Talk:Tom Farquharson/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:23, 13 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Six out of seven sentences in first two paras of lead start with "He..." could be mixed up a little, perhaps reiterate Farquharson a couple of times?

Added two uses of Farquharson. Kosack (talk) 08:17, 19 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I'd be strongly tempted to link wanted poster. - Done
"side Cardiff City in 1922. He made his professional debut in May of the same year" -> "side Cardiff City in 1922 for whom he made his professional debut that May." - Done
"In 1931, he caused controversy by rejecting a call up to instead play for the Irish Free State side. He won a further four caps for the Free State, winning his last in 1931" 1931 and 1931? Should the first one be 1929 (like the infobox)?

No, the IFA tried to call him up again in 1931 after he had been playing for the FAI for the previous few years. Kosack (talk) 08:17, 19 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, still reads weird have those two sentences both saying "in 1931".... The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 08:26, 19 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I've reworded this to be a bit less clunky hopefully. Kosack (talk) 12:13, 19 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"gained enough income" -> "earned enough" - Done
" Golden Acre.[5][4] " order. - Done
"Farquharson was educated.." Tom. - Done
"Annually later folded in 1919 after " no need for "later". - Done
"The pair were..." probably need to redefine which pair you're talking about...- Done
"in Blackwood, Caerphilly in" comma after Caerphilly. - Done
"The following season, Ben Davies remained..." could link "following season" for consistency. - Done
"nearly ever present" either you are or you're not... - Reworded
"on goal average." error in pipe. - Fixed
" penalty kicks.[6][4] " order. - Done
"In the final of the competition" link to specific FA Cup final article. - Done
"to the church" which one?

The source I have simply says "the church", I'm guessing it was as a whole rather than a specific place. Kosack (talk) 12:13, 19 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"to win the Cup and keep" not capital C here. - Done
"as "Without doubt" de-cap the W. - Done
Ref 17 gives a "page not found"... perhaps run a 'bot to get the archive links in if possible? - Done
"played 4 times" four. - Done
"The match was regarded as an unofficial match" -> "The match was regarded as unofficial" - Done
"he played against Belgium again, helping them to a 3–1 away win" reads like he helped Belgium! - Done
"I will go so far as to say that the Irish Football Association usurped the name of Ireland by calling the side they have selected "Ireland".[4] - incomplete quote mark pairing. - Done
"he went on to make a great save" journalistic and POV. - Done
"rumored" -> "rumoured" per BritEng.
" in Heath, Cardiff before" comma after Cardiff. - Done
Don't pipe " Masters athletics " to a redirect back to itself. - Done
"Christmas Eve, 1970.[" I would just stick with 24 December. - Done
"Leinster Minor Cup: Finalist 19xx" xx?

This was already included when I started editing, guessing an editor added it as we don't know the actual year they won. Removed it. Kosack (talk) 12:13, 19 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

As usual nice work, a few things to address above, so on hold for now. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 20:24, 18 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks @The Rambling Man:, I think I've addressed everything here. Let me know what you think. Kosack (talk) 12:13, 19 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Yup, all good as far as I can see. On a second read, the word "internationalist" stood out a bit, are we sure that's the right word here? I'm going to pass the nomination but would value your input on that final point either way. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 14:40, 19 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]