Talk:Thayer Melvin/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 22:00, 11 September 2015 (UTC)

I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:00, 11 September 2015 (UTC)

• No DABs, external links OK

• Thanks!

• Image appropriately licensed.

• Thanks!

• local common schools What's a common school?

• I've wiki-linked the mentions of common schools in both the lede and the prose to Common school for context.

• Melvin was appointed to his First Judicial District circuit judge seat "Reappointed" might be in order here.

• This has been changed. Thanks for the suggestion!

• Link bar, WV first Judicial Circuit, circuit judge, private, Dept. of West Virginia, company, prosecuting attorney, primary and secondary schools,

• Bar, circuit judge, prosecuting attorney, primary and secondary schools, private, company have all been wiki-linked; WV first Judicial Circuit and Dept. of West Virginia do not yet have articles to link to.

• Then go ahead and red link them.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:03, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

• served as an accredited delegate Were there other kinds of delegates?

• There was not so I've removed "accredited" from the lede and the prose.

• Partisan should probably be plural.

• Done! Let me know if I didn't pluralize it in the right place.

• Melvin served first as an orderly sergeant and then as a first lieutenant of his company.[1][3] In August 1861, Melvin Use a pronoun every once in a while.

• Done! Let me know if there are any other instances where this should be done.

• Actually there's a lot more of this in the political and legal sections than I caught on my first pass. Go through it more thoroughly and vary your usages.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:03, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

• discharged with brevets from the Union Army This doesn't make sense; brevets were associated with a rank. The infobox says brevetted colonel. If this is correct than add it to the main body as his last rank mentioned is captain.

• This has been incorporated. Thanks for the suggestion.

• Tweaked this for you to follow the usual terminology.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:03, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

• Following the war in the fall of 1865 The first bit is redundant, we already know that the war was over.

• Done!

• despite his residency in Brooke County tell the reader that Wellsburg is in Brook Co.

• Done!

• One year terms as Attorney General?

• Yes sir, at that time. I've added this to the text.

• His resignation only a few weeks after election seems very suspicious to me. Any evidence that it was done to allow the governor to appoint his replacement?

• It could have been, and I've thought the same thing, but I was not able to find references to corroborate our suspicion.

• Fair enough.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:03, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

• Be consistent about including or not including place of publication in your bibliography.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:39, 15 September 2015 (UTC)

• All references now have place of publication, hyphenated ISBNs (where applicable), and OCLC numbers. Thank you for the thorough and thoughtful review Sturmvogel 66, it's greatly appreciated! -- West Virginian (talk) 14:59, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

• While not a requirement in any way, I usually don't bother to link the place of publication.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:03, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

• Sturmvogel 66, I've red-linked the two terms in question, and I've also added more personal pronouns rather than repeat Melvin. Let me know if this looks good to go, and please also let me know if you have any further suggestions or comments. I appreciate your guidance! -- West Virginian (talk) 16:17, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

• With a little help from Corinne, the pronoun shortage has been rectified. There's one more issue that doesn't affect this review; you've got some overlinking going on. Generally, you only should link on the first usage of a term. This script will help catch them more easily than manually checking for them yourself.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:46, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

• Sturmvogel 66, thank you for the additional guidance and for taking the time to engage in this review. I look forward to working with you again very soon! -- West Virginian (talk) 17:55, 17 September 2015 (UTC)