Talk:Television Romance/GA1
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 05:01, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
I'll look at this tomorrow when I am more awake! — GhostRiver 05:01, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
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Infobox and lede
[edit]- Mention the actual release date in the first sentence, not just the year
- Commas rather than em dashes in the first paragraph
- "
which waswritten by" - First sentence of the second paragraph is incongruent with the body; the double A-side release was in November
- "whereas" → "while" (whereas implies a differing opinion)
- "#83" → "number 83"
- "#2" → "number 2"
- These are all done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:23, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Composition and production
[edit]- mention that Doran and Baron-Gracie are from the band Pale Waves
- Ambient Light should be italicized
- "ironically, some listeners assume the song is a love song" → "some listeners incorrectly assume that "Television Romance" is a love song"
- Link Matthtew Healy up here in the second paragraph
- "after his manager, Jamie Oborne (who also managed Pale Waves), played Healy" → "after Jamie Oborne, who managed both the 1975 and Pale Waves, played him"
- Remove the parentheticals in the third paragraph and just make that a new sentence
- Some MOS:LQ issues throughout; punctuation like commas and periods should always be on the outside unless you're quoting a complete sentence
- Minus the MOS:LQ issues, these are all done as well.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:23, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Music video
[edit]- Should ideally be after the "Release" section since the video came out later
- Delink Matty Healy, should be linked above
- "co-directed by Matty Healy (making this his directorial debut) and Samuel Burgess-Johnson" → "co-directed by Samuel Burgess-Johnson and Matty Healy, with the latter making his directorial debut."
- ""She had no clue what was going on but she was loving it,"" → ""She had no clue what was going on but she was loving it"," per MOS:LQ
- The YouTube views seem somewhat trivial unless it broke a record
- "nominated for an NME Award for Best Video at the NME Awards 2018" → "nominated for Best Video at the 2018 NME Awards"
- Comma after "on 14 February"
- Alternative Press also reviewed the video here
- These should be done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:34, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Release
[edit]- A better source than Amazon should be used for the release date; try this from DIY
Reception
[edit]- Upon its release
- "critics" → "music critics", and link to Music journalism
- Comma after "writing for NME"
- ""a shimmering, summer-tinged indie banger."" → ""a shimmering, summer-tinged indie banger"." per MOS:LQ
- ""the song's heavenly chorus,"" → ""the song's heavenly chorus"," per MOS:LQ
- ""allows the Manchester quartet to elevate into a league of their own."" → ""allows the Manchester quartet to elevate into a league of their own"." per MOS:LQ
- No comma after "Clash writer Robin Murray"
- ""a sugar-sweet ear-worm of a track."" → ""a sugar-sweet ear-worm of a track"." per MOS:LQ
- What makes The VPME a reliable source?
- More MOS:LQ stuff all through this section
- "for sounding very similar to" → "for its similarities to"
- "Some critics" are mentioned, but then only one is referenced
- Minus the MOS:LQ issues, these are all done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:35, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Addendum
[edit]- The year-end lists and awards and nominations should be in prose, since the former only has three and the latter has one. See something like "Uncomfortable"
- Additionally, there should be a section called "Commercial performance" that talks about chart history; this is in addition to, not instead of, the charts below
- Done. And since there wasn't a lot to talk about with regard to the single charting, I just added a blurb to the "Release" section.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:39, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Track listing
[edit]- Incomplete - no credits given in the parameters, no citations, and no total runtime
- How is it now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:34, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Charts
[edit]- Table should have a title/caption per MOS:TABLECAPTION
Release history
[edit]- Table should have a title/caption per MOS:TABLECAPTION
- There should be citations for both of these releases
- "DL" should link to music download, and LP to gramophone record
References
[edit]- Gig Goer should be the work parameter, not publisher
- Other issues with reliability of sources outlined above
General comments
[edit]- Images are either Creative Commons or are fair use, and all are relevant
- No stability concerns in the revision history
- Earwig score looks good
- Article is missing a Personnel section with music and production credits
- Added personnel section.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:30, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 19:26, 27 October 2021 (UTC)
- @GhostRiver: How do these changes look to you?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 14:44, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- Much better! I've fixed a number of small issues that came up, and now I think that this one is ready to go! — GhostRiver 01:21, 31 October 2021 (UTC)