Talk:Thomas Hutchinson (governor)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sarnold17 (talk · contribs) 00:15, 18 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Only time availability has kept me from reviewing this earlier, but I'll go ahead and give it some attention now.Sarnold17 (talk) 00:15, 18 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Another good read, I've enjoyed just taking my time and ambling through the article. Several minor adjustments have been made, and here are some comments:

Lead: I found three things mentioned in the lead that I could not find in the article, or possibly contradict it: (1) the lead says that Lord North accused Hutchinson of being a significant contributor to tensions before the war. I do not find this in the article, and in fact the article presents an opposing sentiment that Hutchinson was well received by Lord North when he arrived in England; (2) the article doesn't mention Hutchinson's home as being palladian; and (3) the lead says that Hutchinson, upon sailing to England, advised the crown on how to deal with Americans, but I don't find this in the article.
- I've added material that should address these items. Magic♪piano 15:39, 26 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lead: last sentence cites Bailyn as source, but footnotes Duffy. I added a url to the Duffy book, and highlighted the quote within the url. The quote in the book does not match the quote in the lead, so either the quote should be changed, or else the reference should be changed. I relooked at Duffy, and found your quote in the footnote, so this is no longer an issue.

Early life: "His father continued in the trade..." but there is no sufficient mention of what he was continuing from; it is only mentioned that his parents were both from mercantile families. Recommend: "His father maintained his mercantile pursuits while also active in political, military, ..." etc. Done Magic♪piano 02:55, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Early life: If you would prefer to add more specifics on the relationship of Hutchinson and his wife, they were third cousins, and both of them were great great grandchildren of Anne Hutchinson. I can provide the online reference for this relationship that I used in the Anne Hutchinson article, if you are interested. Also, Hutchinson's great grandfather, Edward Hutchinson (captain) also has an article if you think it's worth a link somewhere.
- I'm sort of indifferent on that count (not being quite as much into the genealogy thing). Feel free to add if you like. Magic♪piano 15:39, 26 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Legislator and councillor: second paragraph: posting a guard at his home "was discussed." (by whom?) In general, avoid passive voice. I went to your source, and it is equally as vague, by stating "...which many thought should be protected by a guard." In other words, who are the "many?" You could say something like, "some authorities suggested that a guard be stationed at the Hutchinson home."
- Unfortunately, even his 20th century biographers don't elaborate. Bailyn says nothing, and Walmsley, like Hosmer, is in the passive voice, so I'm inclined (even though I agree avoiding the passive voice should be done :) to leave it as is. Magic♪piano 15:39, 26 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Legislator and councillor: third paragraph: the District of Maine is linked, and in the link it says the district was created in 1778. My question is, was it called the District of Maine during the time frame alluded to in the article? I know it was a part of Mass. at the time, but what was that region called then? I personally don't know.
- As far as I can tell Maine was referred to by a number of designations ("eastern counties" and such); the district article (which is not meaningfully cited) was the closest thing I could find to link (the alternative being to leave it unlinked). Magic♪piano 02:55, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lt Governor of Massachusetts: "When Governor Shirley was recalled in 1757..." The paragraph opens with this, as if the reader already knows the details of his being recalled. Even though you allude to this recall later, this is the first mention of it, and therefore the reader should be given a tad of background as to why Shirley was recalled. Something like, "When political opponents engineered the recall of Governor Shirley in 1757..." Done Magic♪piano 02:55, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Exile: Second paragraph: "Bitter and disillusioned" Hutchinson continued work on his history... I, the reader, find something missing here. The bitter and disillusioned has nothing to do with his writing. I think it should say, "Bitter and disillusioned, Hutchinson dropped out of politics, and devoted his efforts to writing his history of..."

I've elaborated on this some more. Magic♪piano 15:39, 26 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Publications: the title of the second volume of his history is incorrect. Fixed Magic♪piano 02:55, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll give it another read or two, and check the images. The references look pretty good.Sarnold17 (talk) 02:00, 19 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Images have been checked, and though I'm not thoroughly satisfied with the licensing of all the images (a real fuzzy area for me), I am satisfied that each image is no longer under any copyright, and is useable for the purposes intended.
- NB I've changed the lead image; I hadn't realized the MHS had published the portrait in their collection. Magic♪piano 15:39, 26 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

References look good, except for the Henry Waters reference. The reference is a journal entry, and not a book (at least that's what the URL gives), but the author is not Henry Waters, or at least he's not the original author (he was only 14 when the article was published). I don't think we know who the original author was, because I don't think authors were ever named in the earliest days of the NEHGR. What Waters did, when he became a big wig in the society, was take many older works and re-publish them, apparently under his name. This kept many early works from becoming lost or obscure. Anyway, I'm not sure it is worth doing much about this, but I think it would be more accurate to call this a journal reference, and also change the title to "Memoir of Governor Hutchinson" as given in the article. As to the author? I guess leave it.
- Since it isn't explicitly bylined to Waters, I've removed his name from it (and fixed the name). Magic♪piano 02:55, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This ends my formal comments, but I will likely browse around the article some more, so other comments may arise.Sarnold17 (talk) 00:47, 20 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've addressed these issues; let me know if there's more (and thanks again for reviewing). Magic♪piano 15:39, 26 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

OK, it looks good to me; I'll get the administrative details done soon.Sarnold17 (talk) 00:22, 28 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Good article nomination recap

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
prose is fine; comments have been addressed

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
No problems here
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:
Well-referenced throughout

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
No apparent problems here
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
The subject is thoroughly covered

B. Focused:
Yes; I don't notice any tangents or unnecessary material
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
No problems noted here
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
No problems here
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
No problems noted

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Good number and use of images
Overall:
Pass or Fail: