Talk:Thatgamecompany/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 15:44, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
	1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	~~Comments below~~
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	~~Comments below~~
	2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
	6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	~~Comment below~~
	7. Overall assessment.

DoneWhat's "high-definition" in "high-definition visuals and sound"? (general reader) It's a bit of a TV buzz word and might need a more precise term or a synonym. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"multiplayer modes" link (general reader) — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"The company's second PlayStation 3 game, Flower," -- commas not needed: "Math teacher John said" vs "John, math teacher, said". — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"second PlayStation 3 game" -- second link, already linked in "with the PlayStation 3's motion" — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
DoneEmployees 12 (as of Mar. 2011) --may be March would be better? I know it's US spelling, but space isn't an issue here and you use full month names in prose. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"in the Fall of 2005" -- I don't know about this but does Fall (US) needs capitalization? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, we capitalize the seasons over here. --Pres N 19:36, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done"University of Southern California Interactive Media Division" doesn't have apostrophe while "University of Southern California's School of Cinematic Arts" does. You did use it in Flow and Jenova Chen articles. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"The strong response to the game" -- strong? Should probably clarify if it was good/positive/mixed? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"continue making games like it after they left school" -- may be just say "like Flow". — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"normal physical production" -- I assume this is retail distribution, albeit worded strange. May not be clear to a general reader. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"The strong response to the game, released in 2005," -- what was released in 2005 -- game or response? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Technically I'd just said that they decided in Fall 2005, right after releasing the game, so restating 2005 isn't useful. --Pres N 19:36, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

DoneI think "Game Title" and "Release Date" can be "Game title" and "Release date", since they aren't proper nouns and the first word is already capitalized for table caption. I know though many editors prefer all first caps table captions sometimes. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Table removed. --Pres N 00:39, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done"The company was housed in the Sony offices in Los Angeles and given the funds to start up the company" -- would the two clauses not be best the other way around (first fund, then house)? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"producer", "designer" and engineer? should be linked. I'm not sure what engineer means though? Game engine? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Engineer is programmer. They're technically different, but colloquially in the industry engineer is sometimes used for programmers that also design the systems they're coding, as opposed to "grunt" programmers who get told what to write. The distinction is meaningless in this case, and I'm pretty sure he picked his own title as TGC isn't consistent in what they call their employees. --Pres N 00:03, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

DoneI won't nitpick too much on porse as I suspect this will go to FAC anyway. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:03, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

That's the plan! Feel free to nitpick all you want here- light knows you or someone else'll nitpick the heck out of it at FAC. :) --Pres N 00:03, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done"Santiago's role was the president of the company" -- may be just "Santiago was the president of the company" — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:16, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Clarke was another designer"Clarke was another designer" reads weird although I don't have any suggestions off the top of my head. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:16, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's the repetition of designer so soon. Moved to be in the same order as the preceding sentence. --Pres N 00:03, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done"were built by SuperVillain Studios;" - built? May be designed/created/developed? Not a typical word for video game dev. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:16, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"beyond a design influence and art direction role" -- this asks for a little more explanation, additional info. Basically I am wondering, what "design influence" and "art direction" is exactly. I think could guess pretty close, but a general reader might not. You might also link game design and game art design. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:16, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"The final game of Thatgamecompany's three-game contract with Sony, it is being developed by a team of twelve." -- sentence structure. Perhaps "This is the final game of Thatgamecompany's three-game contract with Sony and is being developed by a team of twelve." — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:16, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done" This does not include Santiago, who was replaced as a producer by Robin Hunicke in order to concentrate on her role as the company's president" — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:16, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Presumably you meant the "this"; changed to "this team"

Done"than are typically shown" -- so what experiences are typically shown and by whom? Is the source vague too? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:16, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"meant to convey emotions more than a message" -- so they are also meant to convey a message a little? Also is convey the right word? Video games do not have emotions and could only convey them from some in-game character. Perhaps use "provoke" or a synonym (evoke?:)) like in the lead? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:31, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

He contradicts himself in that interview; he says that it's a mix of feelings and a message and then spends the rest of the paragraph saying that he's too young to make games with a strong message so he focuses on feelings. Also- evoke is good because I used convey too much, but I would argue that convey is just as applicable as evoke- static objects evoke; dynamic, reactive objects can convey as well. That's a large part of Chen's design ideas- that when the game reacts to what the player is doing it can actively express (convey) emotions to the player, not just have the player react (evoke) to it. Semantics, though. --Pres N 00:03, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done"Through this she hopes to change the rest of the industry to also approach making videogames" -- video games separate as the quote ended and next one hasn't begun yet. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:31, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"as the pressure on profits that that entails" -- "that" twice. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:31, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done"Thatgamecompany tries to support the independent video game development industry by funding and connecting independent game developers" -- how? A little cliff-hanger sentence. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:31, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Dropping it- they were vague on the details, and the interview was 2 years ago- nothing definite has materialized. They do connect indie game devs to each other, but that's just called being nice- most indie devs network like that. --Pres N 00:03, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

DoneWould games rather have a little 1-3 sentence description and {{main}} links instead of table? That would be mostly my preference though to better make this into a "topic" article. Anycase, does PlayStation 3 need to be linked 3 times? Table isn't sortable so what's the point? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:31, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, changed to text. The other VG GA's either integrate it into History (Bungie), have a separate list and integrate it into History (Key (company)), or do it all in text as there are no separate articles (ABA Games). Most of the text is lifted straight from the relevant articles, though Journey is of course not an FA like the other two. --Pres N 00:39, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

DoneWould logo need a caption? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:35, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
DoneMay be add a screenshot from one of the games to give a feel for the art style? — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:35, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Eh, I'd like to but the art style changes between games, and I don't think I can defend it at FAC. I would if I had a free-use one. --Pres N 00:03, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for hastily written and a bit abrupt explanations. GAs are not the most popular area and this one's marinating since start of April. Hasty review is better than no review :) Anyway, since I know you'll most likely take this to FAC, might as well pick on small details now. — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 16:37, 2 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! Gotten through all of the comments. --Pres N 00:39, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

All seems nice for a GA! — HELLKNOWZ ▎TALK 07:09, 3 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]