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GA Review

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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 15:22, 3 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]


I'll review this. ceranthor 15:22, 3 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

cool   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  19:23, 3 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@Dunkleosteus77: Sorry for the delay. I'll post comments shortly. ceranthor 14:36, 10 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
It’s okay, I’m actually pretty busy so I’ll try to address any comments on the weekend   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:43, 10 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

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Lead
  • "They have been found in the Pisco Formation of Peru and the Bahía Inglesa, Coquimbo, and Horcón Formations of Chile. " - any way to make this sentence fit better into the flow of this paragraph? It seems out of place
does it?   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I think so. The issue seems to be the choppiness of the prior and posterior sentences here: "They are the only known aquatic sloths. They have been found in the Pisco Formation of Peru and the Bahía Inglesa, Coquimbo, and Horcón Formations of Chile. Thalassocnus are placed in the subfamily Thalassocninae of the family Megatheriidae." Let me know what you think. ceranthor 19:17, 15 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " The long tail was probably used for diving and balance similar to the modern day beaver (Castor spp.) and platypus (Ornithorhynchus anatinus)." - Are words missing between "balance" and "similar"? If not, I think it should be "similarly" rather than "similar"
done
Taxonomy
  • " The Horcón Formation specimen SGO.PV 21545, a foot, discovered in 2011 belongs to possibly T. littoralis, T. carolomartini, or T. yuacensis.[4]" - think perhaps too much separation between the subject and verb here. Suggest rephrasing.
the only separation is “a foot discovered in 2011”   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@Dunkleosteus77: Still, the sentence is already pretty wordy so I think less separation would be helpful to the reader. ceranthor 19:17, 15 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Any ideas how?   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  19:47, 15 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The more I look at it, the more it becomes more of a non-issue nitpick. I think this is fine. ceranthor 14:04, 16 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A specimen discovered in 2012 from the Bahía Inglesa Formation of a right mandible, SGO.PV 1093, belongs to either T. antiquus or T. natans; also found were femurs, SGO.PV 1133, which are not assigned to a species." - same issue as just above.
And is this one fine too?   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:31, 16 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and yuacensis in honor of the locality it was found in, Yuaca.[2]" - But just that particular species, right? Little unclear perhaps?
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Description
  • "Thalassocnus is the only aquatic xenarthran–a group that includes sloths, anteaters, and armadillos–though, the ground sloth Eionaletherium from the Miocene of Venezuela may have adapted to nearshore life.[15] " - Why the comma after "though"?
removed   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "T. natans has the most complete skeleton preserved, and measures from snout to tail 2.55 meters (8.4 ft)" - Nitpick, but I don't think the comma after "preserved" is needed
removed   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Thalassocnus may have exhibited sexual dimorphism, indicated by the variation of individual fossils of T. littoralis, and based on observed differences between two skulls of T. carolomartini." - Suggest removing the comma, as it disrupts the flow of this sentence IMO
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • What are premaxillae? A brief parenthetical or description would be helpful! Also, they should be linked at their first mention rather than their second.
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The structure of the tail vertebrae indicates strong musculature, and is similar to the beaver (Castor spp.) and platypus (Ornithorhynchus anatinus) which use their tails for balance and diving rather than propulsion while swimming." - I'd remove the comma after "musculature" and add a comma before "which use"
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Paleobiology
  • "Thalassocnus were nearshore herbivores which likely became aquatic due to the area in which they lived in being a desert that could not provide enough food for their survival on land." - Very wordy as is. Two "which" phrases is, I think, excessive. Suggest rewording and reducing verbiage.
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Paleoecology
  • " Several whales are known, most common the mid-sized cetotheriid baleen whales" - Is this meant to be "most commonly"?
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not sure how relevant this entire section is to Thalassocnus. Might not be worth keeping it - can you point to other work where similar articles have taken this approach?
I did this on Livyatan, seemed to check out   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

References

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  • Stylistic change: citations should generally be ascending, ie. [4][16][35]
  • Is Fossilworks.org considered a reliable source? I can't tell.
yeah, we use it on basically every paleo article   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why does ref 17 use full names instead of first/middle initials?
it doesn’t?   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@Dunkleosteus77: I meant 13. Sorry for the error. ceranthor 19:14, 15 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
fixed   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  19:47, 15 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Earwig's tool checks out

Images

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the source says “All rights reserved” so it looks like a copyvio, so I’ll just remove it   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  15:57, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Chiming in here, it says "reworked after", so it is not taken directly from the journal article. It could be too close to the source, but then it needs a deletion request rather than a speedy deletion tag, as it will need to be judged. FunkMonk (talk) 16:46, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]
so the skull faces the text

@Dunkleosteus77: Good work! Sorry for the delay. These shouldn't take too much time to fix. Let me know if you have questions or responses. ceranthor 15:31, 14 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

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