Talk:The Wolf and the Lion/GA2
GA Review
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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:13, 20 December 2011 (UTC)
- Right let's go then. Queries below. I'll copyedit as I go and revert me if my change guffs the meaning. Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:13, 20 December 2011 (UTC)
The plot centers in King's Landing and Lord Eddard Stark's investigations regarding the death of the previous Hand. ...aaargh. The plot doesn't centre in a location. I'd reword something like, "With much of the story taking place in King's Landing, the plot focusses on Lord Eddard Stark's investigations into the death of the previous Hand." or something like it.- Done.
- '
' In the city, the Tourney of the Hand comes to an end while the various factions that plot for power come to light. --> " In the city, the Tourney of the Hand comes to an end while the various factions that plot for power are revealed." (?)- Done.
- '
I'd at least put some out of universe material in the lead - viewing figures, reception, something.- Put two sentences in for now. Will see about adding more.
- Yeah, looking better. Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:49, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Put two sentences in for now. Will see about adding more.
- Any embellishment that can be gleaned and added to the Writing section would be a big big plus. Any musings of GRRM anywhere, anything.
- first sentence in Filming locations needs a citation.
- .....
fight outside Littlefinger's brothel was staged at the Mesquita Square in Mdina- is the last place a town? Is it spelt correctly and can it be linked?- Done, but still probably needs a cite.
- .....
- but because the landscape base plates were being shot in Ireland, using Meteora resulted a better option - why? Is it discussed anywhere?
As the action takes off,..- a tad colloquial to my ears - would prefer "As the action gains pace/gains momentum/picks up".... or somesuch....- Rephrased.
The episode's ratings in its premiere airing raised to 2.58 million viewers- I think of "raise" as a transitive active verb, in which case it comes over as odd here. I'd use "rose", "grew", "increased" or even "swelled".....- Rephrased.
Other aspects of the show that were highlighted by the critics were the effectiveness of the action scenes and the visuals (especially the views of the Eyrie and its sky cells, and the look of the dragon skulls).- I'd remove the parentheses and replace with a comma after "visuals". Also needs a cite. I did it myself - it does look a bit lonely there, can it be expanded or fleshed out a bit?
"Dedication" looks odd being a level 2 header...I think I'd make it a level 3 header and the last subsection of the "Production" section.- Done.
ref 10 needs formatting
- blogs aren't great refs but are ok for some mundane material.
Anyway, any questions, just ask. GA is definitely achievable here.. cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 11:45, 20 December 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks - I'll try to address these issues over the holidays. Sandstein 09:24, 21 December 2011 (UTC)
1. Well written?:
- Prose quality:
- Manual of Style compliance:
2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
- References to sources: -
four tags need doing. Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:23, 2 January 2012 (UTC) - Citations to reliable sources, where required:
- No original research:
3. Broad in coverage?:
- Major aspects: - more commentary would be good but I think we have minimum to pass. Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:23, 2 January 2012 (UTC)
- Focused:
4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:
- Fair representation without bias:
5. Reasonably stable?
- No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):
6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:
- Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- fixing the four [citation needed] tags is a minimum.Extra info is good. Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:23, 2 January 2012 (UTC)- Ok, the four {{cn}} tags have been dealt with: three were sourcable, one was not and so that tidbit was removed. I can source Shane's Castle as a location, but not individual scenes which were shot there. I also added an overall plot intro, like I've done for the other episodes in the series, based on other GA reviewer feedback. Jclemens (talk) 00:50, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
- Passed then. Now for another episode......Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:07, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
- Ok, the four {{cn}} tags have been dealt with: three were sourcable, one was not and so that tidbit was removed. I can source Shane's Castle as a location, but not individual scenes which were shot there. I also added an overall plot intro, like I've done for the other episodes in the series, based on other GA reviewer feedback. Jclemens (talk) 00:50, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
