Talk:Tasha Yar/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ed! (talk · contribs) 20:49, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Repetition in the lead: "critics, who were disappointed with the manner of the character's exit from the show." and then "The manner of her first death was received with mixed reviews,"

Removed the first mention of critical response. Miyagawa (talk) 22:51, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

In "Appearances," you should note the actors who portray characters mentioned.

Done. Miyagawa (talk) 22:46, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Rather than creating a third timeline where Yar was on board the Enterprise-C, she simply moved back into the main timeline causing her to both be on board the earlier Enterprise and to have died at the hands of Armus on Vagra II. This process was later described as "world jumping" rather than a typical timeline travel story by critics.[24]" -- I don't understand this sentence at all. Could you try to rewrite it?

Re-written, but I think it needs a diagram. I'll see if I can draw one up. Miyagawa (talk) 23:09, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I think her death impacted Data's character development, right? Particularly in "The Measure Of A Man." It could be added in at the end of the line about her and Data's romance.

Done. Miyagawa (talk) 23:05, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

You note in the lead that Yar inspired the women characters of the subsequent series. Was it just Kira? Do the sources not any specific impact on the Dax, Janeway or Torres characters?

It doesn't mention them specifically, what the source says in relation to Yar is "They also see a progression from the original series in the "gender assumptions" of The Next Generation (TNG), Deep Space Nine (DS9), or Voyager (STV). "For one thing, women are everywhere visible in positions of genuine leadership" (90). This may be arguable for TNG, where the doctor and the psychic counselor, although important, are not in command positions, and the one female who is, security officer Tasha Yar, is killed early in the series. In DS9, not only are such women in such positions among the regular cast, but more appear: starship captains, Romulan Ambassadors, Starfleet Admirals, and the leader of the Dominion, the Federation's most dangerous enemy since the Borg. Gregory notes that in DS9, the female leads "are assertive, combative women who take leading roles in action sequences" ". Miyagawa (talk) 22:49, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'd suggest you mention those positions specifically. Perhaps after "where women are in lead parts." add something like this: "He noted specifically that women appeared in command positions more regularly as main and supporting characters, and are portrayed as more assertive, combative women who take leading roles in action sequences". —Ed!^(talk) 23:03, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Miyagawa (talk) 23:24, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I believe she has a few stock footage appearances, which might merit mention.

Done, added to casting and concept. Miyagawa (talk) 23:33, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Memory Alpha notes a surprise appearance by her in the background of an episode, which might be interesting to note here.

I think you're referring to the waving goodbye bit in Symbiosis (Star Trek: The Next Generation), so I've added that to concept and casting. Miyagawa (talk) 23:20, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Duplicate links tool shows six duplicate links to correct.

Fixed. Just installed a duplicate link highlighter so that should hopefully stop me from doing that in the future! :) Miyagawa (talk) 23:39, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

No problems with Dab links, but one external link appears to be dead.

Replaced with a new one. I'm surprised the old one died so quickly, it was only about six weeks old! Miyagawa (talk) 22:37, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I see no problems with article stability or neutrality.

Placing it on hold pending a few fixes. —Ed!^(talk) 21:42, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Do you think the image in the infobox would be better if it was the season one promotional image? Its this image. I only ask because I based the structure of this article off the Grey's Anatomy character structures and those use the promotional shots where available. The image currently on this article was already on there when I expanded it. Miyagawa (talk) 22:55, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, I'd think the promo image is of higher quality so we could use that. —Ed!^(talk) 23:03, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'm wondering if "Casting and concept" would be better entitled "Concept and development". What do you think? Miyagawa (talk) 23:33, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Decided to be bold and change the section header. Also uploaded a reduced size version of that promotional photo and swapped out the image in the infobox with it. Miyagawa (talk) 23:52, 24 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Great work! Passing the article for GA. —Ed!^(talk) 00:46, 25 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]