Talk:The Boat Race 1849 (December)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Dom497 (talk · contribs) 18:44, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewing now!--Dom497 (talk) 18:44, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Given that there were two races in 1849, "Held annually, the event...", doesn't really match up. Maybe something like, "Typically help once a year, the event...". Just my opinion.
Updated. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The 10th Boat Race took place on the River Thames on 15 December 1849. Held annually, the event is a side-by-side rowing race between crews from the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge along the River Thames" - No need to say that it was held on the River Thames twice.
Removed repetition. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...Oxford who triumphed over Cambridge who were disqualified." - Saying "who" twice ruins the flow of the sentance, IMO.
Tried a rephrase. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Just to add some detail into the article I guess you can throw in the following sentence from the other Boat Race article that I reviewed earlier this month (1982), "The rivalry is a major point of honour between the two universities and followed throughout the United Kingdom and broadcast worldwide."
Thing is, in 1849, it wasn't broadcast around the world... The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Haha, whoops! :)--Dom497 (talk) 20:50, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I'm tempted to add a "0" in front of the ".125 pounds..." to make it more clear when a reader is looking at the article, but I'll leave that on your discretion.
Done. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

--Dom497 (talk) 19:09, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I've addressed the concerns above and left responses in-line. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:40, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Round 2

"Oxford won the toss and elected to start from the Middlesex station" - change to this: "Oxford won the toss and elected to start from the Middlesex station, rather than the [insert name of other station here] station".
Added "leaving Cambridge with Surrey" to avoid repetition. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...the high winds were deemed to provide Cambridge with a slight advantage..." - Why? Weight? If so, add a quick mention of that.
Added quote. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Both crews were on the river..." - "On" or "in"?
On. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I remember seeing in another article an image of the layout of the course. I think it would help to put it in this article as well because I don't even have any idea of where "Searles boathouse" is.
Added. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...in preparation for shooting Hammersmith Bridge." - "shooting" in this context isn't really a NPOV.
Actually, "shooting" the bridge is commonly used in plenty of sources. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

--Dom497 (talk) 00:31, 31 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, I've addressed this round of comments. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 31 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

All seems good. Pass!--Dom497 (talk) 20:44, 1 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]