Talk:The Idolmaster Dearly Stars/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Tezero (talk · contribs) 15:29, 18 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one; I've got nothing else to do but wait for reviews of my own stuff. I can see this is an old project of yours; good work reviving it with little effort. Tezero (talk) 15:29, 18 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

First comment: can you find a source for the second paragraph of Related media? It's specific information that doesn't fall under anything like WP:BLUE or the Plot immunity. I'll come up with any more comments I have later. Tezero (talk) 15:29, 18 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, what's a "raising simulation game"? I've never heard that term before, and it just links to "life simulation game" anyway.
What's an idol? Are Ai, Eri, and Ryo pop idols? Widely admired public figures? Statues of deities? Why isn't it introduced right away that they are pop idols?
"current popularity trends in vocal, dance and visual image, which gives the player a guide on how to gain popularity" - can you give an example? Wearing certain clothes? Singing at certain pitches? Singing certain genres of music? Are trends in all of these areas shown at the same time? If so, is there only one of each at a time?
I'm not sure I really understand: what do you actually do to increase the pass rate during an audition?
How is this a prequel to The Idolmaster 2? That game came out later.
Er... does "archetype" need to be linked? Is there a reason it is?
"which serve as epilogues to the events from the video game." - is there a source for this? I could be persuaded otherwise, but it doesn't seem like completely obvious information.
"The game is praised for being easier to empathize with an idol when the story is told from their perspective." - ...Praised by one person? It just looks like a Famitsu review, unless (I haven't checked, and my Japanese isn't as great as I'd like) that review specifically mentions other critics' opinions. As it stands, it's far too general for the evidence, like how people always seem to say all Pokémon fans hate Generation 3 when that's actually a small minority.
"Miyokawa describes the movement of the idols during performances as "better than expected," and praises the change in perspective during performances to show the audience waving glow sticks" - tense?
"While another reviewer for 4Gamer could not deny the lower visual quality of the performances compared to previous Idolmaster games, the unexpectedly high sound quality of the songs in combination with well-done dance sequences, albeit on a small screen, was praised as being "thoroughly enjoyable."" - Was praised by this 4Gamer reviewer?
"Miyotaka suggests that that Ryō may have been created to lessen any sense of awkwardness that male players would feel from playing as female idols, but upon playing his scenario, Miyotaka notes that the player is naturally able to get into the story, in part due to the comical events surrounding Ryō's story that deal with him cross-dressing" - Tense?

Keeping on hold until fixes and/or responses come in. Take your time. Tezero (talk) 18:27, 18 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

First of all, thanks for taking the time to review the article.

I'm not sure what you mean by the second paragraph of Related media. Are you talking about sourcing who hosted the radio show?

"The show was streamed online on Niconico's channel Tarukitei, and was hosted by Haruka Tomatsu (Ai Hidaka), Kana Hanazawa (Eri Mizutani) and Yuuko Sanpei (Ryō Akizuki). The special episode was hosted by Eriko Nakamura (Haruka Amami) and video game producer Yōzō Sakagami." - This. It shouldn't be too hard to find sources - if it is, is this worth mentioning in the article? Tezero (talk) 23:08, 18 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Well, [1] and [2] both mention that the show features the "voice actors" from the game (the official blog entry also says they're the voice actors of the 3 new idols) but neither source mentions them by name, and neither say anything about who hosted the special episode. I guess it doesn't have to be mentioned in the article.--十八 00:14, 19 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll pass the GAN for now. If you want to include it, there might be something else in the way of primary sources out there - the information had to come from somewhere. Tezero (talk) 01:10, 19 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Perhaps it would be better to just describe the game as a "life simulation", since it depicts the life of the idols as they come up in the entertainment industry.
Clarified what "idol" refers to.
Regarding the current popularity trends, I added: "...the player is shown current popularity trends in vocal, dance and visual image ranked first, second and third in popularity. This gives the player a guide on how to gain popularity by augmenting an idol's statistics via the choice of song they will perform and what costumes they wear during an audition."
The pass rate during an audition is related to the judge's interest level, which can be increased with a minigame. I'll attempt to clarify this.
I guess prequel isn't the right word. I'll just change it to "its timeline coincides before the events in The Idolmaster 2."
Delinked archetype.
I removed "which serve as epilogues to the events from the video game."
Clarified Famitsu review.
Tense fixed in both instances.
Clarified that it was the 4Gamer reviewer.

--十八 21:40, 18 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]