as the section links to the main article on gameplay and it wasn't referenced in THPS5 either.
  - Then my mistake. Other stuff exists. Wikipedia is not a reliable source, so it needs sourcing here, and likewise in the THPS5 article. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 18:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    - Used the Gamespot article as a source, it contains a very intricrate account of the game's controls. I could also cite the tutorial, as it explains absolutlely everything, but I wanted to avoid using the game as a source or using five different ones.--DasallmächtigeJ (talk) 22:13, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Apply the text change suggestions I made in the THPS5 review here.
"is just a remaster " remove "just", and link the "remaster" as I did in the THPS5 article.
"reverts, spine transfers, wall plants" what are they?
"a total of " no need.
"skateboarders; some" comma not semi-colon.
Don't use just bold or italics to denote something, symbols as well/instead of for MOS:ACCESS.
"Leticia Bufoni" missing a diacritic.
"Activision announced " overlinked.
"using Unreal Engine 4, who previously..." the "who previously" applies to Vicarious Visions, not Unreal Engine 4.
"handling code and layered on the code to modernize the handling" repetitive and jarring prose.
Oneal isn't mentioned in ref 10.
" Instagram, YouTube among" Instagram and YouTube, among...
" 2003's Tony Hawk's Underground and" overlinked.
If "NAVGTR Awards" are not notable enough for an article, why should they be included in this list?
- I honestly don't know why they don't have an own article, it is actually one of the most relevant awards and has been aound for years. And most other VG articles feature them as accolades, maybe I'll tackle that in the near future.
  - Redlink it then. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 18:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Note b is unreferenced.
- The reference is in the text the note refers to, but I can reference it twice if you want me to.
  - Yes please. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 18:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
In refs, spaced hyphens should be en-dashes.
Sometimes the publisher/website is linked, sometimes not, use a consistent approach.

A few things to fix here, so it's on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 13:06, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man I should have adressed all of your concerns except when noted otherwise.--DasallmächtigeJ (talk) 17:33, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

DasallmächtigeJ replied inline above. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 18:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man Fixed it.--DasallmächtigeJ (talk) 22:13, 10 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

What's "f.e." after Sports Illustrated? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 13:18, 11 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed that as well! DasallmächtigeJ (talk) 13:42, 11 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Cool, happy with that so promoting. Good stuff. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 13:51, 11 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]