Talk:The Boat Race 1982/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Dom497 (talk · contribs) 12:29, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Will start review later today.--Dom497 (talk) 12:29, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"In the reserve race, Isis beat Goldie..." - Probably better to put this, "In the reserve race, Oxford's Isis beat Cambridge's Goldie" given that it is the first time Isis/Goldie are mentioned. Then, in the "Background" section, if you want, you can change, "The reserve race, contested between Oxford's Isis boat and Cambridge's Goldie boat has been held since 1965." to "The reserve race, contested between Isis and Goldie has been held since 1965." for the sack of repetition.--Dom497 (talk) 20:13, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, done, but kept the later text the same, it's fine to repeat details from the lead. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:24, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The Oxford crew weighed an average of just below 14 st per rower..." - Use the Convert template for 14 st to lb (pounds).
Added conversion, not necessarily using the template, but the same result. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:24, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
For the same sentence mentioned above, use the same units. (Oxford is going from st to lb (after you add the convert template) while Cambridge is going lb to kg).
I don't get it. It's always Imperial (metric)... The Rambling Man (talk) 20:24, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Oxford's crew also contained the Clay twins, Robert and Hugh." - I'm not a fan of single sentence paragraphs. :)
Merged. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:24, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
For the crew table, use the Convert template (and make sure units that are being converted are the same throughout the entire article; per my 2nd point).
I will if you show me how to use the convert template to go from stones and pounds to kilos. Thanks. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:24, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Don't worry about the table, I confused myself of what a "stone" is.--Dom497 (talk) 22:47, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Will complete the review soon!--Dom497 (talk) 20:13, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, responded above. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:24, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Conversions

Most of my points right now are about the conversions so I figured I shgould just merge everything here. All I'm trying to say is to convert to and from the same units. For example, in the "Crews" section, at one point you are converting st to kg and at another point you are converting lb to kg. It should either be st to kg or lb to kg for BOTH. Then, in the table....wait a sec. Never mind about the table!--Dom497 (talk) 22:47, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

No, I don't agree. It doesn't make sense when talking about a few pounds converted to kg to make it some decimal fraction of stones. Moreover, the original sources use stones and pounds, and pounds. I only convert them out of courtesy to the non-Imperial readers. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:24, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Gave it a second thought a agree that we should avoid the decimals.--Dom497 (talk) 19:36, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Round 2

"The umpire for the race was Michael Muir-Smith,[11] and conditions were calm: Jim Railton of The Times described the course as "a smooth and flat Queen's highway from Putney to Mortlake." - This sentence reads awkward. In the first part you go from the umpire to the conditions (what do the two have to do with each other?). I think, "The umpire for the race was Michael Muir-Smith." can stand as its own sentence. Then you can say, "Conditions on the race day were calm and Jim Railton...".--Dom497 (talk) 23:11, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Reworded. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Oxford were clear pre-race favourites." - Why/How were they clear favourites?--Dom497 (talk) 23:11, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Used direct phrase from source. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...and passing the Mile Post a second..." - Do you mean "one second" or something else?--Dom497 (talk) 23:11, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, I mean "one second". The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...barely a second apart..." - This is me being extremely picky but is "barely" a neutral word? Maybe you can just say "under one second"?
Ok, did add some flavour to the prose, but removed. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...Oxford quickly gaining a length's lead..." - I don't think the apostrophe should be there.--Dom497 (talk) 23:11, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
It should be there. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...and a clear water advantage." - What does this mean?
The boats had clear water between them, so the boat in the lead had a clear water advantage. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"18 minutes 21 seconds" - Again, me being picky but should there be an "and" in the middle. I don't know what the proper way is. Just wanted to bring it up so I know for the future.--Dom497 (talk) 23:11, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I think it's horses for courses. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"18 minutes, 43 seconds" - Now you have a comma in the middle. What's the right way?????? :) --Dom497 (talk) 23:11, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Made consistent. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"we will have six of this crew next year ... that's a good base" - Did YOU split what he said (as in you cut out a part of what he said). If so, it should be [...] not just ... .--Dom497 (talk) 23:11, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The rivalry is a major point of honour between the two universities and followed throughout the United Kingdom and broadcast worldwide." - We're talking about 1982 here. Was THIS race broadcast worldwide? If not, I think it would be better to say, "Today, the rivalry...". But even that is a bit ify because were supposed to be talking about the background of the race, not what happens(ed) after. Right?--Dom497 (talk) 23:11, 20 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Not really. I think something like this is fine to put the race into both historical and contemporary context. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments, responses inline above. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:34, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

PASS!--Dom497 (talk) 19:40, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]