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Talk:The Clash of Triton/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Zanimum (talk · contribs) 00:05, 26 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • "The episode follows King Neptune as he celebrate his 5,000th birthday, but he is depressed about his long-disowned son, Triton." should be celebrates plural, but even still, the sentence could be phrased better.
    •  Fixed
      • Works now.
  • "SpongeBob sets out to make things right as only he can.” As a SpongeBob fan, I totally get what you're implying in the phrasing. That said, the article should stand alone, people should be able to get a general sense of the episode if they've never seen the series before.
    •  Fixed
      • Looks good now.

Plot summary

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I'll review this in a bit.

I haven't had a chance to go through the plot summary yet, but the rest of the article is a pass.

Production

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  • Brown Johnson's quote, does it add anything? Why is Banks' opinion of Beckham's performance and goal of meeting her not up further, with the discussion of her role?
    •  Done? I think it's OK now.
      • I like the way you've reformatted Johnson's quote, but I was asking you to reply here whether the article benefited from this quote, defend its inclusion. To me, all it says is "I'm the boss with the fancy title, and I think my employees did a good job on this episode I may not have ever seen, but my secretary has, and she wrote this quote." It's just a usual press release quote. Do you think it adds to the reader's understanding of the production of the episode?
        • As part of this production, we must include what the people from the superiority have said. Even though it wasn't that really "something" and the quotation might not came from her, I think we should include this quotation.
      • Beckham's fine.
  • Is it only on that one DVD?
    •  Done added it up.
      • Good stuff.

I've made additional edits.

Thanks! :)

Reception

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  • I can't load up The Mommy Files.
    • I've checked the link here and it seems that the link has no problems. I've also accessed the link and there was nothing wrong about it.
      •  Fixed It does seem to load today. Maybe they were just having server problems the other night.
  • The bonus episode of Fan Boy and Chum Chum isn't mentioned in the productions section.
    •  Fixed
      • Sorry, I think you might have read this as "shouldn't be mentioned". Gord Lacey's quote can stay whole, I was meaning when you're talking about what other episodes were on the DVD release with the same name as this episode, you should mention that an episode from Fan Boy and Chum Chum was included as a bonus feature. In total, there should be two reference to this bonus feature.

-- Zanimum (talk) 00:05, 26 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again Zanimum for taking this article for review! :) I hope the article meets the GA standards, and be promoted. Thanks again! :) Mediran (tc) 11:12, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Just to check back in, I've been cleaning up the plot section on another system that I don't have access to right now, but presumably that'll be ready tomorrow. -- Zanimum (talk) 23:16, 1 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

So, I've summarized the episode, based on your writing (you'll see a number of sentence fragments are still used), based on the visuals only of a strange fan-dubbed upload on YouTube, and the episode transcript on SB SP Wiki over on Wikia. I feel that many of the details you included were to trivial for the article (such as who unlocked the second cage) and ambiguities like "everyone else" in a cell... I was thinking all the townsfolk were included, not just a handful of regulars plus the gods. There were also a number of grammatical errors in the passage as it was. It's your weakest section of the article, easily. The rest was strong, plot, not so much. Feel free to edit my revision, if there's anything I misinterpreted, having not seen the actual episode.
Either way, the article is now in GA shape. Congrats! -- Zanimum (talk) 00:14, 3 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]