Talk:Tintin and Alph-Art/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Brigade Piron (talk · contribs) 11:55, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Midnightblueowl. I've been watching your contributions to this article with interest and I hope you don't mind if I come out of partial retirement to review it.—Brigade Piron (talk) 11:55, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

By all means; that would be appreciated. Best, Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:58, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

A (few) comments:

You mention that the book exists only in sketch form, but I think this could be clarified by a little explanation of the ligne clair style or the drawing process common to the other adventures.

I have some difficult here. I agree with your basic point, but am unsure where to find the sources which could be cited here. Little has been published that explicitly deals with Hergé's working method. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:59, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think it would have to be more detailed than to merely illustrate that the works of Hergé that the public know and love are generally rendered in the ligne clair style and have been published as such since the 1950s. Otherwise it is not easy for the reader to judge quite how unfinished Alph-Art actually is.—Brigade Piron (talk) 16:19, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I've added a few extra words to the second paragraph of the lede, Brigade Piron; does this work for you? Best, Midnightblueowl (talk) 16:47, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Perhaps consider including a César sculpture (and fully linking the artists name) as an example of the kind of "modern art" talked about here?

I've fully linked to the artist's name. It doesn't seem that any of the César sculpture images currently on Wikipedia really reflect the sort of artwork that Hergé was referring to, however. Moreover, I worry that he inclusion of such an image might make things a little bit cluttered. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:42, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The phrase "modern art" is used in three consecutive sentences in "background". Perhaps rework for fluency?

Good idea. I have removed the latter two examples. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:42, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

File:Th nightmare.jpg impinges on the references. I'm not sure there's a solution for this (I certainly think it should be kept) but it's sub-optimal if the article goes for FAR at some point. Perhaps one (shorter) frame from the adventure could be substituted instead? Perhaps even the same frame as already shown in Hergé's version above? Just a thought.

That was my concern also. The problem with changing this image is one of access; copies of Rodier's work are not easily obtainable. I shall have a search and see what I can do. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:42, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I couldn't find a copy of the frame that you suggested, but have found an alternative to the original image used. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:52, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

As you can see, there's really not much to critique and, apart from the first point which is (I think) quite important, there's not much to do on the article.—Brigade Piron (talk) 12:08, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'm delighted to pass this, congratulations! I look forward to the FA Review in due course and will be delighted to support it further.—Brigade Piron (talk) 17:47, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]