Talk:The Blackest Beautiful/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: 3family6 (talk · contribs) 03:21, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
No copyvio's that I detected through Earwig's tool.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"... still debuted in the United States at number 74 on Billboard 200 and number six on its Hard Rock Albums, with nearly five thousand copies sold." - Re-write as "still debuted in the United States at number 74 on the Billboard 200 and number six on the Hard Rock Albums chart, with nearly five thousand copies sold."--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The lead states that this was the first album with Lionel Robinson, but the recording and production sections says that Lionel only joined after the album's release.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"One of the reviewers considered grouping it as pop record due to its clear, melodic structure,[22] while others grouped it with punk rock,[3][6][23] soul,[24] funk and showing 'glimpses' of other music styles including Afrobeat, electronica and jazz.[25]" - Re-write as "Mike Diver of Clash considered it pop record with clear, melodic structure,[22] while others grouped it with punk rock,[3][6][23] soul,[24] and funk, as well as displaying 'glimpses' of other music styles including Afrobeat, electronica and jazz.[25]"--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Terry Bezer said the album has 'as much in common with funk as punk',[21] and also that the album features 'the musical dexterity and reckless abandon of razor-edged funk'.[6]" - Re-write as "Terry Bezer in Front found that the album has 'as much in common with funk as punk',[21] and wrote in Metal Hammer that the album features 'the musical dexterity and reckless abandon of razor-edged funk'.[6]"--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

With the proposed the re-write above, this following sentence should be updated: "Terry Bezer, a writer for Front magazine..." - change to simply "Bezer... ."--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"cited three primary albums as influences on the album" - re-write as "cited three albums as primary influences on the The Blackest Beautiful"--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Bezer said that it was possessing 'Prince levels of funked up cool'.[16] - Re-write as "Bezer wrote that the track possesses 'Prince levels of funked up cool'.[16]"--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"The album's lyrics are described as "politically, socially and personally conscious",[25] with themes like: corporate greed, racism and growing up in a broken home.[18]" - re-write as "The album's lyrics are described as 'politically, socially and personally conscious',[25] incorporating themes such as corporate greed, racism and growing up in a broken home.[18]"--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Channing Freeman of Sputnikmusic said the songs lack the same immediacy in comparison to those on Fake History, however, they have more longevity.[37]" - Re-write as "Channing Freeman of Sputnikmusic said while the songs lack the same immediacy in comparison to those on Fake History, they have more longevity.[37]"--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Move Freeman's comments on the album lyrics up to the rest of his review.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"However, Dave Simpson for The Guardian criticized the "adolescent, cliched lyrics", especially from the track "The Priest and Used Cars".[20]" - Re-write as "However, Dave Simpson, writing for The Guardian, criticized the album's "adolescent, cliched lyrics", especially from the track 'The Priest and Used Cars'.[20]"

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Follows MOS standards.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:
Wilce, Tamsyn (October 17, 2013). "LIVE REVIEW: letlive., Night Verses, Electric Ballroom 17/10/2013". Bring The Noise. Retrieved November 6, 2013. - This wikilink redirects to the Public Enemy song.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Some publications are missing publisher info. Some publications are not italicized, even though they are print.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Footnotes" is the title of two headings in the reference sections - perhaps call one "notes" and the other "citations"--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

B. Citations to reliable sources, where necessary:
Article is well supported with citations to reliable sources.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

C. No original research:
All content is verifiable.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
Sticks to the major aspects, all major aspects covered.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

B. Focused:
Focused, not unduly long.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Fair representation, not promotional, reflects critical consensus.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Stable, no ongoing conflicts.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
The concert photo is released under Creative Commons, and the album cover is used within fair use policy.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Sound files are also included, which this GA review template doesn't include. The two files are used correctly per fair use guidelines.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Instead of saying "as the key reason for letlive.'s chaotic and primal live performances," I think "as the key force behind for letlive.'s chaotic and primal live performances" is much better. Also, and more important to this GA review, the band name should not be italicized.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

For the second sound file caption, "Track 7 and single 'Younger' has been used by critics to highlight letlive's "staggering dynamics, brain-burrowing melodies and intelligent production tricks".[17]" could be better re-written as "the single 'Younger', the album's seventh track, highlight letlive's "staggering dynamics, brain-burrowing melodies and intelligent production tricks".[17]"--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Overall: Several minor issues with the prose, and a few other minor issues.
Pass or Fail:
I will make a further note on the prose. The article, apart from what I've noted in this review, meets GA criteria. However, for featured status, the prose still needs significant work. One major issue, which is a pain, is that the article mixes British and American English. It uses American spelling and dates, but includes some elements of British grammar. In American English, bands are referred to in the singular - "it" and "its" - unless the name is a plural (e.g. The New York Dolls). Since letlive. is singular, terms such as "they," "are," and "their" need to be made singular. If the statement is about the members collectively, that can use plural terms, but only if "band members" is specified. This will not affect the GA, so I'd encourage editors to address my GAR concerns first. However, after that is done, I'd suggest rectifying this issue.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 22:10, 15 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I believe my latest edit follows the amendments suggested here. Jonjonjohny (talk) 12:57, 18 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I did a minor copyedit. I believe that the article now meets GA criteria. Passed.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 16:46, 19 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]