Talk:The Bells of Saint John/GA1
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:38, 7 March 2014 (UTC)
Comments
- "the episode was the first episode" maybe just lose the second "episode".
- Having said that, is "the episode was the first episode of the second half of the series" really important?
- "Official Poster from the BBC Website." ->"Official poster from the BBC website"
- No need to link common geographical terms like London.
- What is "The Great Intelligence"?
- Quotes, including those in the lead, should be referenced and attributed.
- I'm not sure a link to Nuzzle and Scratch for Eve de Leon Allen is relevant here.
- "As the girl leaves, it is revealed that the girl" repetitive, perhaps "As the girl leaves, it is revealed that she is..."?
- tell him that "The bells of Saint John" -> why is The capitalised here?
- "find the TARDIS exterior" repetitive, -> "find its exterior..."
- "initially doesn't recognize" avoid contractions (does not) and use BritEng (recognise).
- "internet" or "Internet"? Be consistent.
- " which leads to The Doctor going to change out of his" -> "this leads The Doctor to change into..."
- Is it "the Doctor" or "The Doctor"? Be consistent.
- " and they go to a café to try and work out what's happening" not elegant prose at all. And avoid contractions. And no need for that accent, cafe is perfectly acceptable.
- "the Great Intelligence" or "The Great Intelligence"?
- "The show was the official beginning for Clara Oswald" do you mean this episode?
- "Wi-Fi!'".[7]" no need for that full stop.
- Suggest you appropriately link companion somewhere in the prose.
- Oswald is linked in 'Prequel'. Matty.007
- "Filming began on 8 October;[3] some filming took place in London, at the Westminster Bridge and alongside the River Thames,[16] with motorbike scenes at the London locations filmed around 16 October 2012.[17][18] The rooftop scenes were filmed ..." film appears four times in two sentences, revise for better prose.
- Is it "the Shard" or "The Shard"?
- Normally hyphenate "four-and-a-half"
- "Aladair" -> "Alasdair" perhaps?
- "Summer Falls - a book " en dash instead of a hyphen.
- Check reference titles for mis-use of hyphens, e.g. ref 20.
- Avoid SHOUTING in the refs.
A few issues following this quick run-through, I'll put the article on hold for a week to allow changes to be made. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:20, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
- I have fixed all except the dashes in refs, I don't know what to change it to. Thanks, Matty.007 12:25, 9 March 2014 (UTC)