Talk:Ten Nights in a Bar Room (1910 film)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: DepressedPer (talk · contribs) 08:32, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

I'll skim through this one in a couple of hours.

Here's some issues I found:

• Mention the year that the novel originally came out in both the Lead and Production.
• "...a drunkard after financial ruin caused by the saloon-keeper of the bar which he frequents." → "...a drunkard after the saloon-keeper brought financial ruin to the bar he frequents."
• Rewrite the first sentence in the Plot section as: "The Moving Picture World synopsis states:" The film being mentioned its lost is already in the Lead.
• "The writer of the scenario is unknown, but it was most likely Lloyd Lonergan. He was an experienced newspaperman employed by The New York Evening World while writing scripts for the Thanhouser productions." Merge these short sentences.
• "The film was released outside of the planned order due to a scheduling conflict, originally The American and the Queen was planned to be released on this date. The American and the Queen was pushed back to November 11." Found some OVERCITE in this one. Merge these short sentences.
• "The film received mixed reviews by critics," reviews from critics
• "H. Jeanval of The Moving Picture News highlighting the scenery and costuming betraying the supposed poverty the family is supposed to be in." Rewrite it to make sense.
• "The New York Dramatic Mirror was not a neutral party for reviews and it would take another shot at the Thanhouser Company with another article." Remove the word 'it'.
• The Thanhouser refs should have the following: work=Thanhouser Films: An Encyclopedia and History.
• I added an External links section with an IMDb page of the film and Category:Films about alcoholism.

I'll put this on hold so you can deal with the issues. DepressedPer (talk) 23:11, 2 June 2015 (UTC)

@DepressedPer: - Fixes done, had to alter some wordings and clean a few other things up. All set I think and thanks for the ping. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 17:44, 14 June 2015 (UTC)

Another GA for the Silent film list. DepressedPer (talk) 17:46, 14 June 2015 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.