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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:The Sponge Who Could Fly/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 21:35, 10 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I enjoyed the last review I did of a SB episode- happy to offer some thoughts here. J Milburn (talk) 21:35, 10 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Ok, the first thing that hits me is the fact you've got three non-free images, when, frequently, episode articles can't support any. The title card is adding nothing (though if you were to remove the background so that it was only text, it could be kept as PD). The other two are apparently just to support important plot elements- we do not depict plot elements merely because they are important. We depict them only if they can not be properly understood without the illustration- this certainly isn't the case with either of these. The second image just looks like the character stood there.
    • OK, do you think I should just replace the title card in the infobox with the promo artwork for the episode, and remove the image used in the plot section? Also, I would suggest to keep the still from the walk cycle.
      • If there was specifically promo artwork released for this episode, I'm potentially open to that being used in the infobox. If you were going to have an illustration of the walk cycle, I think it would have to be animated to get across what you need to get across, but I don't think that there's enough analysis of the walk to justify the use of an animation.
        • I have already added the promo art. But in the walk, I think that should be added. I'm currently converting a file containing the walk for upload. Do you think we should add the walk video or not? Mediran (t • c) 10:37, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The plot section is very long considering this is 11 minutes long- we don't need all the details of what happens with Patchy at the start?
  • "To promote the episode, Nickelodeon partnered with Burger King to release a line of toys consisting of eight figures, including SpongeBob Silly Squirter, Swing Time Patrick, Jellyfish Fields, Plankton Bubble Up, Squirt N' Whistle Squidward, Plush Shakin' SpongeBob, Karate Chop Sandy and Gravity Defying Gary." Were they specifically for this episode?
    • Yes, it was a tie-in promotion with Burger King. According to PR Newswire, "The promotion runs in conjunction with the SpongeBob's Lost Episode event on Nickelodeon, of which Burger King Corporation will be an on-air sponsor. The event culminates with the airing of "The Sponge Who Could Fly," a never- before-seen episode of SpongeBob SquarePants on Friday, March 21 at 8:00 p.m. on Nickelodeon." I think it's  Done? Mediran (t • c) 07:13, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • You don't mention that it's a special or that the Patchy segments are live action until a long way down the article- both of these probably belong in the lead
  • "Bryan Pope in his review for the DVD Verdict was positive in the DVD for the series third season" This doesn't make sense
  • "In 2003, the episode received a Hors Concours honor in the "Recently Telecast Programs" section of the Banff Rockie Awards." I don't really understand what this means.

Not finished yet, a few other things to look at, but feel free to start working on my suggestions above. J Milburn (talk) 21:59, 10 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much J Milburn for the review. I hope the article to pass! Thanks again! :) Mediran (t • c) 07:13, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It opened at the Hackney Empire in London, England on February 3, 2009.[21][22] The show toured the United Kingdom after a previous tour in Southeast Asia.[23]" So it opened in London, then toured Southeast Asia, then cam back to tour the UK?
  • Some of the sources you cite really aren't great, but a search on Nexis reveals that there are potentially much better sources out there. What I'll do (not right now, but at some point) is have a sift through Nexis and see if I can find you some good newspaper sources to replace some of the blogs you do use. I also think there needs to be a lot more about the stage show, as this is partly what makes the episode so notable. J Milburn (talk) 09:46, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Yes, I know it aren't great at all. I do also have problems regarding the sourcing of the final performance of the musical at Liverpool. The source I did not actually mentioned it there (I got the fact that its final performance was in Liverpool when I actually started to work on this. It was already provided there so I tried to find some source to verify it). Mediran (t • c) 10:37, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Some good sources

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Ok, there are a few sources definitely worth citing that you haven't used- this isn't your fault, of course, as you probably can't access them. Anyway, here goes-

  • Maurstad, Tom (19 March 2003). "'SpongeBob SquarePants' special Friday night on Nickelodeon". The Dallas Morning News. Retrieved 11 September 2013. (subscription required)

For "SpongeBob's" legion of fans, the bad news to this good news is that, with creator Stephen Hillenburg and crew are hard at work on the movie, there will be no more new episodes. With a slated fall 2004 release, that's 18 or so long months. But take heart: Nickelodeon will ease viewers' cravings with nine as-yet-unaired episodes that will be doled out during the break in TV production. The first _ "The Sponge Who Could Fly" _ will be unveiled during a two-hour "Sponge"-a-thon on Friday while the other eight will be broadcast at times yet to be announced.

Regular viewers of "SpongeBob SquarePants" may scarcely notice the lack of new shows since, with only 60 episodes and twice-a-day broadcasts, encountering an unseen episode is akin to spotting a unicorn. In this again-and-again context, it's the perfect touch that the first "unaired" episode Nickelodeon will decant has already been released on DVD and, thus, has already been seen by the show's most devoted fans.

To add a few further discouraging words, it's not a very good episode: yet another SpongeBob-and-his-love-of-jellyfish story _ not enough laughs and too much drippy sentimentality.

  • Bianco, Robert (21 March 2003). "Critic's corner". USA Today. p. 12E.

Hosted by Tom Kenny, the man who provides SpongeBob's voice, the special consists of three repeats and one new episode, The Sponge Who Could Fly.

There's lots more, but that's a start. J Milburn (talk) 18:44, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much! :) And about the images, I have removed them and also removed the maintenance tag. Mediran (t • c) 10:30, 12 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Great. I'll have a think about the promo pic you're currently using; I'm not really sure where we should stand on it. I've listed a couple more sources below for you. J Milburn (talk) 18:14, 12 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

SpongeBob is going legit--and going to Asia.

The live touring show "SpongeBob SquarePants Live! The Sponge Who Could Fly!" bows in Singapore in May, with stops skedded for Kuala Lumpur, Jakarta, Bangkok and Manila, as well as cities in Australia and New Zealand.

A Mandarin-language version will tour China and Hong Kong in the fall.

Production is the first stage venture for the "SpongeBob" franchise, joining a list of TV-inspired live offerings from Nickelodeon that includes "Blue's Clues" and "Dora the Explorer."

Show also is the first from Nick to preem outside the U.S. Its berth in Asia reflects a growing awareness of the potential of Asian markets among American producers of live entertainment.

"SpongeBob" storyline is based on an episode of the series called "The Lost Episode/The Sponge Who Could Fly." Script is written by Steven Banks, head writer for the TV show, with songs by Eban Schletter. Gip Hoppe directs (with choreographer and associate director Jenn Rapp), and set is designed by Rialto vet David Gallo.

Show is produced by Nickelodeon and MTVN Kids and Family Group, partnered with Broadway Asia Entertainment, the org that is bringing the Chinese-language version of "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change" to Gotham for a four-week engagement this spring.

  • (The Guardian is one of the best national papers in the UK- worth citing!) "Family: Endnotes: Weekend planner: Things to do with your family this week: Book ahead". The Guardian. 3 January 2009. p. 8 (Family Pages).

The Sponge Who Could Fly, premiers at the Hackney Empire in east London on 3 February before a six-month tour of the country.

The musical is based on the television episode The Lost Episode / The Sponge Who Could Fly. Suitable for all ages, the show is a story of courage and coming of age which tells of SpongeBob's desire to 'fly' with the jellyfish of Jellyfish Fields.

The new musical has been written by Steven Banks, head writer and story editor of SpongeBob SquarePants, co-producer of The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius, and author of more than 20 children's books.

The musical also features original songs and adaptations from Eban Schletter, who has written music for film and television shows including SpongeBob SquarePants.

Thank you very much J Milburn for finding these very good sources! I don't know how you manage to find these. Anyway, I have added them now. Also, about the image, what should we add as a replacement for the promo art if it does not add anything? Thanks again! Cheers! :) Mediran (t • c) 11:02, 13 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, a quick glance back at the article suggests that this is really starting to look good. I'm going to finish a source search and then go through the article again, checking the prose; hopefully the last couple of sources and last few tweaks will mean it's ready to be promoted. Thanks for your patience with this! J Milburn (talk) 10:56, 16 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Another one from The Sentinel (not the same title online, but my citation follows the appearance in the paper): Blackhurst, Chris (12 February 2009). "Tale is absorbing for young and old". The Sentinel. p. 19.
  • See here. The Scotsman is a well-respected paper.
  • Review: Barr, Gordon; Domeneghetti, Roger (23 April 2009). "A Splashing Show". Evening Chronicle. p. 29.{{cite news}}: CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)

Anyway, this live action stage show is a silly riot of colour, as you'd have to expect from an adaptation of a cartoon TV show (it's based on one episode of Nickelodeon's animated hit).

To be honest, there's minimal plot SpongeBob wants to fly like Bikini Bottom's jelly fish and his attempts unfold, along with various song and dance numbers, through the first half.

But no matter, the energetic performances and colourful set design more than make up for this and at 90 minutes (including the break) the show is short enough to prevent little ones from getting itchy feet.

Of the songs, Ker Ching, an ensemble piece led by Mr Krabs, stands out above the rest.

All Spongebob's friends from the aforementioned Squidward to Sandy the squirrel are in attendance, as is his enemy The Flying Dutchman a wonderfully realised huge pirate ghost backed up by a chorus of skeletons and skulls.

  • Another review, perhaps consider a subsection? Hardwick, Viv (24 April 2009). "Theatre critics". The Northern Echo. p. 25.

...Nikelodeon's animated underwater hero, who has been brought to life by Consett's Chris Coxon, sounding like Joe Pasquale after he's inhaled from a helium-filled balloon.

For most of the second half, Coxon is floating around on wires, as Spongebob achieves his dream of "flying" with the jellyfish. It's the result of Spongebob accidentally inflating his famous pants with a hairdryer - no mean feat under the sea.

Younger ones are just pleased to see a colourful collection of characters, vaguely resembling the tenyear-old TV show cast, cavorting around the stage.

One suspects that the PC brigade has robbed the tour of any real suggestion of amusing slapstick, but there is plenty of music and song.

Applause is a more confused than convincing from the moment Andy Peart introduces the storyline from Bikini Bottom as Patchy the Pirate, as well as throwing in the baddie voices of Plankton and The Flying Dutchman.

Charles Brunton makes a convincing Squidward while John Fricker (Patrick Star) and Martin Johnston (Mr Krabs) win the biggest costume contest.

Not enough sound carries into the circle, and some grandmas may have seen that as a blessing. But you certainly can't burst Sunderland Empire's bubble after booking this debut tour, which even America hasn't seen yet.

plus Added. Thank you and I think the sources are enough to support the article. Anyway, I'm planning to upload a publicity image of the musical from this source. Will you agree about this? If yes, what license would be appropriate? Thanks! :) Mediran (t • c) 10:30, 18 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'm back

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Ok, I'm really sorry for the delay, I've had very limited Internet access for a while. The article's really looking better; I'm going to promote, but here are my closing thoughts:

  • In places, the writing's still not great. The first paragraph of the "production" section is difficult to follow, and repeats "series" a lot.
  • I don't think you need any further non-free images. We know what a walk cycle is (if we don't, we can check the article).
  • You need to be very careful about close paraphrasing; I'm worried that there may be problems here. As you know, you can't just copy text from a source, but, further, if a source says "John walked to the shops and bought some bread." then you can't write "John headed to the shops and bought some bread." You'd have to say something like "John later went shopping, purchasing bread." This is most problematic when you're copying whole paragraphs, rather than single lines, but it's certainly something you should be aware of.
  • There are still a few more sources which I could get you if you like. If you exhaust the sources and then get a very thorough copyedit, this could potentially have a chance at FAC. Talk to me if you're interested, and then I'll help you with the remainder of the sources. After that, you could send it towards peer review before sending it to FAC.

Great work- thanks for sticking with it. J Milburn (talk) 18:02, 3 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks J Milburn for the review! Also, for the sources, you can present it and I (and/or you) can add them! I'm also interested in sending it to a FAC (if you like it too because I can't do that by myself and you're actually a very big help!) Thanks again! :) Mediran (t • c) 00:16, 5 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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