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GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 19:07, 17 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

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  • I would put the Japanese title as a footnote. See Sonic Forces an an example of this. I think it is better to put the Japanese title in a footnote as it takes up a lot of space in the prose.
  • This part, "Part of The King of Fighters (KOF) series, SNK", is grammatically incorrect as it identifies SNK as part of of The King of Fighters (KOF) series and not The King of Fighters XIV.
    • Done
  • What do you mean by "mainline" in this part, "the first mainline The King of Fighters game rendered entirely in 3D"?
  • I'd link to port (video gaming) in this part, "and ported it to Microsoft Windows".
    • Done
  • I'd link to arcade cabinet in this part, "Japanese arcade cabinets in June 2017".
    • Done
  • I would simplify the following part, "sought to reorient the company towards traditional video games", by just saying "reoriented the company toward traditional video games".
    • Done
  • For this part, "directed the game. The game retains the series' system", I'd avoid ending a sentence and then starting the next sentence with the same words as it is repetitive.
    • Done
  • I'd link to patch (computing) in this part, "patches to improve the game's visuals".
    • Done
  • Please add ALT text to the infobox image.
    • Done.

I'll be reviewing this section-by-section. Feel free to either respond to my comments as I post or wait until I have posted the full review. Aoba47 (talk) 20:12, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

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  • Add ALT text to the image.
    • Done
  • Remove the period from the image caption as it is not a full sentence.
    • Done
  • I was going to copy-edit this section since I was confused by the "updates" and "the formula used in previous installments" parts in the first paragraph. I checked the citation, and it does not appear to support most of this paragraph. It does not talk about the 3D models (and any comparison to The King of Fighters: Maximum Impact), the 2D backgrounds (and any comparisons to Street Fighter IV), the three-character fight team, or Antonov and Verse as bosses. The citation does talk about pre-fight interactions. I am stopping my review here to get further clarification. Aoba47 (talk) 21:07, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • Reworded and referenced.

@Aoba47: Thanks for the review. I tried addressing all problems you found. Good luck with that FAC too.Tintor2 (talk) 22:17, 18 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thank you for the responses so far. I still have a question about the "mainline" part. I will post my comments for the remainder of the "Gameplay" section sometime tonight and possibly get to the "Plot" section as well since it is short. Aoba47 (talk) 00:15, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • What are EX special moves?
    • Exokauubed
  • What are the power gauges?
    • Explained
  • As someone who has never played this series, this sentence, "The game also features the "Just Defend" mechanic from Garou: Mark of the Wolves.", does not mean a lot of to me. What is the "Just Defend" mechanic, and why is it in quotations?
    • Reword.
  • As someone who has never played The King of Fighters XIII, this part, "The game is designed to be played like The King of Fighters XIII during Max mode", is not immediately clear to me.
    • Removed
  • Why is "Rush Combo" in quotations? Also in the third paragraph, you use "Rush Combo", Rush, and Rush system. Are these all referring to the same thing or different things?
    • Fixed
  • Is there any further information about these online modes?

My main concern about this section is there it assumes that the player has played this game or a game in the series. I think there needs to be further clarification on what some of this jargon means. Aoba47 (talk) 03:37, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

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  • I do not think the references are necessary as you can use the game as the primary source.
    • Done.
  • For this sentence, "The story of The King of Fighters XIV takes place a few years after the events of The King of Fighters XIII.", I'd cut out "the story of".
    • Done
  • What is "the King of Fighters brand"?
    • Reworded
  • From my experience, a plot section focuses more on providing a summary of the storyline so an out-of-universe sentence like "For the story mode, SNK wrote 16 prologues focused on each team before they enter the competition." does not really fit here.
  • Should the plot summary mention anything that happens in these prologues?
    • Removed. The prologues are only in the official website.
    • All KOFs tend to do that prologues but only in the official website. I fear fancruft considering how many characters are in the story.
  • For this part, "the player faces Antonov", I'd use something like "the chosen team". I am not sure about referencing the player directly in a plot summary like this.
    • Done
  • I'd find a way to avoid repeating "Following Verse's defeat, some characters go into missions to confront people revived through Verse" twice in the same sentence. Aoba47 (talk) 03:45, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • Done.

Characters

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  • I thought Citation 12 was used in the summary sentence to cover the entire list so I am confused on why it is used for some characters later on.
  • Why do Oswald and Heidern have separate citations? It just seems odd to cited a majority of the characters with one citation except for two of them. Aoba47 (talk) 04:09, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: To avoid an overkill: there reference covers the in game cast who are all shown in that url. The DLC characters are not present in that url.Tintor2 (talk) 15:44, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Development

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  • For the first sentence, I'd avoid having "decision" and "decided" in the same sentence as it is repetitive. I'd revise the beginning part, "The decision to create The King of Fighters XIV was made", to something like, "The King of Fighters XIV was developed".
    • Done
  • You use SNK in the lead, but SNK Playmore in this section.
    • Done (left a note about how the company was previously called SNK Playmore)
  • The article still goes back and forth between SNK and SNK Playmore. I think it is better to go with one or the other consistently. I'd remove the note and be consistent with one way or the other. Aoba47 (talk) 23:53, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • For these two sentence, "The company did not want to add a new system to the game, but made some changes in response to The King of Fighters XIII; the company had yet to decide whether they would update the game or leave it as a single release followed by sequels.", I'd avoid starting with "the company" twice.
    • Done.

Engine

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  • In this sentence, "Oda claimed the KOF franchise was unique for its fast-paced combat and how players have to react to the game's mechanics, thus providing a unique experience.", remove "thus providing a unique experience" as the "unique" aspect is already made clear by the earlier part in the sentence.
    • Done.
  • This sentence, "During his first employment at SNK, games like Virtua Fighter motivated him to make a 3D game after his departure.", is grammatically incorrect. It is tying together "During his first employment at SNK," to "games like Virtua Fighter" and not Oda.
    • Done
  • I am not entirely sure what you mean by this sentence: (While the character of Leona Heidern was hard, Chang Koehan was easier in comparison based on their different models.). Could you clarify what you mean by "hard" and "easier"?
    • Some were hard, some were easy.
  • Who is Neo_G?
    • A developer behind. Some do not use their real names
  • Could you clarify what negative feedback the team received about the game's graphic and what they changed to please fans? Aoba47 (talk) 17:26, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • Revised. I think they were afraid of graphics not common for the cast.

Cast

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  • I am not sure what this sentence means, (Oda said they "Kyo-ify" the new cast members to produce originality in the game.), specifically the phrase "Kyo-ify".
    • Fixed. It's kinda a coin term based on Kyo's appeal.
  • I'd rephrase this sentence, (Having only a few designers on staff, art director Nobuyuki Kuroki found this "unfair"), to something like the following: (Art director Nobuyuki Kuroki found it unfair that only a few designers were included on the staff.) I'd avoid quoting single words like "unfair" as it is not necessary.
    • Done
  • For this sentence, (Keisuke Ogura created Shun'ei, one of the new characters, to bring a different style and appeal to newcomers to the series), is there any clarification about this different style and appeal?
    • Done. Shortnened the page
  • For this sentence, (he also drew Sylvie and redrew Athena), I'd use "redesigned" to avoid having drew/redrew in the same sentence.
    • Reworded-
  • I'd move the Sylvie/Athene sentence after these parts: (Kuroki denied Shun'ei was the new story arc's protagonist, but said he is still important to the game. The staff wanted his characterization to contrast with those of the previous protagonists). That way the Shun'ei sentences would be grouped together while also keeping the redesign parts in one area.
  • Reworded
  • I am not certain what this sentence means: (SNK was satisfied with the way the Chinese market received the game.) How did China receive this game?
    • Added mention.
  • I do not think this sentence, (The staff had no plans to make additional characters.), is necessary.
    • Done
  • This part, (Before being added as DLC characters, staff also considered), is not grammatically correct as it is identifying the staff as the DLC characters.
  • I'd avoid having "staff" repeated twice in the same sentence as done here: (staff also considered Blue Mary and Ryuji Yamazaki from the Fatal Fury series for the base roster, but the staff).
    • Done-
  • This section uses "staff" quite a bit and I'd look for ways to vary that.
    • Reworded
  • I am confused by this sentence, (Staff considered Rock Howard from Garou: Mark of the Wolves for inclusion but found it complicated because Mark of the Wolves takes place years after Geese's death in the Fatal Fury series.) because it is not clear how Geese's death affects Rock Howard's inclusion
    • Reworded. Rock's story is kinda tied to Geese so they instead added him as DLC.
  • This part needs further revision because the prose is awkwardly constructed. I am also still confused about what is being conveyed here. How does the fact that this story takes place before Geese Hoard's death affect whether or not Rock Howard would be included in the game? Aoba47 (talk) 00:00, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • Gave it another touch.

Demos and release

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  • I've normally seen the release section be its own thing rather than a subsection under development. I'd turn this into a "Release" section instead.
    • Done
  • Remove the period from the image caption as it is not a full sentence, and add ALT text.
    • Done
  • Would it be beneficial to identify the character shown in this screenshot?
    • Done
  • I'd move the image down to be next to (or at least closer to) the text discussing the update.
    • Moved
  • This part, (for fans to try), does not seem necessary to me.
    • Done
  • For this part, (The demo ran from July 15 to August 21, 2016.), I'd say "was available" instead of "ran".
    • Dpme
  • I'd avoid starting these two sentences with the same subject: "The demo ran from July 15 to August 21, 2016" and "The demos balanced the characters and avoided overpowered ones."
    • Done
  • Remove the Geese Howard link here and move up to where he is first mentioned in the article. I'd also link him and Terry Bogard in the gameplay screenshot.
    • Done
  • Unlink Athena Asamiya here and move the link up to the first mention of the character in the article.
    • Done
  • The word "revelation" sounds weird in this context: (fans leaked Rock's revelation as DLC). Aoba47 (talk) 19:11, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • Reworded.

@Aoba47: Thanks for the comments.Tintor2 (talk) 20:55, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Critical response

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  • For this sentence, (However, Destructoid felt it not reach the appeal of The King of Fighters XIII), did the source specify how the game did not reach the potential of its predecessor?
    • Reworded
  • This sentence, (GamesRadar thought the story mode too basic, dismissing it as little more than an arcade mode.), is good, but it is out-of-place in a section about the critiques on the graphics.
    • Reworded
  • I did not ask for this part to be reworded. The original wording is better. This part should be moved to a different section as it does not fit the topic of the second paragraph. The same comment applies for this sentence: (Destructoid felt it not reach the appeal of its predecessor due to its lack of narrative). It may be better to break up the second paragraph since it loses focus. See the following essay (Wikipedia:Copyediting reception sections) for advice on how to handle these reception sections. Once this has been completed, I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 23:43, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • You say the Steam port received better reviews, but it seems like the original game already received positive reviews, and the PCMrace sentence reads more like a mixed review to me. The sentence about the expensive price is also a criticism. Also, in this paragraph, you refer to critics plural but only have one citation to support this. This paragraph in particular has quite a few issues.
    • Reworded
    • @Aoba47: Gave it a try. Now the reception is divided like this:
  • Gameplay
  • Plot
  • Visuals

Hope this helps.Tintor2 (talk) 00:42, 21 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Legacy

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  • In the second paragraph, avoid having multiple sentences begin with dates (i.e. "In February 2018", "In November 2018", and "In December 2018") as it makes the prose less engaging to read.
    • Done
  • The third paragraph mentions a 2018 release and then a 2019 release and then jumps back to a 2017 release. Is there a reason for this? It seems strange to me to not put this information in chronological order.
    • Reworded

@Aoba47: Never heard references should have italics but still did it. Not sure if I did everything so tell me if I missed anything in particular once you are back.Tintor2 (talk) 20:15, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

References

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  • Please put all instances of King of Fighters XIV and King of Fighters in italics for the citation titles. I believe even if the published article title doesn't follow that protocol.
    • I think I covered all
  • Reference 46 does go to a FaceBook post where Oda says he is "feeling pissed off", but he does not explicitly specify the reason.
  • IGN is in italics in some citations and not in others. Same for SNK.
    • Fixed
    • Revised.
  • Avoid putting words in all caps, as done in citations 28, 30, 33, and 37 (for some instances of this).
  • Reference 55 does not include the work/publisher. Same for Reference 68.
    • Done
  • Game Informer should be in italics for reference 74. Famitsu should also be italics in citation 11.
    • Done
  • Citation 21 and 22 have different spellings for the same website.
    • Fixed
  • Is there an ISBN number for The King of Fighters XIV artbook? Also, shouldn't it be Artbook?
    • No, it wasvsold with the game

Thank you for your patience with the review. Please let me know if there is anything that needs clarification. This is everything that I noticed while reading the article. Once everything is addressed, I will pass this. Hope you are having a good week so far! Aoba47 (talk) 00:29, 20 October 2020 (UTC) @Aoba47: Gave it a revision. Not sure if everything was properly addressed though.Tintor2 (talk) 12:41, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I will  Pass this now. Good work. Aoba47 (talk) 01:52, 21 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]