Talk:Tommy James (American football)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 18:11, 19 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Just want to say thanks for picking this up and that I'm here and ready to address any issues and answer any queries. --Batard0 (talk) 18:30, 19 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"1950s. James was born" -> "1950s. He was born"
- Done. --Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" he starred as a back" not sure on the neutrality of saying "starred".
- Changed to "played." --Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"he followed Brown to Ohio State, where he played as" second "he", strictly speaking it's unclear whether it's James or Brown you're referring to here.
- Rephrased to eliminate the second use of "he." --Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"He went to grammar" He attended?
- Fixed.--Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Consider linking grammar school.
- Linked.--Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Consider linking touchdown. I know it's obvious to you but it's not obvious to all international readers.
- Linked.--Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I would expect win-loss to use an en-dash, just like the record itself does!
- Done.--Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"James had an interception" do you mean he "made" one or "suffered" one?
- Made one. Changed. --Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"as he got older" not keen on this phrase, perhaps "as an older player" or something?
- Put in "later in his career". --Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
What does "on waivers" mean?
- It means you allow other teams to employ him on the same contractual terms as you signed him on. If a player "clears waivers" it means no team wanted to pick up the contract, and at that point he's free to make a new contract with any team. I linked it and briefly described it. --Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 17 title could use an en-dash.
- Fixed. --Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 17:17, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Just the comments above to be addressed regarding prose improvement.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

A few minor prose issues, otherwise no problems here, I'll place it on hold for a week until I'm notified that the article has been updated. Cheers. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:17, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

All issues above are addressed, I believe, but I'm happy to make any additional adjustments. Thanks, and this certainly makes the article better. --Batard0 (talk) 19:04, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]