Talk:To Ramona/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:53, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will crack on with this now! --K. Peake 08:53, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

Change Columbia Recording Studios to Columbia Recording under the studios parameter in the infobox
Pipe Tom Wilson to Tom Wilson (record producer)
"which was released on his fourth studio album" → "first released on his fourth studio album,"
Add a sentence with notable info about writing from the first section
Move the recording sentence to being the one before lyrical content
Mention next to the critics suggested part that the narrator advises Ramona not to follow others' advice
Pipe Sara Lownds to Sara Dylan
"for Another Side of Bob Dylan," → "for the album,"
Remove the album release in August since that is not notable
"have ranked the song as" → "have ranked it as"
Pipe B-side to A-side and B-side
"Belgium and Luxembourg in 1967, and has been" → "Belgium, and Luxembourg in 1967, and has since been"
Mention what the several live versions include

All done. I mentioned two of the several live versions in the lead. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:29, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Background and recording

"The "To Ramona" lyrics were" → "The lyrics of "To Ramona" were"
Wikilink as the May Fair Hotel instead
Add a comma after "All I Really Want to Do"
"On June 9 at" → "On June 9, 1964, at" per this being a new para
Remove the comma before Another Side of Bob Dylan
Pipe Tom Wilson to Tom Wilson (record producer), while mentioning that he was the producer of all the tracks
"as the sixth track, the last" → "as the sixth track and the last"
Remove the release year of "The Last Letter" from brackets when it is already mentioned in prose

All Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:45, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lyrical interpretation

Maybe add relevant text to the img of Suze Rotolo?
"The song ends with" → "It ends with"
[8] should solely be invoked at the end of the sentence
"argue that the song may indeed refer to Baez," → "argue that Dylan may indeed refer to her,"
"Oliver Trager and" → "Oliver Trager, and"
Pipe Sara Lownds to Sara Dylan
"John Nogowski saw it" → "John Nogowski sees it"
"Jim Beviglia wrote that the track" → "Jim Beviglia writes that the track"
"as the narrator expresses" → "as they express"

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:12, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

Retitle to Reception per the rankings
"Heylin described the track as" → "Heylin describes the track as"
"words or advice."" → "words or advice"." per MOS:QWQ
"Trager praised the" → "Trager praises the"

Amended per the four points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:59, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

"but added that "Dylan fumbles" → "but added how "Dylan fumbles"

Reworked per WP:QUOTEFARM comment below. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:59, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

"and described it as" → "and describes it as"
"has ever written."" → "has ever written"."
Wikilink Rolling Stone
"remarked of "To Ramona" and" → "remarks of "To Ramona" and"

Amended per the four points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:59, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Cut down the amount of direct quoting for the above per WP:QUOTEFARM

I made some amendments. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:59, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances and later releases

Make the releases para the last of this section instead
Pipe B-side to A-side and B-side
"Belgium and Luxembourg" → "Belgium, and Luxembourg"
Wikilink compilation album
"Dylan's older songs "re-envisioned almost to the point of non-recognition."" → "his older songs "re-envisioned almost to the point of non-recognition"." per MOS:QWQ

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:09, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel

Pipe Tom Wilson to Tom Wilson (record producer)

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:02, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Notes

The ref is not needed for this note when it is invoked at the end of the actual sentence

Removed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:30, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

References

Copyvio score looks decent at 37.5%
Wikilink Scarecrow Press per MOS:LINK2SECT
Pipe Carlton to Welbeck Publishing Group
Wikilink Princeton University Press and author-link Timothy Hampton
Wikilink Penguin Books
Wikilink Constable & Robinson
Pipe Faber And Faber to Faber and Faber
Bodley Head → The Bodley Head with the wikilink
Pipe Black Dog & Leventhal to Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers
Wikilink Billboard Books and shouldn't this be italicised?

I tried, but got an error message "Italic or bold markup not allowed in: publisher=" BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:24, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Maybe cite ref 13 solely in place of refs 11 and 17?

I've retained these as there are a couple of direct quotations cited. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:24, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Pipe Uncut to Uncut (magazine) on ref 19
Wikilink Rolling Stone on ref 21 and why is 2015 in the date?

There is a note on the article, which has a publiction date of May 24, 2020, that "This list originally appeared in a 2015 Special Edition" BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:24, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink The Guardian on ref 22
Newport Daily News → The Newport Daily News on ref 25 with the wikilink
Wikilink USA Today on ref 27
Cite Variety for ref 28, piping to Variety (magazine)
Wikilink The New York Observer on ref 31

Done, except where noted above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:24, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

External links

Good

Final comments and verdict

On hold until all of the issues are fixed; nice job on this one! --K. Peake 11:14, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Many thank, K. Peake. Let me know if anything else is required. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:31, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

✓ Pass now, did some brief copy editing but nice job here! --K. Peake 09:17, 22 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]