Talk:Tim Donaghy/GA1

GA Review

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GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

In general, I don't like failing articles, but this one needs a lot of work to reach GA status. It is quite comprehensive on the betting scandal, but reads like an ongoing log of events rather than an encyclopedic article. Some things that require work:

~~I'm not a big fan of the stub sub-sections used throughout. I think the article would flow better if they were all combined under the major headings.~~
The section on Donaghy's officiating career reads like a log of bad things he did, and seems overwhelmingly negative. While officials usually gain notability for negatives rather than positives, it would be nice to add a bit more of his overall career rather than simply point out his infamous incidents. For instance, his archived NBAOA page says he was a participant with the NBA's Read to Achieve program.
- I'll do what I can, but that's the nature of these things. I have been finding bits and pieces among the many news articles, so there's hope yet.
  - Looking better. Hopefully some more odd tidbits emerge later. Reso lute 02:56, 1 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
~~The scandal sections could use a pretty major rewrite in places, and there are many time-sensitive statements that should be updated. Among the issues:~~

He also said that the affair could potentially be "one of the most damaging scandals in the history of American sports." - leads me to wonder what the legacy of this incident was. What consequences has the NBA faced as a result of this? Specifically, has the league announced any policy changes aimed at combating future crimes like this?

Working on this. Found a good source. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:03, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK, have added bits and pieces, and a section on the effects. Personally, I think that sort of detail belongs in the main article. Dabomb87 (talk) 21:48, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

*Battista's lawyer told the AP that his client expects to be indicted. - Future tense statement that is in the past; noted later that Batista was indicted

Removed, and noted that he and Martino were sentenced. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:33, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Donaghy was incommunicado at his home in Bradenton. "Incommunicado" is slang in this context, not really encyclopedic.

Rephrased. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:03, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

However, according to the Daily News, he and his family are now staying in an undisclosed location to avoid scrutiny. Time sensitive statement that likely is no longer true. consider rewording along the lines of "[they] stayed in an undisclosed location to avoid scrutiny."

Removed, he doesn't live with the rest of his family anymore, anyway. Dabomb87 (talk) 21:50, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

~~Too much usage of "on [date], foo happened." Try to mix up how you open paragraphs a bit.~~
He could face up to 25 years in prison. another future tense statement of an event in the past

Removed, was out of date. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:03, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

*However, he will almost certainly get far less than that if he cooperates with the government again

Removed, was out of date. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:03, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

On June 19, 2008, the NBA filed a demand that Donaghy reimburse the league for the costs of his airfare and meals, complimentary game tickets, and other expenses... How was this resolved? Or are the court proceedings related to the NBA's claim still ongoing?

Still ongoing. I haven't found anything that indicates it has finished. Dabomb87 (talk) 21:54, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Possible charges in Arizona - this article is two years old now. Has anything happened in Arizona?

Everything I've searched says the same thing. Here's an article from a year later that essentially says the same thing. Dabomb87 (talk) 22:20, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sentencing section requires citations, especially the claim that the scandal "tarnished" the NBA's reputation and raised questions about the integrity of it's officials. It reads like the editor's POV as is.
Donaghy apologized to the court, saying "I brought shame on myself and my family." - citation required for the direct quote.

~~Reference 3 is dead. Fortunately, it has been preserved here at archive.org, though you will have to update the reference.~~

Done. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:03, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I find it interesting to note that you've included a comment from his college coach saying that he did not win any all-catholic or all-Deleware County awards. Without context, I failed at first to understand why this was there. His archived NBAOA profile said that he did win such awards in high school, however, but this is conspicuously not mentioned.

You're right, that is strange. I've rewritten that part; hopefully it makes more sense now. Dabomb87 (talk) 22:06, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

~~Minor manual of style stuff:~~

~~Move his birthplace from the lead to his personal life section~~
~~citation notes should go after punctuation (i.e.: Pennsylvania high school games[3],) check for other instances~~

References look good
No image, but a free one would be exceedingly difficult to acquire, so no worries there.

Hope this helps. I expect that with some work, this can be a GA, as such, I am placing it on hold for a short time. Reso lute 01:04, 25 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Made several fixes, will work on others later.—Chris! _ct 05:21, 25 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Chris asked me to look after this GA while he takes care of RL issues. Can the resolved issues be marked as such so I know what to work on? Dabomb87 (talk) 21:13, 27 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Just to be a real pain in the ass, I probably would keep Donaghy's accusations against the NBA at the end in its own sub-section. Placed in chronological order where it is now, it breaks the timeline of his conviction and sentencing, and is a separate but related aspect of the case. Reso lute 00:16, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I'll get to these later tonight. Dabomb87 (talk) 00:37, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I moved the paragraph about his allegations against the NBA into a separate subsection at the end, as it seemed strange to go from the present back to a year ago. Dabomb87 (talk) 21:04, 28 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, looks much better. Thanks.—Chris! _ct 01:42, 29 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Certainly does! One quick question: "Donaghy could have faced up to 33 months (two 15 months terms and 3 years of supervised release)" Should that be three months of supervised release, rather than three years? Otherwise the figures in parentheses does not match the 33 month figure. Otherwise, I am quite happy with the changes, and believe this now meets the GA criteria Reso lute 02:56, 1 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You were absolutely right about that sentence, which was a misstatement of what the source was saying. I have revised that. Thanks for the review. Dabomb87 (talk) 03:46, 1 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I suggest changing the description of who RJ Bell is and what his website is. He is a tout and his website is full of meaningless data-mined trends and unsuccessful betting touts.—Nuno! 09:40, 24 September 2014 (EST) — Preceding unsigned comment added by 74.94.137.129 (talk)