Talk:The Little Mermaid (1989 film)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk · contribs) 01:16, 9 June 2014 (UTC)

Overview

Prose: See below Resolved

Sourcing: See below Resolved

Coverage: See below Resolved

Neutrality: See below Resolved

Stability: No issues

GA Result: On Hold for seven days Passed

Details

Plot

• "Ariel, a sixteen-year-old mermaid princess, is dissatisfied with life under the sea and curious about the human world" would read better as something like "A sixteen-year-old mermaid princess named Ariel is unhappy with underwater life and curious about human life on land"
• "travel to the ocean surface to watch a celebration for the birthday of Prince Eric on a ship, with whom Ariel falls in love"..... how about just "travel to the ocean surface to watch Prince Eric celebrate his birthday" and "Ariel falls in love with Eric"?
• "the unconscious Eric" → "an unconscious Eric"
• "Despite her claims that she's doing this"..... avoid contractions unless part of a quote or title
• "out of the kindness of her heart"..... a bit lengthy, let's go with simply "out of kindness"
• "disguises herself as a beautiful young woman"..... the "beautiful" bit seems POV
• Not sure everyone reading this will automatically known what a "polyp" in "Triton transforms into a polyp" is supposed to mean, try a different word Never mind on this one
• "Eric kills Ursula by running her through the abdomen with the ship's splintered bowsprit" is somewhat wordy, try "Eric stabs and kills Ursula with the ship's splintered bowsprit".

Cast

• Is there any particular reason detail is given on Ariel and no other characters? Either expand on the other characters or remove the extended detail for her.
• Only the voices for Ariel and "additional voices" are supported citations. The rest need to be cited.

Production

Story development

• "but was put on hold due to various circumstances" → "but was delayed due to various circumstances"
• Place a comma between "1985" and Ron Clements
• "Walt Disney Studios chairman" isn't needed as it has already been established that Katzenberg was CEO
• "approved of" would be a term for "greenlit"
• Per WP:OVERITE, refs doesn't need to be used twice in a row in the third paragraph, take out the instance after "sea witch" where ref#11 is used, and ref#12 should just be used at the end of the paragraph

Animation

• More WP:OVERCITE- ref#13 should only be used at the end of "paint support to Mermaid" in first paragraph, ref#9 shouldn't be used after the bit on Alyssa Milano, ref#17 should just be used after the "replaced by Carroll" bit, ref#9 should just be used once at the end of the fourth paragraph, and only once at the end of the fifth paragraph

Music

• Even more WP:OVERCITE- ref#16 should just be used at the end of the paragraph
• I'd add another paragraph's worth of information to this subsection- one paragraph alone seems imbalanced with the other subsections of "Production". Actually, on second thought the link to its soundtrack will do.

Release

Home media

• "home video releases in May 1990, eight months after the release of the film"..... if this film was released November 1989, than this should say six months

Reception

Box office

• Remove ref#2 after the "additional gross" bit per WP:OVERCITE

Critical reception

• IGN should not be italicized

Controversy

• I'd either expand these two short paragraphs or merge them into one

References

• IMDb is not reliable turns out this ref was simply mistitled and actually was from Box Office Mojo
• "YouTube.com" should be YouTube
• Entertainment Weekly should be linked in the first instance it is used in a ref, but not in subsequent Entertainment Weekly refs.
• "festival-cannes.com." should read "Festival-Cannes", and shouldn't be italicized if an online only source
• The New York Times should be italicized and linked in the first instance it is used in a ref, but not linked in subsequent refs to The New York Times
• Something doesn't look quite right in ref#34 (stray text)
• "Movies.yahoo.com." should read Yahoo! Movies
• Rotten Tomatoes shouldn't be italicized as it is online only
• Chicago Sun-Times should be linked and italicized
• "tvguide.com" should read TV Guide and be italicized
• Variety should be linked and italicized
• "Nytimes.com" should read The New York Times

Ok, i fixed it all. Koala15 (talk) 19:44, 10 June 2014 (UTC)

I struck all that has been fixed, Koala15, but the rest still need addressing. Don't worry- you've still got time! XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:26, 10 June 2014 (UTC)

Ok, i think that should cover it, and the Rotten Tomatoes source looks like it has italics but it doesn't. Koala15 (talk) 02:18, 11 June 2014 (UTC)

GA! XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 02:50, 11 June 2014 (UTC)