Talk:Timur Shah Durrani/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 22:23, 26 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewing now. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 22:23, 26 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

This article unfortunately has multiple issues:

Severe language problems, including:
- incomplete sentences (e.g., "While his father, Ahmad Shah Durrani was accompanied with Nader Shah"; this example could be fixed by combining with the previous sentence).
- constant repetition of names instead of uses of replacements like "him", e.g.: protection of Timur Shah Durrani so he continuously stayed with Timur Shah Durrani
- Sentences I do not understand, e.g. While his father, Ahmad Shah Durrani was accompanied with Nader Shah.
- Timur Shah moved with his father to Kandahar with his father Ahmad Shah Durrani consolidating power – multiple problems here
Lack of background information.
- Many readers will not know about the Durrani Empire, it should be mentioned that it was an Afghan empire.
- Introduce central terms and people.
- Ideally provide a background section with general information for context.
Wikification issues
- Many duplinks, e.g. was accompanied with Nader Shah. After the assassination of Nader Shah – Nader Shah is linked both times.
- avoid single-sentence paragraphs
- I don't really understand your use of bullet points; e.g., they should not be used for quotations.
- Paragraphs too long, should be split up
- The list of sons: Why are the sons numbered? What does the numbers refer to?
Lead too short, should summarise whole article
Sourcing issues – some paragraphs lack inline citations

Closing note: I think this article still has to go a long way, and I have to quick-fail this, unfortunately. If you have any questions regarding the points raised above, please let me know. I encourage to renominate once the article is improved; see WP:NGA for a check-list what is needed. Thanks, --Jens Lallensack (talk) 22:39, 26 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]