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Talk:Thirty Minutes over Tokyo/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Ruby2010 comment! 22:31, 11 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I will review sometime today or tomorrow. Thanks, Ruby2010 comment! 22:31, 11 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Comments

[edit]
  • There is a dead link (The Simpsons Global Mirror)
  • Wikilink Fox network and Japan in lead
  • Wikilink Snake and the Simpsons (to family article)
  • "... it was released as part of the tenth season box set" Add mention of DVD box set
  • "Homer scolds the Japaneses for their lack of ethic, since that they go against their own culture of honor, something that ashamed them, but does not change the program's sadistic policy" Couple issues: Japanese is singular and I think it should be "ethics". Also, the sentence is verging on a run-on sentence; needs to be fixed
  • "The episode was written near the end of the production run for the series' tenth season." Not quite sure what this means. Could you clarify?
  • The writers and director need wikilinks in the production section. Also, identify who they are (producers, showrunners etc)
  • "the Simpsons writing staff" "the" should also be capitalized (after all, the show is called The Simpsons, not the Simpsons)
  • Remove one of the "however"s from the first paragraph of the production section (looks awkward)
  • "Show runner" is one word
  • Wikilink "kitchenette"
  • "canadian" should be capitalized
  • Has George Takei appeared before? The article kind of implies he had. Just curious (might be something interesting to mention)
  • "references and mocks several aspects of Japanese and American culture, and differences between the two" Last part of sentence is awkward (maybe change and to "as well as")
  • Episode ratings?
  • "denouncing the episodes dated references" -> episode's
  • "felt fresher in 1999 it does do now." Is this an author typo, or did you copy it from the source wrong?

The article was a joy to read (it's been a while since I saw this particular episode, so it was fun to reminisce about it). Just deal with the minor issues above, and the article will be good to go! I'll place it on hold for seven days in the meantime. Thanks, Ruby2010 comment! 02:01, 12 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'm pretty sure I've resolved all the issues now. If there's anything else, just address it and I'll fix it. Queenieacoustic (talk) 11:39, 12 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks! :D Queenieacoustic (talk) 15:38, 12 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.