Talk:The Unraveling (Rise Against album)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Adabow (talk · contribs) 05:04, 5 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Some dab links and dodgy external links that need fixing. Adabow (talk · contribs) 05:04, 5 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work, it has the basics, but there are a few issues mentioned below, mostly to do with elaborating and more in-depth discussion of information. The article also needs a bit of copyediting; I have raised a few problems in the prose, but please run through the entire article and give it a touch-up. I'll place the review on hold, awaiting improvements. Adabow (talk · contribs) 10:36, 5 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately, the main contributor has been inactive lately, so after 18 days on hold I will fail the review. Any editors may renominate the article at WP:GAN after addressing points raised here. Adabow (talk · contribs) 05:51, 22 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"debut full-length album" → debut studio album
"Mass Giorgini produced the album at Sonic Iguana Studios in Lafayette, Indiana, in December 2000" - mention later per MOS:LEAD
"Although The Unraveling did not rank on any of the Billboard 200 charts" → Although The Unraveling did not rank on any record charts
The lead needs to generally be expanded and go into a little further detail. For example, you do not mention the reception of the reissue, and I see nothing about the musical style.
Also, references are not needed in the lead, as the lead should not contain new material, and therefore info should be referenced later on

Background

"Rise Against existed for over a year as local Chicago band "Transistor Revolt" before..." → Rise Against existed for over a year as local Chicago band, "Transistor Revolt", before...
"before recording their debut" - debut what?
"although it was added as a bonus track to the 2005 Reissue" - reissue needs lower case 'r'

Style and composition

This section needs more linking of genres and sub-genres
File:401 Kill.ogg needs reducing to less than 19.9 seconds, and should be of lower quality, per WP:SAMPLE
- Same with File:Join the Ranks.ogg (reduce to less than 8.6 seconds)
"In The Age interview" → In the interview with The Age
"The first 15 seconds of "Reception Fades" are taken from 1997's Henry Fool." - how was it taken from the film?

Release and reception

Divide this section up. Make 'Commercial' its own level two section, like 'Release and promotion', and 'Critical' to level two section 'Critical reception'
"Fat Wreck Chords released The Unraveling on April 21, 2001, in the United States on LP and CD formats" – comma after 'States'
"The album and the 2005 reissue did not rank on any major music charts" → The album did not rank on any record charts
"The band participated in the 2001 "Fuck the World Tour"" - no quote marks around tours
"during which the band heavily promoted their debut" - debut what?
"On the tour, the band met Chris Chasse, who was then a member of Reach the Sky as lead guitarist and later joined Rise Against in 2004 after the departure of Mohney" - comma after 'guitarist'. You also need to mention Mohney's departure here
"Rise Against signed to Fat Wreck Chords again in 2003 to record their sophomore album, Revolutions Per Minute" - source?
The Allmusic review ref should be updated to link directly to the review page

2005 reissue

"The re-issue was met with positive critical acclaim" -no hyphen everywhere else, so why here?

Track listing

Source for writers?

References

Make sure that only printed sources (ie books, magazines, newspapers etc) are italicised, and not websites