Talk:The Black Mages/GA1

GA Review

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Another excellent contribution by PresN; there are some concerns, however:

Lead

In the infobox, it says: Origin = Japan. Do you know where specifically in Japan the band was formed?

The second album, The Black Mages II: The Skies Above, was released in 2004 and featured a wider array of pieces including guest vocalists Tomoaki Watanabe (as "Mr. Goo") and Kazco Hamano (as "KAZCO"), as well as "Blue Blast ~Winning the Rainbow", an original track that was created for Japanese K-1 fighter Takehiro Murahama. – “and featured a wider array of pieces including guest vocalists Tomoaki Watanabe (as "Mr. Goo") and Kazco Hamano (as "KAZCO")” indicates that Mr. Goo and KAZCO are pieces. Can you reword this a little?

For their first album they performed in Shibuya and Kanagawa, Japan in 2003 and later released a live video of the first concert on DVD exclusively to Square Enix fanclub members. – I thought it was Uematsu fanclub members. The rest of the article states that, at least.

History

To celebrate the success, Uematsu decided to organize a concert in tribute to the album; Fukui served as the keyboardist, while Sekito was the guitarist. They needed more people to perform the arrangements live, however, and as such, several other members from Square Enix joined. Keiji Kawamori joined to play the bass guitar, Michio Okamiya to play the guitar, and Arata Hanyuda to play the drums. – What instrument did Uematsu play during the tribute concert?

Discography

Like the previous album, Darkness and Starlight features an original song, "Life ~ in memory of KEITEN ~", which was written by Uematsu for Yoshitaka Tagawa, a boy he had met who died of leukemia. – Does this piece have vocals? If not, then change original song to original piece, and written by to composed by.

The album, the music of which was originally composed by Tomohito Nishiura, was released on April 21, 2004 by Team Entertainment. – This reads awkward to me, with “The album, the music”. Is there any way you can reword that?

Consider decollapsing (is that the right word?) the tracklists as they aren’t that long and the article is relatively short anyway. Here’s a test; I think it looks alright, but it’s your call if you want to change it or not. I’m saying this as it’s always brought up at FACs.

Concerts

The concert held at Shibuya-AX on April 26, 2003 and at Kanagawa on November 3, 2003 is mentioned twice in the body: in the history section and the promotional concerts section. I think once is enough.

They also played additional solos not seen in their first album. – What do you mean by “additional solos”?

As Uematsu graduated from Kanagawa University, The Black Mages all wore the student uniform colors of a white shirt and black pants. – I don’t understand what is meant by “student uniform colors of a white shirt and black pants”. Please clarify.

The band performed "The Rocking Grounds" and "Maybe I'm a Lion" from their second album, and joined with the orchestra for "Advent: One-Winged Angel" as an encore to the concert. – I don’t understand what is meant by “as an encore to the concert”. How can one piece be an encore to an entire concert?

A recorded album was released on February 15, 2006 by Square Enix, and included that pieces by The Black Mages. – That pieces?

External links

The first link appears dead to me.

Additional comment: I'd add a members section, as seen in e.g. Linkin Park#Band members.

I'll pass the article as soon as these issues have been taken care of. The Prince (talk) 15:48, 4 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I think I've gotten it all. The external link is only temporarily dead; something's going on with the http://www.square-enix-usa.com/na/ site today, but it wasn't like that last week. I'm not sure what you mean about the encore line, however. An encore is always one piece. A band (or orchestra) plays the entire regular set, then they come back and play an encore piece, either due to audience demand or as a scripted encore. In this case, the encore piece was "One Winged Angel", and both the orchestra and the black mages together performed it. --Pres N 19:25, 4 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, okay. I think I've misunderstood it a little. I thought an encore meant that they played a piece a second time. Anyway, great work fixing the issues. I'm passing the article now. The Prince (talk) 21:48, 4 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]