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Talk:The Boy Band Con: The Lou Pearlman Story

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Muddiness re recitation of relevant people

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Y'all've started out w/ a list of significant people which invites a vague impression that they're in alpha order. Not your fault, but jarring. IMNSHO, the topic is getting sold short, not from lack of significance nor sloppy writing, but just bcz readers may get off to a rough start and lose interest before they've gotten a decent sniff of the content. I'd try to avoid looking clumsy, or stiff, in the first sentence or so. — son of User:Jerzy 173.220.230.26 (talk) 02:48, 22 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]