Talk:Tarlac State University/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Amgisseman(BYU) (talk · contribs) 20:51, 3 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): Some minor edits needed for clarity in the prose (see below)

b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section):

b (citations to reliable sources): One source that didn't seem reliable. (see below)

c (OR): There are many uncited paragraphs in this article. There should at least be one citation per paragraph. Additionally, there are several sentences that are not sourced at the end of paragraphs (see below for specific sentences).

d (copyvio and plagiarism): See instances of direct copying below.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):

b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):

b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Comments

Sentences that need to be cited (in addition to adding at least one citation to each paragraph):

"Mario Manese was appointed as its first president (1965–1972), who introduced teacher education and engineering courses."Y
"Most of the public utility vehicles in Tarlac pass through the campus which provides students an easy access to its location."Y
"Due to the campus' spacious area, several offices and buildings were built here such as the University Hostel, Alumni Center, Hon. Jose V. Yap Library, and other structures. The activities of the Reserve Officers' Training Corps (ROTC) are also being performed within the campus." ✗
"The university also offers degree programs to international students. A number of students from USA, China, Hong Kong, Korea, and India have attended and graduated from TSU."Y
"In April 2016, the last commencement ceremony of the school was held with Norbina Genever Castro as the last principal."Y

References

The reference "History of Tarlac State University" is the same PDF as the "University Annual Reports" reference, and the same as the "TSU Annual Report". ✗
I don't think that the reference Santos De Leon is a reliable source. It looks like an online database like Wikipedia. Y
In general there seem to be a lot of primary sources from TSU's website itself. These sources would be self-published by the university. To avoid propaganda or promotional aspects associated with this page, there need to be more tertiary articles and reliable sources, especially in the new citations and sources that need to be added to a majority of the article. Y
These references didn't work for me:

Clarity

Why was Baking unable to finish his first term? I feel like that transition could also be a little smoother. The following paragraphs in "University era" could also flow better. It seems a little choppy just jumping from one administrator to the next. Y
In the section on campuses, be careful about the wording with college and university. It can become unclear what you're talking about. For example, "The colleges were designated to their respective campuses to control student population in the university." The previous sentence was talking about campuses, not colleges. The wording should be adjusted. Y
It would be nice if under the Laboratory School, you listed some of the awards that it had received since you mention that it got them. Y

Plagiarism: there are many sentences or phrases that are copied directly or are close paraphrasing to sentences on TSU history.

Article: ... Republic Act 4337, TSAT acquired its status as a college, the Tarlac College of Technology (TCT). Among other provisions, the law called for the merging of TSAT with Tarlac National Agricultural School in Camiling, Tarlac. Mario Manese was appointed as its first president.

TSU: ...of Republic Act 4337, TSAT acquired its full-fledged status as a college, the Tarlac College of Technology (TCT). Among other provisions, the law called for the merging of TSAT with Tarlac National Agricultural School in Camiling, Tarlac. Dr. Mario Manese was appointed as its first president

Article: ...Smith saw its expansion as a state college, particularly with the acquisition of a 10-hectare lot in Barrios Ungot and Maliwalo that came to be known as Lucinda Campus and which eventually became the site of the Laboratory School and various agro-industrial projects of the institution.

TSU: ... Smith’s lengthy stay in TCT saw its expansion as a state college, particularly with the acquisition of a 10-hectare lot in Barrios Ungot and Maliwalo that came to be known as Lucinda Campus and which eventually became the site of the Laboratory School and various agro-industrial projects of the institution.

Article: ...Technological University of the Philippines professor Rodolfo Baking was appointed by the BOR as the second president of the university on September 14, 1994. Like his predecessors, his administrative policies were geared towards the upgrading of academic standard and the offering of curricular programs that will cater to the development needs of the government and the private sector. Baking was not able to finish his term.

TSU: ...On September 14, 1994, TUP Professor Dr. Rodolfo Baking, was appointed by the BOR as the second president of the University. Like his predecessors, his administrative policies were geared towards the upgrading of academic standard and the offering of curricular programs that will cater to the development needs of the government and the private sector. Unfortunately Dr. Baking was not able to finish his term.

There are other examples, but these are just a few. These issues need to be addressed before the article can pass for Good Article.

I did make some minor edits (such as changing "the University" -> "the university" or "has a lack" -> "lacks")

There are some major issues with this article which I have outlined in my comments; I will leave the article on hold so that the nominator can address them.Amgisseman(BYU) (talk) 21:46, 3 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

New edits

I made some edits on the page based on the comments given by the reviewer. Kindly check it and leave a comment so that I could further improve the article. Thank you! Jcmpineda (talk) 17:32, 7 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Jcmpineda Thanks for making those edits. Here are a few things that could still be improved before the article is passed:

There is a sentence that still needs to be cited: "The activities of the Reserve Officers' Training Corps (ROTC) are also being performed within the campus."
There are still 3 references that don't work for me. The ones that have been taken care of are marked with checks above. But I can't even tell if they are reliable sources or not based on the citation, so would you be able to find other sources for the information or find an archived version of the link?
These paragraphs need to be cited: "Tarlac State University - Laboratory School (commonly referred to as Lab School or TSU-LS) was a secondary school in Tarlac City founded in 1985. It was officially under the College of Education, serving as a training ground for the practice teachers of the university. Its old building, now occupied by BS Criminology students, is located at Lucinda Campus in Binauganan, Tarlac City along with the College of Education and College of Science." and the one after: "TSU-LS was known in the province for the academic and athletic repute of its students. It had received several awards from different competitions during its active years, one of which was its title as the regional champion in National Cheerleading Championship in Central Luzon."
This needs to be cited as well: "Tarlac State University has one main campus and two satellite campuses within the vicinity of Tarlac City and an international joint institute in Hong Kong. The ten colleges were divided into three campuses to control the student population of the university. Its main campus, with the smallest land area, houses six colleges, whereas Lucinda Campus and San Isidro Campus both house two colleges."
As far as plagiarism goes, the ones that I had mentioned are good to go now. However, there are still some things that are copied from the TSU site. I use this copyvio detector and it shows me where the copied material is. Take a look at it and adjust any sentences that are worded too closely. Obviously phrases like "Tarlac College of Agriculture" will be fine, but the long sentences need to be reworded.
The reference "History of Tarlac State University" is STILL the same PDF as the "University Annual Reports" reference. Amgisseman(BYU) (talk) 19:19, 8 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Amgisseman(BYU): I have no idea how the copyvio detector works. How can I identify the lines or phrases on the article that are similar from the source? Also, please give me another week before giving the overall review for the article so that I can make additional improvements. I need to finish things at school right now and it seems that there are no other editors willing to improve the article. Jcmpineda (talk) 13:56, 9 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Jcmpineda: Hi Jcmpineda, Amigisseman won't be on Wikipedia for a few more days, so I'm following up with her GA reviews. We can give you another week. The copyvio detector compares the text of the article to the text of the references. If you click on the "copyvio detector" link Amgisseman provided, it will show you the text of the article on the left and the texts of different sources on the right. Items highlighted in red are directly quoted from one of the sources. For things like the list of colleges, it's completely normal for the text to be identical. However, other phrases within the prose are identical to their source and must be rephrased to avoid copyright violation. Those are the phrases highlighted in red on the left-hand side of the copyvio detector under "article" (for example, "she steered the university into attaining its visions and missions of offering relevant quality education to the people of Tarlac and its neighboring provinces" has wording identical to its source). Does that make sense? Rachel Helps (BYU) (talk) 15:56, 15 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Rachel Helps (BYU): Yes, it totally makes sense. I will try to start editing the article anytime soon. Thanks for the reply, by the way. Jcmpineda (talk) 23:35, 15 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Failed review

@Jcmpineda: There are edits that still need to be made on the article, for example citing in each paragraph. These issues have not been addressed although ample time was given for the edits. Please continue to work on the article and make the changes necessary and submit it for another GA review.Amgisseman(BYU) (talk) 19:19, 22 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]