Talk:The Longing/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Blue Pumpkin Pie (talk · contribs) 23:01, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

There are some key issues that are preventing it from getting GA. I don't think all of these can be taken care of within a week's time from the point of this review, but I'll give you time to make all the necessary changes. If you come close to completing I may extend the time.Blue Pumpkin Pie ^Chat ^Contribs 10:52, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

LEAD SECTION

There is no need to mention stylization if it's all caps. Any other stylization needs to be verified by multiple sources in order for it to be mentioned. And even if it can be verified, it won't be in the lead directly, it would be added in as a note.

The lead doesn't give any development information at all. It seems to be a key piece of information of the article that the game is based on a real legend/myth.

"The game is notable in that the 400 days progress in real time, regardless of the game being open or not." (First of real time is spelled as "real-time". Second, there should be a clearer way of stating this)

The game isn't considered to be critically acclaimed simply for having positive reviews. All reviewers have to give exceptionally high praise for the game and win multiple awards. Since there are very few reviews and one of them giving it an above-average score rating, this isn't considered to receive critical acclaim.

GAMEPLAY SECTION

"The player's main goals are driven by a to-do list of things to improve the Shade's life; however, no interaction with the game world is required to advance the timer, as it continues regardless of what actions are taken and increments independently of the game being open, although time advances faster in the Shade's home depending on how well-furnished it is, as well as while performing certain actions such as drawing." This is the longest-running sentence in the gameplay and it quickly becomes confusing to read. It's to the point that I have to re-read it again to try to make sense of it. Please break up the sentence into multiple points.

The tone of the gameplay section. Here's a list of subordinating conjunctions that I noticed that should be avoided: "But", "However", "Although", "at least". Also, avoid unnecessary adverbs such as "simply".

DEVELOPMENT SECTION

There is a severe lack of development information on the article. The lead is supposed to reflect the information of the article, but only the lead mentions that the game is developed by Studio Seufz. In addition, there are names being mentioned such as Anselm Pyta, but no context as to who he is. Only the infobox mentions who he is (which is part of the lead). Gameindustry.biz source offers a lot of information on what the developers' goal was for the game and what themes they were aiming for. I'm not entirely sure this was well researched either as I found another source that gives more details (Gamasutra source).

Once again, I need to remind that the lead section is a summary of the body of the article doesn't provide when this game was released, on what platform (PC, Xbox One, PS4?) and if it was on PC, how was it distributed (If digital-only, was it released on Steam?). It may be important to convert the "Development" section into a "Development and release" section.

RECEPTION SECTION

The reviews are reduced to one sentence. Some of these reviews had both positive and negative things to say about the game, and both should be highlighted even if the game was received positively. If you notice that the reviewers have a common opinion, it's also worth highlighting.

With the Reception section so short, there is no need for a table to list the awards and nominations. Make a paragraph instead of what was nominated and what awards were received. This is also taking account of the potential for expansion on the reviewer's commentary.

Lastly, make sure all the links are archived to preserve information. This isn't necessary, but it's definitely welcomed. We have no idea when a website will be erased.

Thank you for your review. I've fixed the problems that I felt I could. Harmonia per misericordia. OmegaFallon (talk) 18:17, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

On the topic of stylisation, I don't think it's standard to not note all caps (Fez (video game)). Same for subordinating conjunctions, I'm not aware of any policy that states you shouldn't use them. Harmonia per misericordia. OmegaFallon (talk) 20:24, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TMRULES clearly states to avoid all cap stylization. This was a topic in the past regarding Kingdom Hearts.the way they are being used in this article are clearly giving a "personal" tone. Avoiding those types of subordinating conjunctions can help give a more objective and encyclopedic tone.

I see barely any fixes were made at all to the article. Are you absolutely sure you can't make any more fixes? if not, i'll have to fail it.Blue Pumpkin Pie ^Chat ^Contribs 16:14, 15 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Honestly most of it is just that I personally disagree with a lot of your points. If you think it's failed, go ahead and fail it. I've made all the improvements I see as necessary. Harmonia per misericordia. OmegaFallon (talk) 16:48, 15 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Also, I fail to see anything in WP:TMRULES that supports what you said. In fact, it says "...which may include simple stylization, like capitalization changes". Harmonia per misericordia. OmegaFallon (talk) 16:53, 15 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Very well then. Then the review has ended. And this is a quick fail.Blue Pumpkin Pie ^Chat ^Contribs 16:58, 15 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]