Talk:The Sword/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zeagler (talk) 11:28, 26 November 2010 (UTC)

Here's your expedited review...a month and a half late (sorry!)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

   – Some of the myspace links are dead.

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

   – The last sentence of the lead suggests that being on a major record label and having commercial success are usual prerequisites to critical praise and touring slots with high profile bands. That seems to be a stretch; it's uncited regardless.

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

   – The "Warp Riders" section is unfocused in a subtle way: the focus of many of the statements is an announcement. For example, "On August 19, 2009, the band reported...", "The blog entry also revealed...", "The band issued a further update in December 2009, stating...", etc. We don't care that an announcement was made (and certainly not when it was made), we just care what happened in the end. This section would read much better if the information about what actually occurred were synthesized into the story of the album's creation, e.g. Writing for the band's third album was nearly completed by the end of 2009[citation] and recording began with producer Matt Bayles in early 2010[citation], etc.

   – This section is improved, but the issue remains. It would be great if there were more synthesis to obviate making a significant event out of announcements and reports: "The Sword spent (much of / mid-)2009 writing 'a concept album centered around an original science fiction narrative'..."

   – Similarly, mentioning when the album title/song titles/album cover/single release dates/music video plans/tour dates became known doesn't really do anything to further our understanding of the band.

   – "Just five shows into the opening leg of the Warp Riders Tour..." --> "...original drummer Trivett Wingo left the band, forcing the cancellation of the remainder of the tour." No need to convey tension by relating the effect before the cause, even if that was the order in which fans received the news. Just keep in mind that this is an encyclopedia, an as such is supposed to lean towards dispassionate relating of the facts. (In fairness, though, you do a fine job of that everywhere else in the article.)

   – The six-sentence quote from the band about Wingo's departure could probably be condensed to three without losing any of the meaning, and doing so may make a fair use issue less likely to come up.

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

   – Don't tell the reader that the band has or has not achieved "success". That's subjective. Just present the evidence to let the reader decide for himself, e.g. "The band's second album, Gods of the Earth, was released two years later and gave the group its first experience of chart success" --> "...gave the group its first Billboard 200 chart entry."

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Reviewer: Zeagler (talk) 11:28, 26 November 2010 (UTC)

Comment

There are dab links to be fixed and also two dead links. Jezhotwells (talk) 18:35, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

Taken care of. —Zeagler (talk) 18:02, 30 November 2010 (UTC)