Talk:The Beyoncé Experience/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: WonderBoy1998 (talk · contribs) 15:10, 24 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I'd be reviewing this tour for GA. Hopefully it won't take long.

Links and files

Some problematic links -http://toolserver.org/~dispenser/cgi-bin/webchecklinks.py?page=The_Beyonc%C3%A9_Experience#view:0.1.1.1.1.1

Specifically this one is dead- Ref 66- ^ "R&B singer Beyonce to play Taco Bell Arena". Idaho Statesman. The McClatchy Company. August 16, 2007. Retrieved June 7, 2013.

Done - Relpaced My love is love (talk) 15:51, 24 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Only one non free files, which has a rationale. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 15:22, 24 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Background

" and the official date the tickets went on sale was on April 20, 2007"- there is something wrong with this sentence.
"The second leg was in Australia before moving on to the third leg in Europe, beginning in Frankfurt, Germany before going through countries such as Spain, Sweden and Portugal ending the leg with several shows in the UK."- Break up this sentence for more clarity. Also add commas after every location such as in "Frankfurt, Germany before" → "Frankfurt, Germany, before"
If the closing venue of each leg is given, then why not include the opening venues?
"who fought with famine"- Which famine? Be specific.

Everything Done except the last one. How should i specify which famine, I don't understand. My love is love (talk) 15:51, 24 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I mean there must be a specific famine the people "fought". For example, there was a 2005 Niger food crisis.

Actually nothing is stated in the sources provided. She donated the food in every city she visited, probably for poor people, homeless people etc living in that particular city. I don't thing it could be specified.

Band and Stage

"Ten abbreviated versions of Destiny's Child's songs" - what do you mean by "abbreviated versions"?

They were shorter; if the original song was 3 or 4 minutes long, during the tour it lasted only 1 minute.

You need to use a different word, like "shortened".

Done

"The set list of the shows included songs from the standard and deluxe edition of B'Day as well as songs from Dangerously in Love (2003). Ten abbreviated versions of Destiny's Child's songs were performed, as well as "Listen", a track performed by Knowles on the soundtrack of the 2006 musical drama film Dreamgirls, in which Knowles had starred."- Include a reference for the setlist. Done
" adding that "Freakum Dress" a hard-rock song about every woman's most seductive outfit was performed because of that"- Sentence needs to be reformed in a better and more understandable way. Done - Removed.

Concert synopsis

"Onstage Knowles had an all-female band, and the show used men only as dancers for the female audience as noted by Pareles of The New York Times and Anthony Venutolo of The Star-Ledger.[21][19]"- Does this really belong in this section? Done - Replaced in another section.

Crical Reception

Section is good.

Commercial performance

Minor change I made myself.

Incidents

Minor change I made myself.

Broadcast and recordings

No problems here.

Rest sections

No problems. Passing as soon as all the previous problems cleared up.

Everything Done. My love is love (talk) 16:37, 24 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Passed! Great work! I assume your next step would be nominating B'Day for good topic. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 16:43, 24 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Of course. Thank you for reviewing the article. My love is love (talk) 17:03, 24 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]