Talk:The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: hamiltonstone (talk) 03:45, 19 November 2009 (UTC) The article is neutral, stable, generally well written, covers the relevant topics, and the only image used appears to be in order. The referencing looks good.

Specific points

• i have undertaken some copyediting and corrections, which other editors may wish to check, and a shift of some text from lead to body to ensure closer compliance with WP:LEAD.
• "she mentioned that the melody from the song sounded similar to a Shaker hymn that the choir would sing in church." Can someone check the source to see whether she meant her church, or did she just mean that Shaker choirs in general would sing them in churches?
• The Composition section is the only problematic area.

• It is very disjointed and does not begin with the general features of the composition (genre, total length, number of sections), but instead with some trivia. There is also no apparent connection betweeen the writer's meditation and ambitious song writing, making that whole sentence read very strangely. My own preference would be simply to delete "...when questioned about how practising Vipassanā affects his music...", but happy to discuss.
• Given that the themes are mostly bands or composers, the naming of the first theme is tricky. It is referred to in the article as "Live", which to me meant the band of that name, but the link is piped to Concert. Is there a better way of handling this? Why not call the first theme "Live concert" and link to concert?
• Is there any more information about the composition available from reliable sources? Tempos? Key signatures? Any clues in sources as to why the sections are linked to the particular titles (eg. what's Jeff Buckley-ish about the section called Jeff Buckley?)

• Can someone check if the spelling errors in the Weezer blog quote are there in the original (isnt; its)
• "However, Weezer did film a video for the song through MTV." Can this be explained. What is meant by the wording that they filmed a video "through" MTV?
• "Rivers is dressed as a gym teacher" Uh-huh. Why do we care what clothes he is wearing? Suggest delete, or fully summarise the clip.

Looks good overall, apart from the issues with the composition section, and I'll drop in to see how things are going. Thanks, hamiltonstone (talk) 03:45, 19 November 2009 (UTC)

Unfortunately you may have to fail this I'm just too busy to devote any serious time to this article. I will address these and renominate sometime during the Christmas holidays. Spiderone 11:30, 21 November 2009 (UTC)

OK, as you appear to be the only substantive editor to the article, and at your request, i will fail this GA nom. If you get around to addressing the above points and re-nominating it, you can let me know and i might be able to review it without the usual two-month wait :-) hamiltonstone (talk) 04:26, 24 November 2009 (UTC)