Talk:The Muppets' Wizard of Oz/Archive 1
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Fair use rationale for Image:MuppetsWizardOzDorothyShoes.JPG
Image:MuppetsWizardOzDorothyShoes.JPG is being used on this article. I notice the image page specifies that the image is being used under fair use but there is no explanation or rationale as to why its use in this Wikipedia article constitutes fair use. In addition to the boilerplate fair use template, you must also write out on the image description page a specific explanation or rationale for why using this image in each article is consistent with fair use.
Please go to the image description page and edit it to include a fair use rationale. Using one of the templates at Wikipedia:Fair use rationale guideline is an easy way to insure that your image is in compliance with Wikipedia policy, but remember that you must complete the template. Do not simply insert a blank template on an image page.
If there is other fair use media, consider checking that you have specified the fair use rationale on the other images used on this page. Note that any fair use images lacking such an explanation can be deleted one week after being tagged, as described on criteria for speedy deletion. If you have any questions please ask them at the Media copyright questions page. Thank you.
BetacommandBot (talk) 23:22, 22 December 2007 (UTC)
Improvement suggestions
I originally wanted to review this article for Good Article, but I fear the sources that are used here are not considered reliable by wikipedia. Therefore, I'll leave the final review for someone else, but I'll leave the notes that I've made so far:
- Intro: Please consider merging the second and third paragraph (putting the third paragraph first). This makes for a better flow.
DoneLimetolime (talk) 14:03, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
- Intro: The tagline is unnecessary. Please remove it or work it into the text
Done - Removed tagline due to WP:FILM's manual of style.Limetolime talk to me • look what I did! 21:27, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
- Plot: "Unfortunately" (2x) violates WP:Neutral point of view. Remove these words or replace them with a neutral explanation that makes it obvious why this is unfortunate
DoneLimetolime (talk) 14:09, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
- Plot: "She learns that she is in Munchkinland, and about the infamous Wizard of Oz" - very awkard sentence. Please rewrite.
DoneLimetolime (talk) 14:03, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
- Plot: last sentence: "...Dorothy and her friends [...] uncovers..." is grammatically unsound
DoneLimetolime (talk) 14:04, 7 March 2008 (UTC) – sgeureka t•c 22:26, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
GA review
I really like the article. You've put a lot of work into the article and it shows. I have listed my suggestions below - please don't be daunted as many are extremely quick fixes! I have also put in a lot of suggestions that can hopefully be cut-and-pasted with only some minor changes if you like.
I have put the article on hold for one week to give you time to address the suggestions. Just a quick note about me - I haven't seen the film, but I'm a fan of The Wizard of Oz and The Muppets and was until recently part of WikiProject:Films.
Lead
- First paragraph is too short, suggest combining with second paragraph.
Done - Merged
- "directed by Kirk Thatcher and starring Ashanti and The Muppets" - remove "and".
Done - Removed
- "as she wishes to break away from her home and become a star" - suggest "who wishes to break away from her home and become a star".
Done - Changed
- You need to correct some internal links here - for example, "star" leads to the celestial body and "Toto" links to page that suggests a gorilla, a band and many other things.
Done - Corrected links
Infobox
- Running time should be "minutes", not "mins."
Done - Changed
- No budget?
Done - Added budget
Plot
- I haven't seen the film so can't comment on whether the plot is correct. I'll just assume it is! Congrats on writing a succinct plot summary, I know that can be difficult. I suggest you expand this section a little, but that is not necessary for GA. For example, according to WP:FilmPlot, it should start with a few sentences describing the overall plot, then move into further detail.
- You need to put the names of actors in brackets after the character names, e.g. "Dorothy Gale (Ashanti)", "Aunt Em (Queen Latifah)", even "Good Witch of the North (Miss Piggy)".
Done
- "But, her dreams turning into reality look impossible, as she lives in the heart of Kansas, working at her Aunt and Uncle's diner." - please reword sentence.
Done
- I would link "tornado", "underground shelter", "slippers", and "trailer", simply because these terms may need further explanation. For example, as an Australian I would usually assume "trailer" meant Trailer (vehicle), but in this context I figure it means "mobile home"? Better to clarify than leave it for people to work out.
Done
- How does she learn "that she is in Munchkinland, and that the infamous Wizard of Oz can help her live her dream"? Is it from the Munchkins?
Done
- Need to correct the links to "Wizard of Oz".
Done
- "who was killed by Dorothy's trailer falling on her" - suggest "who was killed when Dorothy's trailer fell on her" as it's in past tense.
Done
- "While everyone thinks this will finally get their wishes granted, Dorothy uncovers the truth about what real happiness is." - better not to end a sentence with "is"; suggest something like "Her friends assume this will result in the granting of their wishes, but Dorothy uncovers the secret to real happiness." You can also say what that secret is in an additional sentence (I'm guessing it's something like friendship?) - don't worry about spoilers as this is an encyclopedic plot summary, not a DVD cover.
Done
Production
- "the Muppets have been re-introduced" - suggest "the Muppets were re-introduced".
Done
- You have cited almost everything except "in hopes for a successful turn in the ratings by the time the new telefilm hits the air.", which I actually think needs citing more than the rest of it. For example, was that stated by Disney, or has someone just interpreted the Muppets' appearances on those shows to be an attempt to lift ratings for the film? I'll play devil's advocate here - perhaps the appearances were just for the money they generated?
- "Originally set to air on Saturday, May 21," - elsewhere before this point you would have written "21 May" - make a choice and stick to it throughout the article.
- "Filming took place throughout September 2004" - remove links from "September 2004" as it's not a complete date.
Done
- "Another such change was having Dorothy and her family be African-American, similar to The Wiz.[15] Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway, Hilary Duff, and Jessica Simpson..." - if they had made the decision to make Dorothy's family African-American, why would they have considered the actors mentioned? Suggest you move that sentence or improve the links between them.
- "Ashanti was asked how she felt about working with the muppets" - should be "Muppets". No need to put quotes in italics.
Done
- I'm not a fan of the quote box, aside from it rendering incorrectly in Firefox. You've already put the quotes in the text, so I see no need for the box, especially with the boxes for ratings and the Oz Portal appearing in the same section.
- Some more expansion in this section would be good, but it's not necessary for GA status.
Cast
- Good job with writing a bit about each character here.
- It would look better if you used colons rather than commas after the character names. Also some are capitalised (A scarecrow) and others aren't (the good witch) - should be consistent.
Done
- "search of a heart from the wizard of oz" - Wizard of Oz is written twice all in lowercase.
Done
- "and is her first traveler with her on the journey" - suggest "and is her first companion on the journey".
Done
- "The legendary Wizard of Oz." - why is he legendary? Could be a bit more descriptive here.
Done
- "were deemed to violent for the film" should be "was deemed too violent".
Done
- The images for Dorothy and Cowardly Lion have an error in their fair use rationales: "Purpose: To publicise the film" - it means the picture's purpose in the encyclopedia, which is to illustrate a character, not publicise the film.
Done
Release
- Perhaps this should be titled "Distribution", as suggested by MOS:FILM?
Done
- Link the first appearance of "Tribeca Film Festival".
Done
- "The film first premiered on television on May 20, 2005" - fix the date to match the others.
Done
- "with the DVD retailing at $24.99" - no need to say the cost.
- "retailing at £19.99" - no need to say the cost.
- "The DVD and VHS of the film was released" - should be "were released".
Done
- "The same was done for ABC's television airing" - do you mean that the deleted footage was reinserted for the TV
viewing or was removed for the TV viewing? If the latter, I suggest something like "footage cut from the film due to time constraints at the Tribeca Film Festival, and in ABC's television airing to fit the two-hour time slot with commercials."
- "The deleted footage put back into the film" - suggest "The reinstated footage".
Done
- "included the highly anticipated...cameos" - remove "highly anticipated" as it's not neutral.
Done
Soundtrack
- Why is this a sub-section of Release? I'd give it its own section and move it after Reception.
- Well, the film had it's own soundtrack release, so it would be best if it was in the distribution section. Limetolime talk to me • look what I did! 01:19, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
- "The album was released under the title The Best of Muppets featuring The Muppets' Wizard of Oz as it wasn't a single soundtrack to the film. Instead, it was a commemorative album featuring the Muppets' greatest songs, but included songs from the film." - needs rewording and includes a contraction ("wasn't"). Suggest something like "The album was titled The Best of Muppets featuring The Muppets' Wizard of Oz. It was not a film-specific soundtrack, but a commemorative album featuring the Muppets' greatest songs, including songs from this film."
Done
- Song titles should be in quotes (e.g. "Kansas" - Ashanti).
Done
Reception
- This section seems over-sourced. For example, if you have an entire sentence that's from one reference, you only need to place one reference at the end, not one after each comma and the end.
- "based on 7 reviews" - should be "seven".
Done
- "50% of users gave the film positive ratings, based on 52 ratings." - remove this, users' opinions should not be
included, only reviewers. Done
- "At Yahoo! Movies, the film earned a B- with users, based on 301 ratings." - remove this, as above.
Done
- "For it's short comings" - no need for an apostrophe in "its", and "shortcomings" is one word.
Done
- "although Ashanti can sing, she can't act" - no contractions outside of quotes, change to "cannot".
Done
- Remove the italics from quotes.
Done
- Do you have any figures for DVD/VHS sales? If you can find some, that would be great.
Awards & nominations
- The film hasn't won any awards and has only one nomination, so a sub-section is unnecessary. I would add this information in paragraph form to the Reception section. Perhaps something like "The film was nominated for a Primetime Emmy in 200X in the Outstanding Music and Lyrics category. The nominated song was "When I'm With You" (song names are in quotes, not italics), written by soundtrack composer Michael Giacchino. The category was won by X. (Just to clarify that the song didn't win, and say which song won instead.)
Done
References
- OK, some of these references are a little sketchy. Is Tough Pigs a reliable source? I would suggest not and those references should be replaced. Most of them are OK though, especially once you've removed the pricing information. If this were an article about something scientific or controversial, you'd have to use much better sources. However, this is about a recent telemovie, it's not particularly controversial and it's not going to appear in academic peer-reviewed journals. You still need verifiable sources, as that's an essential Wikipedia policy, but the requirements are not as stringent.
- Because Tough Pigs merely displays the television images, the source is just fine. Limetolime talk to me • look what I did! 01:45, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
- Some of the articles linked to have publication dates, which should be included in the citations.
- I suggest you add "|2" after "reflist" which will split it into two columns (that sometimes doesn't work in Internet Explorer, but if it sometimes does work, and works in other browsers, then it's worth it).
I also suggest you set up some redirects from The Muppets Wizard of Oz and The Muppets' Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Not necessary for GA, but anything that helps people get straight to the article is a good thing. Good job so far, and best of luck addressing the changes during the next week. :) Somno (talk) 03:37, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
- I have improved all that is marked "done" above, and I believe that it is ready for GA status. Limetolime talk to me • look what I did! 01:45, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
- You still need to address a couple of things (esp. "in hopes for a successful turn in the ratings by the time the new telefilm hits the air.") but I agree, it's ready for GA. Congrats! :) Somno (talk) 03:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)