Talk:Titán (wrestler)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:54, 12 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Going to have a look at this article. MWright96 (talk) 20:54, 12 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Lead

Mexico in the prose and infobox should not be linked per MOS:OVERLINK
"is a Mexican masked professional wrestler (luchador enmascarado in Spanish)" - should be a space after the word highlighted in bold
"as is often the case with masked wrestlers in Mexico where their private lives are kept a secret" - better; , where their private lives are concealed
"Titán began in in-ring career in 2008," - typo; should be his
"and ring name" - and the
"Over the years he has won several CMLL tournaments" - During his career,

Professional wrestling career

I believe the whole of the first sentence should be divided into two, with the second beginning when the offical debut date is first mentioned
"not revealing their real names and oftentimes" - occassionally

Palacio Negro (2008–2011)

"He made his professional wrestling debut under the name "Palacio Negro" ("The Dark Palace"), a name inspired by El Palacio Negro de Lecumberri, an infamous prison in Mexico that once housed Pancho Villa." - not mentioned by the source attached to it. Please find or use another source to verify this information
"The cage match also include a wrestler who would be his future tag team partner, Metal Blanco" - a period should be included at the end of this sentence.
"Throughout mid-2009 Palacio Negro had an opportunity to challenge for the locally promoted Occidente Welterweight Championship, but was eliminated in the tournament to crown a new champion by eventual winner Ángel del Mal," - more concise; Throughout mid-2009 Palacio Negro lost a challenge to win the Occidente Welterweight Championship by the eventual champion Ángel del Mal
Also the final comma should be replaced by a semi-colon to begin the sentence after
"and continuing to train under Gran Cochisse and El Satánico" - sentence should end with a period
"appearing at CMLL's main arena Arena Mexico" - appearing at CMLL's primary arena at Arena México.
"Palacio Negro was teamed up with the veteran" - paired to eliminate the close reptition of the word "teamed up" later on
"In late 2011 Palacio Negro entered CMLL's most prestigious annual tournament the Leyenda de Plata ("Silver Legend"), he was eliminated by his longtime tag team partner Metal Blanco early in the match." - this should be divided into two sentences, preferably with the second starting with the mention of this wrestler being eliminated from the match
"The team lost to Máscara Dorada and Metal Blanco in the semi final match." - semi-finals.

Titán (2011–present)

"against Dragón Rojo, Jr. on the July 21 Super Viernes Show," - no commas before the word Jr. per MOS:JR
"The storyline with Los Reyes was dropped only a few weeks later" - remove the word "only" and state where possible how many weeks exactly was the wrestler in question dropped
"on the July 21 Super Viernes Show, but was unsuccessful in the match." - more neutral; in which he was unsuccessful.
"Titán would later defeat En Busca de un Ídolo rival Pólvora to win the Mexican National Welterweight Championship
"on all three 2013 Fantastica Mania shows, an annual series of shows held in Japan " - reptition of "shows"
"In early 2013 Titán suffered a herniated disc during a match, an injury that forced CMLL to vacate the Welterweight Championship on March 20, 2013." - remove the second mention of 2013 since it is already mentioned in this sentence
"Titán made his in-ring return in April, and on June 30," - please trim this text down to just to the June 30 portion
"For the 2013/2014 Leyenda de Plata tournament, Titán outlasted Atlantis, Averno, La Máscara, Olímpico, Delta, El Felino, Tritón, Tiger, Stuka Jr., Okumura, and Virus to qualify for the finals of the tournament." - reptition of the word "tournament"
"as they had for the 2015" - had done
"and finally Volador Jr. and Último Guerrero" - the word "finally" is uneeded
"to win the entire tournament." - "entire" is redundant
"but lost to Bárbaro Cavernario" - before they lost
"to qualify for a match for the vacant CMLL World Welterweight Championship the following week. [41]" - The space inbetween the period and the reference should not exist
"Titán started off 2019 with winning that year's Reyes del Aire ("Kings of the Air") tournament, outlasting 15 wrestlers to win the tournament." - more concise; Titán began 2019 by outlasting 15 wrestlers to win the Reyes del Aire ("Kings of the Air") tournament.
"The following week Titán defeated Sobreano Jr. two falls to one," - "The following week" can be removed since it is already established the match took place in the following week

New Japan Pro-Wrestling (2013–present)

Wikilink undercard for non-Wrestling readers
"In the fall he toured with NJPW from September 10 through November 5" - avoid use wording such as "In the fall" per MOS:SEASON
"to participate in the 2017 Super Junior Tag tournament, but lost in the first round" - losing
"finishing second to last in his block." - The New Japan Pro-Wrestling source does not state this, rather that Titan scored six points from his three victories
"The team earned eight point, for a fourth place in the tournament." - an improvement; The team earned eight points to finish in fourth place in the tournament.
"However they were eliminated in the first round by Roppongi Vice" - The word "However" can be removed from this sentence
"but lost of the remaining tournament matches" - before losing his

Ring of Honor (2017–2018)

"Titán participated in the CMLL/NJPW/Ring of Honor/RevPro promoted War of the Worlds UK tour" - RevPro-promoted
"replacing an injured Atlantis as a CMLL representative, making his debut for both Ring of Honor and in England" - this statement is not unreferenced and will require a reliable source to verify it
"The Young Bucks defeated The Best Friends (Beretta and Chuckie T) and Dragon Lee/Titán at a ROH Television taping event." - it would be benefical to include where the taping occurred
"as part of ROH's television taping." - add where this taping took place

The name Titán in lucha libre

"Fishman – used the ring name in 1970 and 1971" - a period is missing at the end of this sentence
" took over the name and mask in CMLL, 1992 to 1994." - from 1992 to 1994.

References

Reference 11 should be archived because it is dead

Overall the primary issues with this article concern the prose of the grammar and some unreferenced portions of text that exist therein. Will put on hold for the time being. MWright96 (talk) 17:34, 13 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

- MWright96 I believe I have addressed all issues except for one. I still need to find a source for replacing an injured Atlantis as a CMLL representative, making his debut for both Ring of Honor and in England", I'll do some research. MPJ-DK (talk) 18:51, 13 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - FOund 2, 1 showing it was his first ROH match and 1 showing it was his first match in Europe/English. All covered?? MPJ-DK (talk) 18:55, 13 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - @MPJ-DK: You haven't addressed the queries on wikilinking the term undercard to help non-wrestling readers and changing the grammatical error of "The team earned eight point," to eight points MWright96 (talk) 20:04, 13 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      - Fixed both, apparently the link for undercard is - undercard, who knew it was that easy? MPJ-DK (talk) 21:38, 13 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
        @MPJ-DK: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 09:54, 14 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]