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Talk:The 2nd Law/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:22, 1 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • Split the opening sentence after Muse.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in a span of ten months" no need for "a span of".
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead is a little thin for an article of such length, see WP:LEAD for some pointers on expectations.
I've expanded the lead, but I'm not sure if it's too big/bulky or focusing on the performance of the album's singles too much. Aria1561 (talk) 17:18, 1 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • " studio to begin recording their sixth studio album" repetitive use of "studio"
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Bellamy jokingly described" who's Bellamy?
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Avoid linking in the quotes, per the MOS (i.e. "As much as possible, avoid linking from within quotes, which may clutter the quotation, violate the principle of leaving quotations unchanged, and mislead or confuse the reader.")
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • ""something radically different" from their prior releases. " ref needed here for this direct quote.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "experimented with music and sounds in particular, which makes this album their most experimental piece ever" reptitive and according to whom?
Sentence removed. Aria1561 (talk) 17:23, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • This article claims that "Does It Offend You, Yeah?" is an electronic rock group while the band's article states they are a "dance-punk" band...
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "brass players" do you mean brass instruments? I would link this.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Suddenly repeating first names and relinking band members in the Composition section. Link full name first time and thereafter refer to by surname, assuming no ambiguity can arise.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Avoid single-sentence paragraphs.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The electronic-tinged track "Follow Me" was produced by Nero." tinged? And ref?
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Matt Bellamy revealed..." just Bellamy.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The 2nd Law: Isolated System" and "Follow Me", were featured in the film adaptation of the novel." ref
 Done – Couldn't find a reliable source for "Follow Me" though. Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Don't suddenly relink Muse midway through the article.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a trailer for their next album, The 2nd Law, " odd, this article is about "their next album", just "a trailer for The 2nd Law" will suffice.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On 9 August, Muse... " ref for this?
 Done – Couldn't find one; removed. Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Singles section could use copyediting and tweaking to run for better prose.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Avoid overlinking, you relink BBC Radio 1 just a couple of paras after you haven't linked it.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Petridis' quote doesn't quite equal a "criticism" to me.
I've moved it a bit further down as I think it still belongs in the section. Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Allmusic->AllMusic.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "their excursions" not entirely clear who "their" relates to here, perhaps start the quote one word later and say "Muse's "excursions..." instead?
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Grammy noms need refs.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Avoid using hash to mean "number".
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why is the commercial performance section split from the Charts and certifications section when both are intrinsically linked?
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Don't see any point in hiding the deluxe edition details.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • You link mixing at Lord-Alge, but just before Nero is also mixing, link items on their first use.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Year-end charts table, once you sort it, you can't restore the original format, because of the Chart (2013) heading I suspect. Plus it sorts incorrectly because it places the 2012 and 2013 together, not necessarily under the right heading.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Danish Albums Chart and Italian Albums Chart, both missing a ref.
 Done – Couldn't find a source; remvoed. Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Same table sorting problem with the Certifications table, the Summaries heading messes it up.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first See also is an external link, the second and third are already linked in the aritlce so don't need to be in a See also section.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please fix the bare URLs (see WP:LINKROT for reasons why).
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Use consistent date formats for publication and access dates in the references.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

This set of comments is a quick first run-through. There's a lot to sort out, I'll put it on hold for a week to see if we can make some progress. The Rambling Man (talk) 09:15, 1 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed most of these issues, but there are still some left to fix and some improvements (lead, etc.) to make. Aria1561 (talk) 16:22, 1 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, well as I said, I've put it on hold until 8 July. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:43, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I'll be closing this review tomorrow unless I see any further activity. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:03, 7 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I've fixed all of the issues that you've told me to fix. Aria1561 (talk) 14:51, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
You didn't respond to the "experimental" comment. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:11, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Forgot to. I've replied now. Aria1561 (talk) 17:23, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Final bits:

  • Certification should sort by sales, i.e. Triple platinum sorts above platinum which sorts above gold. If not, make it unsortable.
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 21:53, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 13, ref 16, ref 55, need work.
 Done – Ref 13 has been removed due to being a dead link, 16 and 55 have been fixed. Aria1561 (talk) 21:53, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Avoid SHOUTING in ref titles.
  • Be consistent with linking, you link UK Albums Chart in ref 107 and not 108, but you link Official Charts Company in 108 and not 107. And you give the location in 108. This comment applies to all of your references, so please check them all, not just those I've noted here.
  • Some of your online references have dates, some have access dates, be consistent, some have none, please consider WP:REF as you do this.

Final note: many of your references are poorly formed, please fix them. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:21, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I have tried to fix every reference in the article. They shouldn't be poorly formed anymore. The consistent linking problem, shouting problem, and consistent dating problem should be fixed now. Every reference now has a 9 July 2015 access date, as well. There were references that didn't have a publication date in the source, might I add. Some also contained dead links (those have been removed). Hopefully, there wasn't anything that I missed. Aria1561 (talk) 01:13, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Just need a replacement for the Twitter reference which isn't considered RS, and then we're good to go I think. The Rambling Man (talk) 06:03, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – Aria1561 (talk) 15:59, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Good work, now promoting to GA. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:30, 10 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for reviewing this. :) Aria1561 (talk) 15:51, 10 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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