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Talk:The Red Throne/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewing

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Reviewer: Johanna (talk · contribs) 02:00, 16 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing this for a review. :) Johanna (formerly BenLinus1214)talk to me!see my work 02:00, 16 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Johanna:Been a week -- Any updates on this one ? — Cirt (talk) 06:46, 24 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Lead
  • Link to animated series.
    • I tend not to: animation is already a common term, as is series when it relates to television. 23W
  • "from a story devised by several other writers" could you be more specific? Also, are they credited writers?
    • Clarified: "Seo Kim and Somvilay Xayaphone wrote the episode from a synopsis devised by several other writers ..." 23W
  • There's more from the Production section you could summarize in the lead.
  • Put ratings info in lead.
  • "Originally aired on 10 February 2014, writers of entertainment- and education-related websites praised the episode" this is actually a sentence structure error, as it implies that the writers aired on that date if you read it carefully. :) Might I suggest "The episode originally aired on 10 February 2014, receiving (INSERT RATINGS FIGURE HERE) and a positive reception from writers of entertainment and education-related websites."
    • lol, didn't catch that. I made it two sentences instead, reads easier. 23W
  • I don't see anything about the crew perceiving its online response as negative later in the article…
    • Mentioned at the start of the second paragraph in "Reception". Clarified that the "online reception" refers to fan reaction. 23W
Production
  • I don't think you should repeat the same opening sentence at the beginning of the Production section, as it's a bit repetitive in my opinion.
  • "Nada, the main subject of the film, finds a pair sunglasses revealing a breed of aliens disguised as humans in control of society." Remove this sentence--it goes into unnecessary and irrelevant detail about the film, and anybody who wants to find out more can easily click on the hyperlink.
  • Are the appearances in those other media really homages or more parodies or mockings?
    • Changed to "spoofs". 23W
Release and reception
  • Could you be more specific than "over two million"?
    • Changed to approximately two million, would note decimals, but Nielsens data isn't meant to be interpreted that precisely. 23W
  • I can't tell if some of the parts of the Sava review are direct quotes or not. If they are not, I might recommend changing that for the parts "The theme of life following a broken romance benefits from this complexity," and "crafty metaphor for the personal changes an individual from a past relationship experiences, as well as the nostalgia felt over such a relationship," as they could seem a bit non-neutral or synthesis…
    • Tried tinkering with that paragraph. I try to paraphrase as best as I can because reception sections have a tendency to become quote farms in my opinion. I added saying verbs to switch the voice from us to Sava. 23W
  • Instead of using parentheses for the writers' publications, I would just say either "of PUBLICATION" or "writing for PUBLICATION".
  • Why do you bring Sava's review back in the second paragraph?

@23W: Here are some comments. Looking good so far! :) Johanna (formerly BenLinus1214)talk to me!see my work 03:39, 25 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Final evaluation

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail: