Talk:The Queen's Messenger/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 13:11, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
Going to be reviewing this article as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 13:11, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Lead
[edit]- Think the lead can be expanded to briefly mention the station that broadcast the drama and the date it was shown
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:35, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "These were received by 3 inch televisions" - the convert template would be better off being used on the text highlighted in bold
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:35, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
Background
[edit]- "The cameras picked up the stage action and microphones picked up the sound." - repetition of the phrase "picked up"
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "The television signal was received at several points throughout New York City. The broadcast received much publicity." - think these two sentences can be made into one
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "The teleplay starred retired star actress Izetta Jewell." - the word "star" isn't needed
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "It was noted that in the television receivers she appeared trimmer than in real life" - noted by whom?
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "A newspaper article of the time pointed out that even the heavy set opera singer" - observed
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- " A newspaper article of the time" - May as well mentioned what newspaper we're talking about
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "appearing as a John Bull type Englishman." - John Bull-type
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
Plot
[edit]- "A British diplomat has a romantic encounter with a mysterious woman. She is secretly trying to obtain the documents he is carrying." - these two sentences could be better off merged into one
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:18, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "She is secretly trying to obtain the documents he is carrying." - what are the documents in the drama?
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:18, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
Television receivers
[edit]- "The televised play was received on televisions that were octagonally shaped. The television set was about fourteen inches high and ten inches in depth." - how about making this into a single sentence and shortened accordingly
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- Also the mentions of inches can also be converted into the appropriate measurement with the convert template
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "Six televisions were set up around the W G Y studios" - WGY without the spaces
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "Six televisions were set up around the W G Y studios for the newspaper reporters that were connected by closed circuit television." - how about Six televisions were set up around the WGY studios and connected by closed circuit television for newspaper journalists. or a similar minor change?
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "There were television receivers set up in the transmitting control rooms that received the signal from the air that was transmitted several miles away."- broadcast
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
Special effects
[edit]- "on a three inch television screen display." - "display" isn't needed I believe
- "The director of these props that coordinated everything was Mortimer Steward." - and stage coordinator?
Drawbacks
[edit]- Wikilink General Electric
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:46, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "that developed into the soap opera.[8][15][7]" - refs in numerical order please
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:46, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- Wikilink scanning drive to the relevant article
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:46, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- "that picked up the image on the stage." - received
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:46, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
References
[edit]- Reference 1 should include Associated Press as the agency that provided the story to The Wilkes-Barre Record
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- Reference 5 should include International News Service as the agency that provided the story to Journal Gazette
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- References 3 and 9 look like they are the same story but in different newspapers. Please only use one copy
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- Reference 15 should mention that International News Service was the agency that provided the story to The Daily Republican
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- Also Refs 5 and 15 also appear to carry the exact same story from the INS agency. Only one should be used
- Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address/query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 14:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- @MWright96: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)
- @Doug Coldwell: Now promoting to GA class. I've made a few changes to the article. MWright96 (talk) 08:33, 22 May 2020 (UTC)